How am I going to make it through college?

College Life
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<p>As a college student, I would say that the school doesn’t have to “fit” you - you have to go out of your way to personalize your experience and tailor it to what you ultimately want. Quite frankly, I do not believe that I am a “fit” for my current school, as as I very frequently feel like a fish out of water, but I have found or otherwise carved out appropriate niches (and sometimes with brute force :)). Transferring, in my idea, is not the best option; I would recommend finding ways to modify your experience. If your experience is not as well-rounded as you would like, look outside of the school to improve it. </p>

<p>Most people have already said something to a similar effect, but I just felt that it would be impolite to leave your particular question unanswered.</p>

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<p>Just out of curiosity, what race/ethnicity are you?</p>

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<p>@birthofthecool: I’m Black and Filipino.</p>

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<p>I think you’re in a really tough situation here. I remember being totally SICK of my (private) high school by junior year but not wanting to transfer because 1) I was a full scholarship student and 2) the academics were really kickass, as was the prestige of the school. So, what I did was go abroad my senior year. When I returned (senior spring), my outlook was MUCH improved. </p>

<p>I’d recommend staying at Howard for the benefits and studying abroad for a year, if that’s feasible. </p>

<p>p.s. Soooo jealous that you got to attend the Fear/Sanity rally. I’m already accepted to university in DC but I’m taking a gap year (as a result of my study abroad experience!), so I missed out : (</p>

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<p>I second the “study abroad” advice. As an undergrad, I spent a semester in Italy and another in Germany. Loved both, but the semester in Italy was life-changing. I will never, ever forget it.</p>

<p>BTW, I have a good friend who graduated from Howard, and she has a great job in PR. But she sent her own daughter to George Mason, so I’m assuming she wasn’t that sold on Howard.</p>

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<p>There are two ends to this particular board: on one hand, we all have to learn to create a life we love wherever we’re at, at any moment, and let nothing stand in our way. On the other hand, so doing sometimes requires risk, aka giving up the known (Howard) for the unknown (TBA). Just be sure that you apply to schools that ARE a FIT. Confirm this by spending time there, auditing classes and staying a weekend. You’ll know the right place. Then go for it!
Doing well in life usually involves developing a network of peers. If you are only connecting with your professors, you are handicapping your future. The bonds you make within the student body are, to my mind, equally important over time.</p>

<p>Best wishes!</p>

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<p>dreamer, as you said earlier, you alone must make this decision and you have gotten some good input, I think, from differing points of view. The only thing I have to add is that, since you have said you have good relationships with your proffs, have you discussed this with any of them? Perhaps that might help or they might have some suggestions for you.</p>

<p>Also, you noted that you did not want to talk about your college experience with your family because you did not want to bombard them with negativity (my words). I am very, very big on talking things out with family…that is generally the way it works in ours, any way. So, perhaps you might get a different perspective and/or well-deserved encouragement and support if you have a talk with your parents about how you are feeling at this point…</p>

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<p>In a prior thread, you wondered how much of your dissatisfaction at Howard is about your own disappointment in your hs record- how that limited your original college choices.<br>
Now you seem to want to resolve that by moving up to a better name school. If you were my child, I would say: be certain that you are accurately assessing yourself, your motivation, strengths and potential. Yes, I would say that.<br>
It bothers me, as a parent of a freshman and a sophomore, that you publicized your complaints in your first semester of college. And, that you don’t seem to have taken your sense of your strengths outside the campus community. By now, I would think you would have tested cross-registration, interships, etc. Have I missed something?
It also is worrisome that you are willing- in these tough economic times and with more than a full ride- to turn your back on the financial advantage at HU. Many stellar kids, with stellar records over a number of years, settle for a state U or the place that offered the best aid; then, they triumph in that environment, love it or not. </p>

<p>I apologize for the stern words. I am feeling it right now. But, college is not about the “rush” of “intellectually stimulating” conversations. That’s the icing on the cake. It can be seen, at times, as “ego gratification.” College is about evolving into a young adult prepared academically and psychologically for the opportunities and pressures of adult life; and, learning to adapt. (Of course, sure, having the most fun possible, in the process.)</p>

<p>Life is not easy. Jobs will be boring, peers will disappoint you. Will you have the resiliance to triumph? I am sorry HU is the wrong fit, sorry it has devolved from its once great reputation.</p>

<p>All that being said, to me, the only legit reason to transfer is that your major is your intended career path and another school offers better opportunities in said major- and enough financial aid to pay for these opportunities.</p>

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While I agree with your sense of concern/underpinnings of the need to adapt and mature, I would personally disagree with this statement. In fact, I wouldn’t counsel any young person to invest the time or attention in something that did not generate a rush of intellectually stimulating conversations, because to my mind, it is through those conversations that one evolves into a “young adult prepared academically and psychologically to the opportunities and pressures of adult life;”</p>

