How am I going to make it through college?

College Life
41

<p>Just a few more thoughts, that I haven’t seen mentioned here:</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Learning to relate to all people is a skill that will serve you well in life. And even if what you know of your fellow students isn’t all that interesting to you, I’m sure if you get to know these people at a deeper level, most of them will have something to offer you.</p></li>
<li><p>Attend events, like when the college has speakers on campus or are showing films, such as political documentaries. The turnout for these are usually much smaller than homecoming parades, but you tend to find the students who want to engage intellectually at these. Starting a conversation about the event you just attended, could lead to further intellectual discussion.</p></li>
<li><p>Organize a discussion. Whatever your current interest is, put yourself out there. Hang flyers, post in the student newspaper, etc… announcing that you’ll be meeting on Tuesday night at the Student Union to discuss xy; Open to all interested students/staff. If you can get some funds from your student gov, for concessions - free food may bring in outliers, who want to attend but were maybe a little shy about doing so. Even if only 1 or 2 students show up the first time, now you know 1 or 2 more people on campus interested in that topic.</p></li>
<li><p>There’s nothing wrong with befriending your professors. Sounds like you have some great working relationships with some of yours. Why not extend those relationships beyond the classroom? </p></li>
</ol>

<p>Generally, I’ve found that things don’t always come to you - you have to make your own opportunities.</p>

42

<p>Consider transferring to Georgetown–I did, and it was the best decision I made in my life. Despite what umcp11 says, Georgetown is incredibly diverse in terms of political views, academic/social/cultural opportunities, and postgraduation opportunities (in ways that U. Maryland-College Park can’t compare). Georgetown has a relatively large number of transfer students as well, with a strong transfer orientation program, no fraternity system (which can be limiting for transfer students), and a welcoming community–al of these things make joining the school as a transfer relatively easy and rewarding.</p>

43

<p>“Georgetown is incredibly diverse in terms of political views, academic/social/cultural opportunities, and postgraduation opportunities (in ways that U. Maryland-College Park can’t compare).”</p>

<p>To say that UMaryland undergrad can’t compare to Gtown undergrad in terms of that or postgrad opportunities is 1. snobby (hm, interesting) 2. a blatant lie. </p>

<p>I merely said GTown, like Howard U, is a smaller city campus and it will not be as bustling as a large state uni would (and its events will generally get a smaller turnout, simply by virtue of its size…I say this not based on guesses but as someone who frequently attends events at GTown in the intellectual/activist sphere) - furthermore, plenty of people who attend GTown would characterize it as “rich/snobby” in the same way someone might say Maryland has too much of a party/drinking culture. You seem to fall into the snobby category, but whether or not many of your fellow students do is up for grabs - what matters is that every undergrad student has a different experience at his/her school and every school has perceived (and real) weaknesses to/for that student. I also pointed out the drawbacks of a large state uni scene, which I have enumerated on in other threads as well, so I am not picking on GTown. </p>

<p>My point was merely that every school has its drawbacks - GTown included (though you wouldn’t like to think so, especially if you are paying full freight for it! Hah). It’s no use to anyone to turn a blind eye to them and say GTown has “everything a student would want in terms of everything.” Because quite frankly, no school does. Like I said, UTexas doesn’t have it, and like I’ve said in other threads, Maryland doesn’t have it.</p>

<p>OP should definitely turn in those transfer apps - as I advocated for - but before making a final decision, OP should remember that it is not just Howard that is imperfect.</p>

44

<p>I don’t think dreamer ever really wanted to attend an HBCU. Like dreamer, my poor high school record limited my choices. I graduated from high school with a GPA just below 2.0. My inner city public school just moved people through no matter their GPA. I had 46 classmates who graduated with GPAs lower than mine. I attended an HBCU freshman year because it was the only college that would accept me. In high school, I never studied, never did homework, and cut half my classes. But my SAT scores put me in the 99th percentile for students at that university. Obviously I wasn’t dumb. I was unmotivated. I took all loans to finance my entire freshman year. It was a lot cheaper back then. </p>

