<p>I'm a sophomore honors student at Howard University. I have a 3.82 gpa; I have two scholarships constituting a full ride; I'm in the honors program which offers a lot of perks including $8000 for study abroad and free GRE, LSAT, MCAT prep courses; and I have the best relationships with most of my professors - they've offered me internships and advice about applying for the big scholarships i.e. Truman, Fulbright, and Rhodes.</p>
<p>Long story short, I have enormous opportunities coming from this university, but I've hated every minute that I've spent here. I don't have many friends, I'm not getting the emotional or intellectual stimulation I thought I was going to experience in college, and I just don't feel like I have much in common with most of the people here. It's starting to affect my well-being. I feel like I've done everything I'm supposed to do that a person who has had a hard time adjusting to college should do - I've gotten involved in activities and clubs (debate, student government, an undergraduate society for my major), I've connected with my professors, and I can honestly say that I've tried to make the best out of my situation.</p>
<p>I'm currently filling out transfer apps, but I still feel somewhat torn - I know that filling these apps out is the right thing to do, but when push comes to shove, is it wise for me to throw away all of the opportunities I have here in spite of my personal dissatisfaction?</p>
<p>Ultimately, I have to make this decision for myself by myself, but any advice from the CC community is appreciated.</p>
<p>The way I see it: fit is way more important than prestige. If you feel you have done the best you can to make the best of your situation, then transfer to a school that will make you the most happy. Your happiness is more important than the opportunities available - and to some degree, considering that you seem to be an exceptional student, I’m sure some better doors will open for you elsewhere.</p>
<p>I feel the same way as you do and am also applying as a transfer to several schools. Hopefully, a change of schools will solve our problems.</p>
<p>With your stats you should be able to get to another pretty good school right? Transfer… fit is important. You don’t want to hate 2 more years of your life… or at least study abroad or get AWAY!</p>
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<p>There’s the rub!</p>
<p>If you think you’ll be fine without the individualized attention you’re currently receiving, then go for it. Otherwise, think about this long and hard, because you might be throwing away something you won’t find elsewhere, even if it does “fit” better.</p>
<p>That is precisely the rub! I’m enjoying and appreciating the academic success I’ve realized here, but my friends and family are getting a little worried since I never share anything about my college experience other than how well I’m doing in my classes. I’m at a point where I avoid talking about college to my loved ones because I want to spare them any negativity or indifference about my experience.</p>
<p>I feel like I could stick it out until graduation and continue getting high marks, but at a very high emotional cost. I see that AudreyH, transfers2010, and uyulove believe that fit is very important. What about you, ksarmand? Where does “fit” fit in on your list of what’s important as a college student? The way I see it, I can grit my teeth through Howard but get into a top grad school in the end, or transfer to a school where I can get a more well-rounded experience and possibly forgo some of the benefits I have here.</p>
<p>Since all the previous posts have lauded your intended choice of action, let me offer a contrary opinion.</p>
<p>First of all, there’s no guarantee that you’ll be more “fit” at the school you transfer to.</p>
<p>To me, your situation is like a gamble: right now, you’re in a bad–but tolerable–position. Are you willing to stake everything on something that can possibly be better, or worse?</p>
<p>You said that you’ve tried everything to make the most of your college experience, but none of it has worked. I don’t want to sound impertinent, but I find that hard to believe. Maybe your expectations of the college experience is too high? It may be be possible that you attend a small college and there are few individuals who share your tastes and interests, but among all the different attempts you’ve tried, none of them has even come close so succeeding?</p>
<p>I am not going to call your current train of thought foolish since it is impossible for me to put myself in your shoes, but unless your continuing emotional state will end up affecting your academic learning, I would think twice about transferring. If you feel that you have exhausted all other possibilities and transferring is the only option left, then I will not judge you for doing so.</p>
<p>Hermaphrodite,</p>
<p>I’m not offended at all. Your opinion definitely gives me another angle to consider. I’ve joined clubs which is something that people who are unhappy with their college experience are told to do to make it better. Other than that however, I’m out of ammo when it comes to things I can do to enjoy myself here. I can reach out to people and put myself out there, but I feel like I can’t really change the atmosphere or the sensibility of people here. I guess when I came to college, I wanted to spend four years talking to a lot of smart people about big ideas and what’s going on in the world to put it broadly. There are people like that here, but I feel like they’re hiding. </p>
<p>At other schools like the University of Texas where my friends go and Georgetown, they always have tabling events and seminars about various issues, but that doesn’t really happen here at Howard which is the main reason why I feel isolated. I feel like the only time I really enjoy myself is when I sit down with my professors and talk to them.</p>
<p>Aside from doing internships in Washington and I guess joining more clubs, do you have any further suggestions that might prevent me from crying every night for the next 2.5 years if I stay at Howard?</p>
<p>There’s a reason they call it “sophomore slump.”
