<ul>
<li><p>Try to really make your child have a college essay ready to be shown to guidance/teachers by the start of their senior year. Nothing radicallly changes in the early fall. Whether they believe it or not, they are ready to start writing the summer before senior year. They will thank you in the end when they are done and their friends are freaking out over essays, supplements and homework. (I did not use enough persuasion with D#1---plan to be more adamant with D#2. D#1 was a very stressed by essays and work load and wishes she had gotten it over with earlier, rather than dragging out the process.)</p></li>
<li><p>Set up interviews early whenever possible. Don't get closed out. Interviews can make a difference in admissions and scholarships.</p></li>
<li><p>Be realistic about money and what you are willing to spend. Research merit aid and understand where you stand in terms of financial aid and merit aid. Chances are you will not get pleasantly surprised. If a school doesn't give merit aid, don't expect it! If your EFC is too high, prepare to pay.</p></li>
<li><p>Local scholarships exist and can add up. Have your child do what needs to be done to try to win them. Keep on top of the deadlines and make sure they meet them. This is your money you are saving.</p></li>
</ul>
<p>We finished all the tours (8 total), narrowed to 5, has a top choice for ED, is on her second draft of her essay, has filled out the apps as much as she can, and is feeling pretty happy about it all. And, she has MONO! I pushed some but convinced her that senior year is going to be so much more enjoyable if she isn't staring deadlines in the face in November and December. Having mono is keeping her home, and what a better way to spend your summer than writing essays, right??? If you can get them to move on some of this, they will thank you for it in the fall.</p>
<p>Suggestion #1:
Is your child planning to major in a very competitive area such as vocal performance, musical theatre, or film production? He should have a Plan B major and choose Plan B schools to go along with that major.</p>
<p>I know. It's a lot of extra work. You don't need to invest quite as much in your Plan B list as in Plan A, though. But, a reach, match, and safety for the Plan B major would be a good idea.</p>
<p>S2 will be a film production major this fall at Chapman. However, while we were waiting to hear where he'd been accepted, he got his first rejection from a film production program. He was accepted to the school but not to the major. There wasn't anything else about that school that would cause him to want to attend there. That's when I started sweating. I realized that if he weren't accepted into any film production programs, then he'd still have those same schools but without his dream major. Without the film production major, he likely wouldn't have applied to any of those schools. So...think about it.</p>
<p>Suggestion #2</p>
<p>Prepare a list of required essay topics from schools to which your child will likely apply. If you can get your child to prepare the list, even better. Take your child with a laptop to a cafe which does not have Internet access. This is important. Give child money for coffee, lunch, and treats, and tell him to work away on those essays. In 2 days of this, he can have a great start by having first drafts of all his college essays. When senior year starts, there will not be time!!!</p>
<p>One caveat: when we did this last summer, it turned out that some of the essay topics online had not yet been changed for the new school year. So, a phone call might be in order to ask if the essay topic online is correct for the coming year.</p>
<p>Advice to seniors: enjoy your last year in HS, but don't take senior year as license to let up on the academics. College adcoms will look closely at your senior curriculum, and some will look closely at first-semester grades to see if you're really committed on the academic side. Some will even look at second-semester curriculum and grades and rescind offers if admission if there's a significant drop in performance. You needn't feel pressure; just steady as she goes.</p>
<p>Agree with keeping up with academics but please make time for some fun. Get those apps. done early so it's not hangng over your head for half the yaer. You only get to be a high school senior once. Try not to let the stress get to you. Really enjoy your senior year.</p>
<p>missypie, congrats to your son on getting his Eagle. </p>
<p>My DH finished with no time to spare about 30 years ago, and it's still one of his most treasured accomplishments, as he continues to remind our 14 yo S who is in the process!</p>
<ul>
<li>Take lots of pictures.</li>
<li>Accept and give extra hugs.</li>
<li>Find the time to them their favorites for breakfast, lunch, or dinner.</li>
<li>When they feel like talking, stay up late and listen.</li>
<li>Just enjoy every day - it will fly by faster than you can imagine.</li>
</ul>
<p>
[quote]
You have the opportunity to be the calm in the storm of angst. While not belittling the anxiety your senior will be feeling, you can avoid adding to it with your own anxieties.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>mafool - I just printed that out and hung it up by my desk. Thank you!</p>
<p>I think it's kind of painful but also helpful to print out the common app and give it to your rising hs senior as soon as possible. Mine was just sort of vague about the nuts and bolts of the application until I did that. She growled at me but the essays started taking shape soon after.</p>
<p>Sr year is often stressful enough. We took a low key/supportive approach to all the college and sr yr stuff going on. DS took on the responsibility for college apps and we were primarily in chauffeur mode fop college visits financial advisors for merit scholarship offers.</p>
<p>College admissions is nerve-wracking, but the number one thing to remember is that it is not a life or death event. Don't give admissions decisions more power over you or your children than they deserve.</p>
