<p>Shawbridge - I wanted to thank you for bringing up the escape route option. That’s seeming to be the deciding factor - the fact that School B - with the near free ride - seems to offer a better place from which to see the horizon of change. He’s not happy with the school - told me that he would not be happy to say he attends there - but he will be happy with the professors, will be happy with the zero debt and monies for ‘other things’ like study abroad summers, and no need to work to pay the gap between the scholarship at school A and his parents’ contribution to the cost. At school B, there is no gap - no debt. </p>
<p>Still seems sad to me to have him starting college with the plan to leave the place he will begin at…</p>
<p>peppermintlounge, I sympathize. One thing to think about is that every choice we make does two critical things for us (more probably, but let’s focus on two): </p>
<ol>
<li> What do we get out of the process (classes, skills, ways of thinking, social skills, etc., other people’s opinions); and</li>
<li> A lottery of opportunities that may be affected by the reputation or prestige of the place.</li>
</ol>
<p>Is he concerned about other people looking down on the school or does he think it will be hard to take the next step?</p>
<p>Closure here: I did a bit of financial realism with S. Pointed out the $10K difference to me in the two schools (over 4 years). Asked him to let me know if the more expensive school was really what he wanted. Case closed.</p>
<p>I too used the $$ argument with DS. He gets that - he’s more frugal than most kids his age — as to shawbridge’s comments :</p>
<p>He sees the student body at the school as frat types (please do not take offense - simply not what he’s like) and does not see himself like them. He’s also down on the location. On the plus side, he’s very thrilled with the professors he’s met… - and he will find a peer-group…He’s just like most other 17 year olds - he can only see the trees not the forest.</p>
<p>peppermintlounge
I hope you can continue to emphasize to your son the added value of engaged professors. If he is clear and focused about his academic interests, and he’s chosen a place with access to engaged faculty, that is a very mature decision, for very mature reasons. (There are lots of hidden gems of programs and faculty in lots of superficially unlikely places.) Sounds like he might have found one of those programs, and if so, it’s probably known to those “in the know” in the subject area. And that counts! Maybe thinking about it that way will help minimize his disappointment about other aspects.
Congrats and good luck to him!</p>