Hermaphrodite makes great points. If you stick it out, you have all the advantages of Howard’s tlc and reputation. In the long run, depending on your career ideas, the contacts you make there, among professors and like-minded students, can be very beneficial. In the long run, learning to stick out a great opportunity is worth more than the more immediate pleasures- potential pleasures- of moving on.
Smart students are not always satsfied with the day-to-day life- and miss the full stimulation they hoped for. The reality is that many great colleges are filled with students only just learning their ultimate intellectual powers.<br>
Your huge advantage IS being in DC. Do get off campus, whether it’s for an internship or the stimulation of a museum or lecture. And, isn’t it possible to take a class at GW or ? Can’t you attend guest lectures at Georgetown? I’d say forget extra clubs- unless you find one, or an activity, that intrigues you. Just putting in the motions won’t do it. Instead, expand your horizons to the vibrant city around you. Good Luck.</p>
<p>If you don’t mind me asking, what don’t you like about the social life/non-academic life?</p>
<p>I’m kind of in your position, but I’m a freshman. I love the academics here but the social life sucks. I haven’t made any friends here so I mainly keep to myself. I wanted to transfer so bad the first 2 weeks but I didn’t pursue it. My school is a nice school, the academics are great, the facilities are great but the people suck. I haven’t clicked with anyone and haven’t made any friends. People keep telling me ‘it’s the beginning; it’ll get better’ but I’ve read stories of juniors still feeling the same way they did as a freshman.</p>
<p>My advice would be if you feel you could grin and bare than definitely do so. That’s something I considered when I was thinking about the transfer process, because let’s be realistic: you could transfer into a worse situation than the one you’re in right now and how sucky would that be to throw away a scholarship and 3.82 just to go to a school that serves you worst off?</p>
<p>I am SO sorry you don’t like it there! I loved it, and attended both undergrad and med school, almost debt free there! Different strokes!</p>
<p>@lookingforward: My freshman year, I simply hated being here. This year, things have improved to where I can tolerate it. Coming in, I didn’t realize what a full-time job it would be to find the intellectual stimulation and like-minded folks that I thought would just fall into my lap. So, I guess my heart wants all the things I wanted out of college to magically appear on their own, but my head is telling me that I’m going to have to hustle to really enjoy these four years in the way that I imagined. I think I’ve made some steps toward doing that, but you’re probably right that I can try harder.</p>
<p>@sadcollegestud: What don’t I like about the social life here? Well, for instance, this past weekend I attended the Rally to Restore Sanity. I had a great time, but you would hardly know that it was going on if you stepped on campus. Last week was homecoming week and people were more focused on the parties, parades, step shows, and celebrities on campus. That’s basically the way people operate on this campus. They focus on superficial things that are happening on campus instead of things like the rally or the midterm elections which have far more import than homecoming. It frustrates me to no end that people can’t focus on things outside of themselves here. I have a friend who is a senior at the University of Texas doing a public policy fellowship in Washington and when I hang out with him and his friends, I can have “smart talk” with them and they know what I’m talking about when I mention politics and other stuff I’m interested in. Here at Howard, I feel like I can’t have “smart talk.” I hate to say it, but I feel like I have to dumb myself down in order to fit in or for people to be able to relate to me and I feel like every moment that I’m not in a classroom or in a professor’s office, my brain is dissolving.</p>
<p>@shrinkrap: Yeah, I’ve never met anybody who has said they didn’t enjoy Howard when they were here. It kind of makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me.</p>
<p>“Last week was homecoming week and people were more focused on the parties, parades, step shows, and celebrities on campus. That’s basically the way people operate on this campus. They focus on superficial things that are happening on campus”</p>
<p>Hmmm… I had NO problem with that…although we may have been “edgier” in the 70’s… My D was in DC last weekend for “Keep Fear Alive”. She goes to Duke. FWIW, it took her awhile to find her “peeps” too. And it cost a lot more.</p>