<p>So I guess my question is whether the poster is CAUSING a rush of intellectually stimulating conversations with others, or waiting to have one :wink: Eg., be the change you seek!</p>

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<p>Lookingforward, I welcome your assessment of my situation, but I think a fair assessment requires a little more context than looking through my old posts. I will not fault you for making assumptions or for being a little skeptical about me or my motivations. Still, I think I need to address directly some of the concerns you have.</p>

<p>First, maybe in my first semester it might have been true that I was simply looking to upgrade. But, I’ve been here for three semesters now; I spent my summer here taking classes and working in one of the university’s programs. I’ve spent enough time interacting with people on this campus to see in a general sense what motivates them. I’ve seen the proposals that the university has made to merge and to cut numerous degree programs including my own. Perhaps things are much different now than they were in the fall of 2009. I did attempt to transfer during my freshman year, but I realized I was doing it for the wrong reasons. Now that I’ve been here for two more semesters (and a summer) and now that some big developments have come up (the cutting of programs), indeed, things are much different than they were in the fall of 2009.</p>

<p>Second, I understand that financially, I may be rocking the boat. But, I’ve done my research, and most of the schools that I would potentially apply to offer generous financial aid, especially to students who come from low-income families like I do. That is not an issue that is lost on me at all. I’m smart enough to know how unwise it would be to leave behind a scholarship if another university isn’t offering me the same money.</p>

<p>To your third statement, sure jobs can be boring and we may not like the people we have to work with. Life sucks sometimes and we can’t always get what we want. I get it. Maybe some people go to college to prepare for how much life will suck, but college is much more than that for me. And sure, maybe I didn’t take sufficient initiative earlier in my tenure, but I’m doing that now. Part of doing that includes applying for internships (which I am doing now) like you mentioned and I think it also has to include considering my transfer options. One year ago, I was in a completely different state of mind and whatever may have been true then is not necessarily true now. Frankly, I think some of the assertions made in your post are somewhat unfair.</p>

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<p>@churchmusicmom: I have a pretty complicated family situation that I don’t really want to share in this forum, so talking to my mom about this is not really an option. I’ve discussed this with my big sister and she says that she would be on board with a transfer if she feels that I’ve thought through every angle and I understand the implications of that decision (mostly financial).</p>

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<p>Wow, Dreamer! Sounds like you have a lot on the ball, and your passion comes through. As I see it, Howard is doing a great job for you. A great direct relationship with your professors is tough to buy. It sounds like you are getting your money’s worth academically but feel that you are not being fulfilled intellectually. You sound like you feel more “grown up” between the ears than your peers and need deeper conversations.</p>

<p>If I were in your shoes, I’m not sure that transferring would be my first option. My first option would be to get off campus and find me a place at one of the many “think tanks” in DC. I wouldn’t even apply for an internship; I would make my own just by banging on doors. Make an adventure out of it. Identify a cause/issue that you feel strongly about, then go to their office. Tell them “I’m a sophomore at Howard. My grades are great, it’s a great school, I like to have fun. But I need more. I need a place where I can do something with people that want to do something and share ideas.” What’s the worst that can happen?</p>

<p>You are in a city where things get done. Thousands of Dreamers have come to Washington, because they were sick of just talking about it. Unfortunately, they’ve become jaded, and they know it. What they need is a jolt, and that is where you fit in. </p>

<p>What Hollywood is to fame-seekers, Washington is to Ideas, Thinkers, and Dreamers. You are RIGHT THERE! Go get it!</p>

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<p>Start here: [Pact</a> - Building Capacity Worldwide](<a href=“http://www.pactworld.org%5DPact”>http://www.pactworld.org)</p>

<p>There’s thousands of 'em in DC. Your objection/cop-out: “I don’t have the time”. Volunteers make their own hours and commitment levels. </p>

<p>If something interests you, you might find that it drags your GPA down a bit. But, as a 20-year recruiter, I will tell you that someone with a 3.4-3.6 who went out and did something for “brain candy” and contacts is highly preferable to someone with a 3.82 who just sat at the computer and expressed frustration, or who ran away. Good luck!</p>

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<p>BTW dreamer, I managed to keep my scholarship, graduate Howard in 3.5 years with a science major, while doing several extracurriculars ( but they were mostly social), almost always with a job or two, and still get into medical school. </p>

<p>I do NOT mean to suggest you are doing anything wrong! I mention this because maybe you can just graduate early.</p>