<p>Anyway, my freshman year GPA was 3.96. I had one grade below an “A.” I admit to having fun at the school - I made some friends and learned to play typical African American card games like Bid Whist and Spades - but the culture shock of being in the South was a bit too much (this was the 70s). I was chastised from all sides for taking a white girl, from Alabama no less, out on a harmless date (she attended a nearby “white” college). I wasn’t used to Southern cultural ways and didn’t much care for the Balkanized thinking (I’d never heard of Emmit Till until much later). I’d dated (and more) a number of white girls growing up in the Northeast. It was rarely a “big deal” except with the occasional uptight parent (their’s not mine). I also “got together” with a black girl at my HBCU. I didn’t reject my own. I was just more open-minded than most. Although the primary reason I transferred was because I thought the university was too easy. I didn’t feel challenged.</p>

<p>Even though I made friends, I never felt like I completely fit in with the culture, so I transferred after my freshman year to a nearly all-white private university in New York, where I did almost as well academically. I realized I was just a better student than I’d been in high school, that my freshman year HBCU was not inferior. Admittedly, I found that I fit in even less at the college in New York City, despite the fact that it was in my geographic and social “backyard.” In some ways, I wished I’d stayed at my first college. So other posters are correct: there is no guarantee that you will “fit in” any better at another college. But if your heart is not in an HBCU - or Howard specifically -for all the right reasons, you may always be unhappy there.</p>

<p>You have a very difficult decision to make. Think long and hard about what you want out of college. Do you want to transfer because your heart was never in Howard in the first place? Is it because you are biracial and don’t feel completely comfortable in the environment? If you truly feel the university offers nothing that you want, you should probably leave. Just be aware that your next stop might be even less fulfilling.</p>

45

<p>^Wonder if we crossed paths… </p>

<p>I went to Albert Einstein for my residency and found a fine “fit” there too. Dated a Jewish guy at Howard (in addition to “my own”), and a Jamaican guy at Einstein…</p>

<p>If you’re going to be unhappy, might as well be it without debt.</p>

46

<p>follow your heart and transfer to a university where you’re goin to be happy because you only live once</p>

47

<p>You should absolutely transfer. You don’t need other people to tell you that “fit” is important! At the very least you should apply for transfer and visit some schools to see if you think you’d be happier at them.</p>

48

<p>Plainsman,</p>

<p>You’ve helped me see how I’ve handicapped the conversation in this thread by leaving out some details. I was hoping to leave these details, some of them quite personal, out of this conversation, but it seems to me that they are necessary at this point.</p>

<ol>
<li><p>I actually did want to go to an HBCU when I applied to colleges my senior year. Like you, I did not think I could gain admission to the schools I really wanted to attend (Yale, Princeton, UVA, and UT), so I opted to apply to an HBCU for two primary reasons: (a) I never knew my father who passed away when I was 15, so I wanted to come to Howard to discover or at least feel more comfortable and in touch with the part of me that is African-American and (b) I saw that Howard was one of the top HBCUs and had a reputation as the premier institution for Black intellectuals.</p></li>
<li><p>Regarding the question of Do I feel comfortable in the environment here, the answer is yes and no. </p></li>
</ol>

<p>Yes because I feel very comfortable being around Black people as a result of my time here. I didn’t get much exposure to Black people attending a mostly white Catholic school and being raised by my Filipino mother. Coming to Howard has helped me to understand what it means to be Black, the implications of my biracial ethnicity, and it’s helped me feel grounded in the African-American intellectual and historical legacy. </p>

<p>No because I’m starting to realize that yes, I found what I came to Howard looking for: groundedness in my Black identity. But now that I’ve found that, I’m realizing that I want more out of my college experience. My best friend is an aerospace engineering major at the University of Texas. He loves physics and he takes every opportunity to share with me the things he learns in class and books about string theory that he reads for pleasure among other things. I’d like to go to a school where there are more people like that. Sure, no matter where I go to school, I can’t expect every one of my peers to have that mentality. It is very clear to me that there is no college that I will love 100%. But, I know that there are schools where there is an ethos of personal, spiritual, intellectual, and emotional discovery and illumination that drives people to do the things they do. Where students learn from each other as much as they learn in the classroom (no matter how pollyannaish that might sound). Howard is a wonderful school that has provided me so many opportunities, but I have grown since the time I applied to Howard back in the fall of 2008. The person I am now simply wants an experience that cannot be provided by Howard.</p>