<p>@shrinkrap: Yeah, I don’t have a problem with homecoming per se because it’s fun and that’s what you should do in college, have fun! But, I feel like that’s the only thing people care about here. It’s like people don’t realize that there’s a world outside of Howard. But I guess some people aren’t all that interested in “the world” and that’s fine, but I need people to discuss ideas with, who are passionate about things, and who have things to teach me. I think I wanted a college experience that is very different from the one I was going to get at Howard and I wasn’t prepared for how much that would shock me.</p>
<p>I’m sorry! Hope it works out for you! There are LOTS of other schools in DC. I was in ROTC, and we socialized with kids from all of them.</p>
<p>Dreamer, I am going to go out on a limb here. There are just too many kids in good colleges today…who don’t belong there. They are not creative thinkers who “get” the rush in a great intellectual conversation. Those who need this (and it will continue like this through your adult years) just have to go find it. DC is unusual in that it attracts many delightfully hot-headed, intellectually-oriented, culturally-aware folks. It is in general, what we call a “smart” city. (It’s also far too status-oriented, but we’ll skip that.) Your best option is to use what the city offers. Sometimes, it helps to project ahead: in 4 years or 10 or 20, what will you want to be able to say you gained from your student years in DC? Go for that. I don’t think it’s another club. I don’t necessarily think it’s just about connecting with other intellectually-oriented kids. I do think it may be about your own development- the answer may be in getting off campus. I know it’s a tough situation.</p>
<p>Your story reminds me of the way one of my sons felt all through college. He never loved the place he went and didn’t feel a great “fit” there socially, but he did appreciate the academics. The school was too fraternity and sports oriented for him. He thought about transferring, visited one other campus, but then things would improve a little and he’d change his mind. It was hard but in the end he got what he wanted academically and was much happier after he graduated.</p>
<p>It can’t hurt you to look at other options, including filling out transfer applications. It leaves your options open so you don’t feel desperate and stuck when things are getting you down. It may be that things will improve to the point that you won’t follow through with transferring even after you’ve applied–but at least you’ll have some choices and some basis for comparison.</p>
<p>If you study abroad, which is usually a great experience for most students, you won’t have that much time left when you return and you may find a different social group when you get back.</p>
<p>What you’re going through is hard and I feel for you. It seems adults often tell students how great the college years are (the best four years of your life) but in reality it seems to me that many students find themselves disappointed, confused and not so happy for some of those years–and some will never love the college they go to. I didn’t–my life got a lot better after I graduated.</p>
<p>Wow. This sounds like me. I went to a small LAC for a couple years. There were great professors and great lab and job opportunites, and my GPA was really high there. I was involved with clubs and club leadership and actually had some awesome friends, but I wasn’t happy there. Most people didn’t take academics seriously, and everyone was more interested in everyone elses business than anything else. It was also kind of isolated and not very diverse.</p>
<p>I was okay there, but I decided to go ahead and put in a transfer app to UCB and UCD. I was accepted to both and chose UCD. And my world has opened! I cannot tell you how HAPPY I am here! People are actually interested in things bigger than themselves and work hard. There are so many clubs and I found one right away that fit. It’s so much more diverse and open-minded here and that is SO freeing! Yes, my G.P.A. will probably drop. Yes, there will be more competition for jobs and internships. But it’s totally worth it.</p>
<p>I think you should consider staying. Time goes by so fast and you are doing so well. The scholarship/money issue is huge, it’s hard to know how huge until you don’t have those options anymore. Talk with those professors you are close to. Take an internship.
Take advantage of all the opportunities in the city nearby. Maybe some political or policy work? You’re in the best city in the world. I am sure your profs adore you and anyone you ask for a recommendation will be sad you are thinking of transferring.</p>
<p>Study abroad…maybe for a full year.
Come back and write an amazing, for the ages, senior thesis. </p>
<p>Win the “big scholarships” for grad school. You sound like the type of student who is going to be in school for a while, so consider this your foundation. </p>
<p>College is hard, no doubt. Be glad that academics is not a struggle for you. The days go slowly but the years go quickly. Best wishes.</p>