Hotchkiss/Choate/Westminster- differences?

I’m trying to get a top-level feel for the differences in the kids, faculty, and administration between these three schools. I am looking for a child who is bright, charismatic, and exhibits ( so far, and want to keep it that way!) good character. All these schools are good academically, but I am looking for a general culture that is serious about learning, but also caring, friendly , and pays attention to each child. My son is not preppy, so while he is perfectly comfortable in and around that world, bullying attitudes need to be an anomaly if they exist at all. I also don’t want my son’s prep school experience to be harder than college! Any gut reactions to these questions out there?

I have no clue how to compare these three schools, but many Choaties report back (and CC office also stated at College Info Weekend) that college is a breeze after BS. This comment is not unique to Choate.