<ol>
<li><p>I’m a minority in every sense of the word on this campus. I’m biracial, I’m gay, I’m Catholic, and intellectual. I’ve found Howard to be not particularly inviting of gays or Catholics or intellectuals, and I think there are other schools that would allow me the breathing room I need to be who I am.</p></li>
<li><p>Howard is currently undergoing an academic review of all of it’s programs. At least 20 programs are being considered for mergers or dissolution. The Classics department, my major, is one of those being considered for a merger. I’m not sure how I’m going to present a “Philosphy, Classical Civilization, and Religion” degree to grad schools and employers. The uncertainty caused by this situation concerns me and I think it’s wise to keep my options open and look for schools that are more committed to a liberal education than Howard seems to be at the moment.</p></li>
<li><p>I am very aware that I don’t really have to worry about my money when it comes to my choice. I am extraordinarily blessed that money is not even a major consideration in my decision because there are merit scholarships and grants for high-achieving students from low-income families like myself. For that reason, I feel like having a college experience that revolves around more than just getting a degree is not too much to ask for. I empathize with those who are limited in their choices because they’re not getting the aid that they need, but that’s not my situation so it’s not fair to compare mine to someone who does have to consider the financial aspect of an education first when they make their choices.</p></li>
</ol>

<p>I am certainly taking away the advice I’ve been given here to do a better job of seizing the initiative and making my experience what I want it to be. I find Spacemaned’s advice and link to the Pact organization particularly helpful and I appreciate it. Although I’m still somewhat unsure about the wisdom of transferring, I think I owe it to myself after all that I’ve been through to at the very least provide myself with the choice of staying at Howard or going elsewhere to find my happiness and fulfillment.</p>

49

<p>Dreamer, I know it’s hard to reveal more, but it makes a difference. I am more inclined now to say, go for it. Why? Now, your desire to leaves makes complete sense and it is clear you have consdidered your experience and fit from several angles. With quite some maturity.
Your department’s jeopardy is a serious consideration. I saw some of the reaction from anthro- while you could use this as justification for maxing out your cross-registration, that’s not perfect and probably has limits. If you wish to pursue classics in grad school, the strength of your program now, the U’s committment to it, can be important.</p>

<p>Posting in a forum is tricky- we have the chance to say what we will, but what we say often is the only perception other have of us. I think you see that now. Best of luck.</p>

50

<p>Dreamer, you mentioned that you are having difficulty finding like-minded students. All this time you have been seeking them out - why not have them come to you? You mentioned you have a few intellectual friends, perhaps you could get them together and begin a political group?</p>

<p>But if you are looking for more ways to reach out, you could always start with the things that make you a unique and interesting person. Politics seems like something that really interests you. I think you should consider sitting in on some of the political classes your school has to offer, and looking for students that speak out and seem interesting to talk with. </p>

<p>Just a few suggestions. :)</p>

51

<p>I also advocate another position…if you aren’t already dead-set on transferring, why not try to reach out and get interested in other things? Not that you haven’t, but without knowing your words make it seem like you are dead set on this intellectual conversation thing without making inroads into trying to celebrate the things that the students around you find interesting, like Homecoming and such. I went to an HBCU as well (Spelman) and Homecoming was a huge thing, but Howard’s homecoming was a HUUUUUUGE thing. There were buses that student groups chartered to go from Atlanta to DC so that we could go to Howard’s homecoming, lol. (There was a lot of this HBCU students going to other HBCUs’ homecomings, but Howard’s was like the Holy Grail.) Of course they are more focused on their own homecoming than the rally - I would expect that at the vast majority of universities, prestigious or not.</p>

<p>I mean perhaps you have absolutely zero interest in the party atmosphere and homecoming events and things like that. But if you are even a little interested, maybe try to get as into it as everyone else seems to be? You might be surprised, and realize that you really love it and that it enriches your experiences AND you might find the people you’re looking for staffing the homecoming tables. I found that the women at Spelman were a very well-rounded group; the ones who were really interested in partying and having a good time weren’t necessarily unintellectual. They could have a great deep conversation, and it showed in classes and sometimes out of class. But for the most part we just wanted to have fun out of class.</p>

<p>AS for #4, Howard is not the only place doing this. Many universities are combining or eliminating humanities departments because they don’t bring in as much money as science departments, and therefore are deemed unnecessary or extraneous. It’s really sad. But you won’t necessarily escape it at another university - it’s an industry wide trend partially borne by the recession.</p>

<p>For #5 - you do realize that scholarships are very limited for transfer students, even if you are a low-income ethnic minority student, right? I don’t know whether the scholarships you have are portable - if they are, that’s great. But if they aren’t, then please do keep in mind that it’s a LOT harder to get a scholarship (even with your low income and ethnic minority status) as a transfer student.</p>

