<p>I am thrilled at my son's success in the college application process so far. He has been accepted by all 6 of his EA schools, ranging from relatively small LACs up to very large Flagship State Universities. He has heard from 3 of these schools about merit aid and has received sizeable awards from each which will put them within our planned college budget. I expect to receive similar news at his remaining schools.</p>
<p>He has applied to 5 additional schools RD and we expect to hear positicve news from each based upon his grades/SATs and each schools past acceptance data.</p>
<p>The problem is that he has absolutely no idea how to prioritize his school choices. There is not one school at the top of his list. In fact, he can't even begin to articulate if there are any groupings within his 11 schools. I've not been pressuring him to make a choice, especially with college decisions and financial aid packages still to come, but he is getting frustrated with himself and his inability to figure out where he wants to go. This is exacerbated somewhat by the fact that his best friends applied to and were accepted at their top choice schools ED so they already know where they will be attending next year.</p>
<p>Any suggestions to help him with his decision?</p>
<p>Have him make a list of pros and cons for each school. If he writes things down on paper, then he can move the paper around to put his schools in order. Things to put on the pro or con list would be: size of school, location of school (both in relation to where it is from home and if it is rural/urban, and if it is in a nice or not so nice part of town). </p>
<p>Also, have him put the cost of living into either the pro or con side. He is going to need things like haircuts and want to get pizza with buddies sometimes.</p>
<p>Just brainstorm ideas that are important to him or you and then decide about each school if that is a pro or con.</p>
<p>He will have a better idea if he likes a school if he has visited it. If it is too expensive for you to afford to go visit, then transportations costs for vacations, breaks, etc should go in the con list for that school.</p>
<p>Our daughter was only choosing between two schools. We gave her a deadline of April 29 to make a decision. She made the decision on that day…and we sent a deposit. We answered questions if she asked them, but other than that…it was up to her to make a choice. She did visit both schools again as an accepted student.</p>
<p>I agree with bajamm have him make a list of pros and cons for each school. Also discuss things such as how far away from home does he want to be, best school for his intended major. </p>
<p>Maybe narrow down the list and revisit those campuses?</p>
<p>I was going to suggest you drop the subject for a while. Tell him to think about other things–the holidays, enjoying his senior year, . . . He really does have four months to figure it all out. Most kids do not know where they’ll be going next year but they all manage to make a decision by May 1st.</p>
<p>My D was like that last year - she didn’t have a clear cut front runner. She applied to 5 schools and at the time said the worst thing that could happen would be to not get into any of them (not really possible as 3 of them were safeties), and the second worst thing would be to get into all of them, which is what happened. </p>
<p>I tried to remain fairly neutral, although I’m pretty sure she knew which school I preferred. H preferred a different school, and she probably knew which one that was as well. But we gave her pros and cons for each school and tried to get her to talk about the things she liked and didn’t like at each school so we could help her extrapolate to the others. While the decision is the student’s, I think parents can be helpful in the process. There were things D thought were a big deal that we knew from experience would not be, and things she wasn’t thinking of that were a big deal and we had to point out to her. She heard from the 3 safeties by October and had ruled two out by the time she heard from the other 2 in December. She was forced to make a decision in March because of a housing deposit; we had made one in October and weren’t willing to make another without a decision being made. I think forcing the decision at that point (she’d had all her results for a few months by then) was good as it put her out of her misery - having to make a decision weighed heavy on her mind.</p>
<p>I think she was very conflicted throughout the process, and it was made worse because most of her friends had favorites and “dream” schools, whereas she did not. Fast forward to this year and she’s delighted with her choice. Somehow even the kids who are very undecided along the way seem to make good choices for themselves.</p>
<p>Have the schools already been screened by basic characteristics like quality degree programs in his intended or possible major(s) and suitable other offerings in his other academic interests?</p>
<p>Visit if you can! I didn’t know where I wanted to go until I visited the schools I got accepted at. On the flight home I already know where I wanted to go as sent my deposit the next day. If you can’t visit, try looking up the schools on YouTube. I know it sounds weird but it can give you a good feel of what it’s like there.</p>