<p>If your child doesn't get into their dream school, it won't be the end of the world. If the financial aid works out so that unexpected choices have to be made, it won't be the end of the world. Even if they don't get into ANY college, which happens more rarely than most people think, it won't be the end of the world. Life will go on, and your child and you will still have many happy events and memories to look forward to. Really, getting into college is a very small piece of many years of life.</p>
<p>Keep repeating that until you and your child both believe it.</p>
<p>Important: the college that your son or daughter gets admitted to is not a measure of how good a job you've done as a parent. Nor is it an indication that your son or daughter is a better person than anyone else. Don't fall into the trap of thinking so.</p>
<p>Discuss the college list only with a core group on a "need to know" basis. Your neighbors, your mailman, your work colleagues and even (maybe especially) strangers on the internet don't need to know every college on the list or weigh your child's chances. Encourage your child to do the same. </p>
<p>Nothing breeds anxiety like talking to other worried people, except perhaps worrying about the embarrassment of having to tell someone that, no, my kid didn't get into College XYZ. </p>
<p>If you do discuss your child's college list with other people, take any opinions offered with a huge grain of salt, unless the people offering them have seen your child's high school transcript, test scores, and full application, and actually KNOW your child in real life. This is especially true for people who also have kids applying to college -- sometimes "opinions" are just envy and fear disguised as "being honest" and that sort of "honesty" can do a lot to make the picture appear gloomier or sunnier than it turns out to be when all is said and done. </p>
<p>And, finally, never forget: This too shall pass. Good luck!!!</p>
<p>Yesterday my son gave a couple of "farewell" gifts to a lifelong friend who is leaving for college in a few days. I observed from the background and the girl hardly said a word about them, much less "thank you." That prompted me to add this to the list: Your child will be receiving gifts this year, and likely adults will be doing big favors for him (like writing rec letters for various things.) If they don't already know how, teach them how to write a gracious thaink you note and how to graciously accept a gift and say thank you.</p>
<p>Since each situation/child is different, there is no one piece of advice that would work for all. On the other hand, many of the ideas here are worth considering if they fit your situation.</p>
<p>Don't tell them about this site!</p>
<p>post #34. Why? Do you think it would scare them?</p>
<p>Missiepie's advice REPEATED: WRITE THANKYOU NOTES !!!</p>
<p>To you 2008 HS grads who have received checks, remember, do not cash them until the thankyou note is written, mailed and received. </p>
<p>Parents: You are in charge of this skill, if you have not already taught it, and instilled it, get busy. Buy notecards, stamps, address book--and sit the darlings down for an essential life lesson in etiquette. (Also will help all new relationships with college friends' parents who entertain your students.)</p>
<p>ENJOY the Senior Year. It is full of bittersweet milestones for them and for you.</p>
<p>If you have found the rolling admission safety (that your kid likes), this will be so much easier... as the acceptance will be in hand in late fall/early winter. If you have NOT found that school, do it now.</p>
<p>Then you will be able to watch your kid blossom throughout the year. They realize that they are moving upward and onward and you will see signs of that. </p>
<p>If you and they have the college admissions thing in perspective and have followed the Parent Forum mantra of a BALANCED LIST, they will be able to take the disappointments (when and if the rejections come) in stride. Yes, a rejection will sting. But, admissions strategies done right, will mean that the sting disappears quickly and forward momentum takes over.</p>
<p>Realize that the 18-year old moving on and out of the house is the natural order of things and not to be mourned. Feel your pride!</p>
<p>I am no expert because my oldest are rising Sr.s but this summer I have learned to:</p>
<p>Try very hard to not nag and to only "advise" in small doses. </p>
<p>echo NorthStarmom. This is the time for them to take responsibility for themselves. Be a soft place to fall and unwind but not a crutch.</p>
<p>That doesn't mean I won't be anxious about the course of action they take so I accept Owlice's advice but convert it to wine and chocolate.</p>
<p>so this might seem opposite of what a graduated high school student might say, but...</p>
<p>to be honest, taking that "extra" science class my senior year helped me get into the college i wanted and i am glad i pushed myself senior year. if you do not apply early decision (or get accepted early), the first semester of senior year counts A LOT. there are also numerous other cases in which trying senior year helped. also, consider the teachers that your son/daughter will have taking certain classes (teacher recommendations will come in handy for more than just colleges). not to forget, students get awards and scholarships toward the end of senior year too. </p>
<p>HIGH SCHOOL DOES NOT END ONCE SENIOR YEAR BEGINS.</p>
<p>Along with all the advice about chilling out and realizing that everyone will go somewhere in the end, and 99 percent are happy with the choice, my one piece of practical advice is don't make plans to travel at Christmas. Most of the applications are due at the end of December/very early January. The smartest thing we did to eliminate stress was to stay home and let our procastinator get the applications done after his 1st semester exams were over. The essays he started in August just didn't get finalized until the due date loomed. Friends who planned family ski vacations or touring Europe or just visiting Grandma found their student totally stressed. Also, it really helps to apply in September to a good match safety rolling admission school. Knowing there was a place that he would be happy to go by early December took a lot of the stress out of the picture and reduced the number of applications filed (at $75 a pop, no need to have more than necessary).</p>