52

<p>certainly apply
think about the future
about the hard time at univ.talk to people maybe ur first impression is wrong maybe there students with whom u share same interest u r at Harvard. Every kid in thw world dream study there
and good way to be away from that thoughtd that u r alone just keep youself busy</p>

53

<p>dreamer2013 - did you take your user-name because you are asleep? If so, it is apt. If not, it is because you are chasing something that one must be asleep to believe. Most of this nonsense about college experiences are taurus faeces spun by marketing departments and Hollywood. This is not pleasure, this is a business: a transaction like any other. You will be making an investment that will pay dividends for some time to come, so chose wisely.</p>

<p>Get the money; get the scholarships; college is not the entire world. If you have not found friends on campus, look off-campus; it is not as if people who have graduated sit at home and twiddle their thumbs from five to nine. I have a few friends twice my age, and one is a meaner drunk than I.</p>

54

<p>

I think this is a legitimate reason. While classics departments are being slashed right and left, many universities have maintained their support of the humanities. </p>

<p>If you are serious about classics (i.e. intending to do graduate work), I would advise getting out of DC altogether. Georgetown has a decidedly mediocre program, and GWU isn’t that great for it either. Classics is not like biology or English; after a handful of good programs, the quality of departments drops precipitously. </p>

<p>If you intend to do something like law, the selection of suitable colleges is obviously much wider.</p>

<p>

As someone who fits three of those descriptors, I think this is also a perfectly legitimate reason. I’ve attended both a school that was incredibly accepting of gay and Catholic students and a school that was overtly homophobic and staunchly evangelical/Baptist – quite a difference, I can assure you! </p>

<p>Again, the DC area in general may not be the best for that…I had an LGBT student at one DC college tell me flat out not to apply, as in addition to the prevailing right-of-center atmosphere on campus, the political aspirations of many students prevented them from being out or actively involved in the gay community. Things may’ve changed in the last couple years, I suppose; certainly American has a good reputation.</p>

<p>

Merit scholarships, certainly. Many colleges have excellent financial aid for transfers, however. A full ride may not be offered, of course, but there are schools that could be affordable. I don’t think finances need be a factor at this point – why not apply and then evaluate packages if accepted? It’s not like Howard will give him the boot if accepted elsewhere.</p>

<p>

There you go, then. I don’t often recommend transferring, as I think too many people reject their schools before they get a chance to find their niches, but I think it makes a great deal of sense in your case.</p>

55

<p>As far as I can see, you’ve had some great feedback on this thread. Get off campus, study abroad, go ahead and check out other schools (I’d suggest University of Chicago as a place that still takes the Classics seriously), look before you leap, etc.</p>

<p>There is only one writer on this thread who knows what’s really in your heart. The rest of us are on the outside trying to look in. Most are taking you at your word about the reasons you want to transfer. They are good reasons; but then, you are obviously an intelligent young man and whether you present reasons or rationalizations, they are bound to be good.</p>

<p>Let me ask questions the answers to which I haven’t a clue.</p>

<p>As a gay, Catholic, mixed-race, fatherless young man who can’t discuss these things with his mother, are you deeply lonely? I’m not joking. Have you been lonely since before you entered Howard? Is the self-actualization, the intellectual stimulation and camaraderie you seek in the college experience part of an effort to deal with loneliness? Is the inability of others you’ve met at Howard, your professors, your debate team compatriots, your fellow students in class and in clubs - all of them - is their inability to connect in a way that satisfies your expectation, your hopes, a result of their nature or of yours?</p>

<p>Please, don’t mistake me. I have no answers. I am not making accusations. I have no idea who you really are or what ambitions or fears or curiosity or drives are contesting within you. I can only steer my own life by my own lights, but 60 years of experience has led me to conclude that such internal conflict exists inside almost all of us. From what you’ve shared about your life on this thread, I’d guess it also exists inside you.</p>

<p>If it’s accurate to say that your dissatisfaction with Howard actually stems from the students, faculty, and administrative policies of the school, then the question isn’t whether or not you should go. The question is where you should go.</p>

<p>On the other hand, if your dissatisfaction with Howard stems from a more fundamental issue that has roots deep in your life, then the question takes on even grater importance than this decision, and you’ll probably need more help to answer it than anyone writing on this thread can give you.</p>

<p>And now, at the risk of being impertinent and intrusive, I have one last thought.</p>