<p>Agree-- definitely visit if he can!! ANd are you expecting to be able to compare packages? Does he want big/small/urban/rural/with vs without greek life or sports scene, etc. These are things to start with. How about his major and the reputation of the dept, number of required/core courses, etc</p>
<p>A good way to help sort an issue like this is to “try on” each option. Each day he can pretend like he’s made up his mind to attend a different university. He can think about it all day and see how he feels. What is he looking forward to? Any concerns? He can make notes each night and compare the notes at the end of his experiment.</p>
<p>One thing that helped our son decide is a decision we, his parent, made. We told him that if he kept his undergrad budget under X amount of dollars a year, then down the line we’d help him with graduate school. Perhaps cost is something you could consider and see what you are willing to do/not do.</p>
<p>What a wonderful problem to have! As your S is making his lists of pros/cons, separating fact from emotion and then putting them back together…please remember to include ease of travel.</p>
<p>A few additional issues he might want to think about, besides those in bajaam’s post:</p>
<ol>
<li>For each college, do most of the students live on campus (or in nearby off-campus housing) or commute? Do many go home for the weekends, or is that uncommon? If it’s a campus where most people start out living in the dorms, do they stay there all four years, or do most move off campus after a year or two? Is on-campus housing guaranteed for all four years? Is it required?</li>
</ol>
<p>There is no right or wrong answer to any of these questions, but if your son finds that his housing plans don’t match well with what most students at a particular school do, that could be a big black X on the “con” side of the chart. </p>
<ol>
<li><p>Besides his major, what will the rest of your son’s schedule look like? Will he get credit for his AP courses (if he does well on the AP tests) or not? Does he care? (Some students very much want to get AP credit or at least advanced placement so that they have more freedom in their schedules. Others don’t consider this important.) What courses will he have to take to meet general education requirements? Is there a predetermined core curriculum, or are there many choices? Does he care?</p></li>
<li><p>Is there a strong Greek (fraternity/sorority) presence on the campus, and how does your son feel about that? Some students are attracted to Greek life, while others are repelled by it. It’s nice to be on a campus where substantial numbers of people feel the same way you do about the Greek system.</p></li>
<li><p>You say that your son has been offered some merit scholarships. Students who receive merit scholarships tend to be more qualified than the average student and therefore also may be invited into honors programs, if the college has any. Was he invited into any honors programs? If he was, does he like them? What are the requirements of the honors program? What are the perks? If the school has an honors program and he wasn’t invited into it or does not like it, that might be a “con.”</p></li>
<li><p>If there are any extracurricular activities that he particularly wants to participate in, will he be able to? Is the activity available? Is it open to all comers, or is it competitive? If it’s competitive, how good are his chances? (It may seem counterintuitive, but if you are a non-major who wants to act in plays or perform in musical ensembles, you may be better off at a college that does NOT have a large or highly ranked theater or music major. You are more likely to be successful at auditions if you’re not competing with people with professional-level qualifications.)</p></li>
<li><p>If your son has a strong interest in participating in religious groups or other special interest groups (e.g., LGBT), what are the opportunities like on each campus? (There’s plenty of time to contact the relevant campus organizations before decision time comes to help find out about this.)</p></li>
</ol>
<p>JM: the pros & cons are a great starting point. A student last year made a rubric of a number of items that were important to her in a college. Then she weighted them. And then she ranked the colleges she’d been accepted to on each item in the rubric & applied the weighting. Seemed to help make what seems to be a subjective process a little more objective. It may be too early for that now, but something to keep in mind for the Spring. </p>
<p>We may have a similar issue here in the spring. Items I’d expect my D to have on her rubric include:</p>
<p>location
ease of travel home
weather
major/department class offerings
cost (would be weighted more heavily IMO)
scholarships
student population size
dorm options
internship opportunities
study abroad programs
honors program benefits/options
AP credit policies</p>
<p>I’m sure other students/families would have other items on their list.</p>