How accurately can you grade my essay?

<p>Prompt: </p>

<li>Success in life is largely a matter of luck. It has little correlation with merit, and in all fields of life there have always been people of great merit who did not succeed. </li>
</ol>

<p>Karl Popper, Popper Selections</p>

<li>As Colin Powell said, “There are no secrets to success. Don’t waste time looking for them. Success is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.” </li>
</ol>

<p>Adapted from Barry Farber, “Selling Points” </p>

<p>(beginning)</p>

<p>Success is only obtainable when one has earned it through hardwork and determination. Though “success” has often been falsely believed to be something that one achieves through luck, because of fortunate circumstances, one must earn his or her way to these positions. There exists many reasons why this is true, and substantial evidence lies in the business world, history, and even my personal experiences.</p>

<p>Favorism and social immobility are now things of the past, and with the law prevent depotism and developed nation’s notion of social mobility, success is open to everyone. Bill Gates had a childhood that started from the most “blue collar” neighborhood. His parents were working people and not necessarily CEOs of large industries. However, despite his apparent disadvantageous circumstances, he had worked hard throughout his life in order to achieve his goals. Many friends and family members of Gates actually expected him to work at the same company his father had been working at for over two decades. Bill Gates’ history was similar to a goldfish swimming up the Nile river. Nonetheless, he had defied the majority and achieved success. He had also found, through his years, that part of the business word was not about what you know but about who you know. At first, he had been profoundly discouraged, because despite all of the knowledge he had, he had almost no connectsion with powerful people. He changed this by demonstrating his knowledge and keen judgment skills to managers and bosses and worked up the corporate ladder. Depotism and social class used to be a hindrance ages ago, but today, we have the opportunities to achieve whatever we want.</p>

<p>The politicians we are aware of today all seem to be rich, white men, who had gained success because of unfair power, but in fact, many have achieved success by living the American dream, “the life from rages to riches.” Abraham Lincoln had literally grown up in a modest log cabin and worked with a sense of humility and pride. Any European in those days probably would have believed him to be “just another rich white male” who did not earn his success. This is false, for Lincoln was the epitome of what earned success is all about. He never went to school but taught himself how to read and write. He worked rigorously to campaign and speak his mind. In fact, during the election, he was the underdog. He was not expected to win but he defied the odds. Success is sometimes overlooked because of stereotypes, but if one works hard enough, he or she can achieve success in the most uncanny situations.</p>

<p>Small successes amount up to large ones. I had entered a math competition in which I had the disadvantage. I did not have proper training in order to win easily. However, I took one step at a time by pacing myself. One competition after another, I consistently won. Soon enough, I had become the champion of my region for that competition division in order to achieve profound</p>

<p>(end)</p>

<p>Critique in any way you want! It’s the Oct. SAT essay prompt by the way, and I’m curious of what you think of it. I want to see how accurate you guys are scoring this. I understand I wrote “depotism” when it isn’t even a word. I meant to write “nepotism”. Overall, the essay really sucked, but I’m curious of what it should’ve gotten. I’ll eventually post what I really got!</p>

<p>b u m p</p>

<p>I'd say 9 or 10.</p>

<p>What is your reasoning behind it? I felt the examples were poor since they had little detail and only supported the main idea minimally. I also understand that not having a conclusion would be detrimental to the overall grade.</p>

<p>I liked your examples, but the poor/lack of conclusion leads me to give a score of 9. what was the actual score anyway?</p>

<p>Did you make that stuff up about Gates? You do realize he came from a very affluent background, and his parents actually gave him $1 million to start Microsoft, right?</p>

<p>Anyway, that should be at least a 10 on an SAT essay. This isn't AP English...if you can write a competent essay you should score pretty high.</p>

<p>Also, you seem to be trying WAY too hard on this...I hardly used any fancy vocabulary and got an 11. You are trying to sound too smart or something here...just use your normal diction and vary the sentence structure a bit, and you'd probably score better.</p>

<p>And one more thing, you didn't really address the question...the question is asking whether or not success is based on hard work or luck...I'm not sure what taking one small step at a time qualifies as. I guess you are saying hard work leads to success, but you didn't do a very good job of addressing the other side of the argument (at least it seems to me). And I really can't emphasize enough that using words like "depotism" or "nepotism" is totally useless on an SAT essay.</p>

<p>I pulled these examples essentially out of thin air (I really didn't know what Bill Gates' history was all about lol..). I used the word "nepotism" (or tried to but accidentally used "depotism" which isn't even a word), because it was the shortest way for me to say "favorism with a family twist, etc.", nothing really fancy or at least not trying to. When I need to BS essays and papers, I usually use long and mundane adjectives (to waste space). Note: "disadvantageous" is 15 letters long yet I could've used the word "bad" and it would only have been shorter. I guess I just programmed myself this way!</p>

<p>You're right about digressing from the main topic. I was panicking and couldn't think of anything else to write about, so I started writing the first thing that popped into my head.</p>

<p>I got an 11 on this.</p>

<p>I am truly amazed that you got an 11 on that. Not only did you use nonexistent words and made practically all of your examples up, but you contradicted yourself on numerous occassions and made nonsensical analogies, i.e "Bill Gates' history was similar to a goldfish swimming up the Nile river." </p>

<p>Oh yeah, and you didn't even finish writing it.</p>

<p>I got a nine on my essay, and while it was nothing special, atleast it made sense. KRabble, you are my new idol. The next time I take the SAT, I will not write anything of any meaning, but instead use large adjectives and made up examples. I will also be sure not to commit the cardinal sin of exceeding 5 paragraphs, regardless of whether or not I reach a conclusion. </p>

<p>It is clear that whoever is grading these essays does not even make an attempt to read them, but rather, looks merely at the shape of the words on the paper. I would've given you a 7 or 8.</p>

<p>BTW, two questions, KRabble:
1. Was your essay hand-scored?
2. Do you have exceptionally good handwriting?</p>

<p>Just curious.</p>

<p>I have moderately good handing writing. Compared to other boys, I probably have one of the best when writing slowly and carefully, however I wrote quickly for this particular essay. I thought the essay's length was a major reason for the high score. I agree, it shouldn't have gotten more than a 7 (and I truly would have been happy with a 6--this is how I felt right after the test). The length of the essay was 3-4 lines short of 2 complete pages by the way.</p>

<p>Really, everything about this essay was sub-par. The idea, examples, and construction/presentation of each point was not my best at all. I had 1 intro paragraph, 2.5 body paragraphs, and no conclusion.</p>

<p>I believe all essays are hand-scored, since they must be read by person? I did not order any extra services or anything. This was the score that came with the rest of my SAT scores from the Oct. test.</p>

<p>I'd be more than happy to entertain any other questions.</p>

<p>P.S.- The sad, sad metaphor "Bill Gates was like a goldfish.." is just pathetic. It was a blatantly horrible use of Grammatix's method. Not only did I NOT explain my metaphor (or make it clear enough so that it COULD be understood), it was just a terrible metaphor. I'm surprised I got the score I did. Am I one in a million or is this a common score for essays that are almost 2 pages in length?</p>

<p>b u m p</p>

<p>So I see the Grammatix method worked for you</p>

<p>I think ima checkout the grammatix method..I have it, but never looked at it lol. I'm gonna read it and try it on one of the online tests and see what they give me :). I got an 8 last time and didn't finish my essay (fked up my test because I kept trying to go back to it). Also my length was a page and 1/4. I think I'm going to write really big and spread out so it covers 2 pages.</p>