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<p>Remember, parents on CC, including those with some pro experience, will have a different perspective than current students or hs kids.<br>
The only “context” was gleaned from comments such as, “don’t have many friends…the emotional or intellectual stimulation I thought I was going to experience…don’t feel like I have much in common…” A few examples of friends’ situations seemed like grass-is- greener thinking. So far, you have not pointed to experience with internships or cross-registration. We can only go on what you present.
I do not think college is to “prepare for how much life will suck.” I asked if you will have the resiliance to withstand the affronts that, chances are, will come.<br>
The threat of losing your department is one reason to jump ship; the worse it gets, the more faculty will relocate. That would have made a fascinating thread. In that case, I believe you would have found more universal support for your transfer ideas.</p>

<p>SpacemanEd makes some great comments.</p>

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<p>Year’s ago I also felt like a fish out of water with most undergraduates at a large midwestern state university. It seemed everyone just cared about football and partying outside of school. My salvation was graduate students who are more serious academically. I made friends with them and joined an international student organization which was mostly grad students and welcoming to Americans.</p>

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<p>hey… i have friends at Howard and they say its gr8… maybe u shuld try being a lil more open and converse with other people, like everyone has said, it neva hurts to try!!!</p>

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<p>Well first of all, I don’t think anyone has congratulated you for your 3.8 and close connections with professors despite your unhappiness. That kind of can-do attitude (doing what needs to get done, regardless of whether things are going “perfectly”) and finding meaning and solace in things that will still propel you forward (rather than “checking out” and “giving up”) is going to get you REALLY far in life. Whatever happens, don’t let anyone take that from you.</p>

<p>Secondly, I DID notice more than a hint of unrealistic expectations and grass-is-greener-on-the-other-side mentality. #1, University of Texas is a huge party and sports-obsessed school. Yes, there are intellectual niches, but if you think it’s easy to find your way at a huge state school, then you are thinking way too simplistically. You have to seek out the smart people wherever you go, ESPECIALLY at a large public university. And have fun in any class that is supposed to be discussion-based, when there’s anywhere from 40-400 people in it.</p>

<p>I live in the area and I’m extremely familiar with GTown…while there are lots of really smart people there, overall I find it actually less active politically/intellectually than the school I am at now (University of Maryland-College Park…and now, we don’t have an intellectual “rep”). In any case, we have a lot more rallies, protests, events, and a lot less rich, spoiled people…There’s a quieter, more conservative vibe at GTown than you will find at a large state uni.</p>

<p>Not to paint GTown or UTexas with one brush, because both are academically rigorous, selective and great institutions, but just to say there is a downside to every upside.</p>

<p>And I am not saying I think transferring is a bad idea. Howard U has a REALLY unique atmosphere for various reasons (it’s an HBCU, it’s a city campus, it’s a small campus, blahdeblah). I find it totally logical that you may feel like you don’t fit in there, for various reasons. But make sure that when you are looking at transferring, that you fully consider your other options - the downsides aren’t just the opportunities you are leaving at Howard (and you seem crystal-clear aware of those, so good on you for that). But also, every school has its strenghts and weaknesses, and make sure you will be more happy with the weaknesses at your new school than you are with Howard U’s weaknesses.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

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<p>Hi dreamer2013. </p>

<p>Obviously, you seem to be a very mature young man who thinks straight. That said, I know you are already taking this into consideration:</p>

<ol>
<li>Financial aid</li>
<li>Academic opportunities</li>
</ol>

<p>So I don’t need to go over the whole “If you leave Howard you’ll lose both!” line which is absolutely ■■■■■■■■. I am sorry if I sound so rude but I don’t understand why half the people in this thread have asserted this. I think you’re smart to not transfer to a “lesser” school. </p>

<p>Anyway, I agree with whoever said that YOU have to make your own experience better. However, if you are out there and you are still not getting the intellectual stimulation you thought you were going to, APPLY. You lose LITERALLY NOTHING. Perhaps a few bucks in fees but maybe not even if you’re low income. So apply. You’ll get your decisions along with a financial aid letter. From the school’s website you would have researched their programs so you’re really, really, really, losing nothing. The decisions are not even binding. </p>

<p>The only other advice I have is the following:</p>

<p>You are already at Howard. UT, like a fellow poster put, is a huge party school. OF COURSE there are incredible students and so forth. But it won’t be more “intellectually stimulating” than Howard. So I’d try the top LACs along with the Ivies and even my alma mater MIT. </p>

<p>Good luck! =D</p>

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<p>^ umcp11, I think Gtown depends on what college you apply to. The SFS, where I’m a student, is very politically active and intellectual (for the obvious reasons), while the College is a little less so, and the School of Business even less so (again, for the obvious reasons). SFS is also probably the most politically liberal.</p>

<p>But not to derail the post…dreamer, if you’re confident that you’re a solid candidate for lots of aid at another school, then I agree with the previous poster: you lose nothing by submitting a few transfer applications!</p>