<p>It seems to me you have an opportunity here to do something profound in your life. You have made it clear there is a clash of culture and values between yourself and the general population of your school. Rather than trying to escape that experience, perhaps you should consider embracing it. I don’t mean something as banal as “learn to get along with others who are different from you”. I mean make studying that experience a personal research project, one that lasts throughout your college career.</p>

<p>Consider that the conflict between an individual and their society is one of the most pervasive themes in literature and in life. Who is the individual? You are. So who is dreamer2013? Dive deep into the question. And who are they? All of them. They aren’t all the same. Learn what you can. Watch them, talk to them. Interview them with a microphone and recorder. You’d be astounded the things people will tell you if they take you seriously and if you listen and ask good questions. </p>

<p>And read. Socrates, Jesus…you’re the Classical scholar, you find them. And don’t overlook the modern classics. Think Fredrick Douglass, Emma Goldman, Virginia Wolfe, James Baldwin, Truman Capote, the Beats, Martin Luther King. </p>

<p>And while you’re at it, don’t lose your sense of humor. There is great power and insight and intelligence in good humor. Try George Bernard Shaw’s “Mrs. Warren’s Profession” or “Major Barbara” if you want a look at conventional thinking through a revolutionary humorist’s eye. And when you’re done with that, learn what goes on in the human mind when people think. There’s cognitive psychology, sociology, and neurobiology. Read Steven Pinker’s “The Stuff of Thought” and George Lakoff’s “Don’t Think of an Elephant”.</p>

<p>You don’t have to be at Howard to do this. You don’t really have to be in college, although free access to a good library is one of the great pleasures and a tremendous asset in life. (The internet is good for some things, but not for everything, Google and CC notwithstanding.)</p>

<p>So what’s the point? The point is that you will be examining your life and your own thinking in the context of the lives and the thoughts of the other people around you. It will give you a topic and a purpose when you wish to make contact with those people and it may offer a path toward the intellectual and personal relationships you are trying to establish. And it will give you an intellectual foundation and practical experience in dealing with one of the primary questions in human life: who am I and where do I fit in society?</p>

<p>Thus concludes my impertinent and likely irrelevant post. </p>

<p>Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best.</p>

56

<p>There is no reason to stay at a school that makes you so unhappy. I have a feeling that if you were at a more intellectually stimulating and accepting place you would realize what wasn’t right at Howard. By all means, explore your options. Perhaps a smaller LAC where you have contact with professors and where people are accepting of who you are (Oberlin, Wesleyan, Vassar come to mind although I’m not sure about their Classics programs) would give you the experience you’re seeking. You are entitled to a happy, enriching college experience. Best of luck!</p>

57

<p>I just want to pause for a second and say that the feedback on this thread has been tremendous and I appreciate every one who has taken time from their day(s) to help me figure out what I want to do with my life at this particular moment in time. Among the last slew of responses I’ve gotten, I’d like to acknowledge lookingforward and warblersrule for your help.</p>

<p>To Woods5440, inner conflict and outer conflict will certainly make for a powerful discussion and it’s one that I’d love to have with you, but in this thread, I’d like to stick to the syllabus and keep the discussion focused on transferring and options for improving my lot here in Washington.</p>

<p>I wanted to let everyone know that I’ve set a few things in motion:</p>

<p>(1) I’m applying for a White House internship and I’m about to approach my professors about drafting letters that internship as well as one with the Clinton Foundation in Harlem.</p>

<p>(2) This week, I’m meeting with the director of the study abroad program at Howard. I’m considering programs in China, Morocco, Istanbul, and I’m particularly intrigued by the idea of doing a program in India for the fall 2011 semester.</p>

<p>(3) I began transfer applications to a number of schools including Yale, Penn, Columbia, UT-Austin, and UVA among them, and I’m continuing to make progress on those.</p>

<p>Feel free to offer more feedback if you please and I really thank all of you for how thoughtful you’ve all been in your responses. You’ve helped me think about things that I wouldn’t have on my own and it’s helped my decision-making process in ways I can’t explain.</p>

58

<p>This all sounds like melodramatic hooey.</p>

59

<p>^ Please. don’t be an a-hole.</p>

60

<p>An HBCU could be a great advantage to you, especially since you’re doing good there. Yeah I go to a school that I hate but I’m just going to have to suck it up. A couple years down the line when I’m in the grad school of my dreams, it’ll just look like something I had to get across to reach my ultimate goal. Stay put! Good luck.</p>