<p>Thanks, archiemom. And, I just re-read BaystateNutmeg’s post & realized she’d answered the shipping question, too! Sorry! Makes sense to buy the Bed & Bath type stuff there. And, I guess they’ll have all the (lovely) dorm furniture, already!!</p>
<p>We saw “My Cousin Vinny” a few weeks ago (kids going from NYC to LA to attend UCLA, get into legal trouble in AL). I said to son: that could be you! (minus the legal trouble). The ‘road trip’ idea sounds entertaining, but likely far from practical…</p>
<p>Moving D1 into her distant dorm was not a big deal - most of what she brought was clothes (and most of those were sweats). BBB and Target filled in the rest of her needs. Moving her into an unfurnished off campus apartment was another story. Had to buy (and assemble) bed, cheapo furniture and bookcases from Staples, etc, kitchen stuff from Target, etc. Fortunately D’s roomates were locals - they came up with couches, kitchen tables, etc. Still, not too daunting, when we weren’t yelling at each other. And, as noted, checking out a new city is fun, especially when it is energized by the onslaught of incoming students.</p>
<p>We flew into a bigger airport that first trip, borrowed a car from a relative (!), filled the back seat at Target and drove to campus. She shivered until Thanksgiving, when I brought her warmer clothes to the place we all spent the holiday. It was very do-able. She stored boxes in the storage room at her freshman dorm, which was across the street from her sophomore dorm. Next year, into an unfurnished house so things will get more interesting…</p>
<p>Off campus was definitely more interesting, but do-able. Again, summer storage really helps, and if the school provides summer storage, that’s great. </p>
<p>I found it much easier to just buy everything near the school prior to freshman move-in. </p>
<p>S has friends who have driven from the Northeast to Texas so they could have their cars there. They tend to find friends to do the drive with them. </p>
<p>The advantage of a far away school: friends all over the country!</p>
<p>D is considering one school that is 45 minutes away by car, and the other is 3.5 hours away by car or by Amtrak. Cost of Amtrak R/T is $100 or less.</p>
<p>It didn’t matter to me so much when she was applying, but it matters a lot to me now. I am trying to pretend it doesn’t matter so she doesn’t get the idea that I am having trouble letting go of my little pal. 'Cause I most definitely am!</p>
<p>Haven’t read through the entire thread so forgive me if I repeat someone. I have had 3 children in college–none selected schools more than 4 hours by car. With the first two kids, all was fine and they never seemed to come home except for school holidays. With the 3rd child, I have been so glad that he chose a school within a 3 hour drive–since he started college he has had two emergency surgeries and just recently was taken to ER with very scary symptoms. I am glad I can get into a car and drive to where he is.</p>
<p>So I guess my answer is that if all goes well, distance doesn’t matter–but if there are emergencies or other problems I can imagine that long distances would be a great problem.</p>
<p>Thanks for sharing, mkm. That’s scary, hope your son is okay! Guess that’s one of those variables you can’t control–just hope it doesn’t happen…</p>
<p>I’ll add (and probably repeat what I’ve posted on other threads previously) that this school year S1 flew cross-country back to school for his sophomore year without housing (having opted out of the dorm in favor of off-campus apartment that fell through over the summer). He returned with only one small bag of clothes (and afore-mentioned juggling equipment) knowing that he’d be bunking on friends’ sofas for a while.</p>
<p>When he and his two housemates finally found a house to rent, they furnished it over time by shopping Goodwill, fraternity off-casts and WalMart. We did send him $$ to buy a good mattress and bed frame. By the time we visited last Feb, they had settled in, purchased small appliances and outfitted the house without any help from parents. Necessity really is the mother of invention.</p>
<p>I haven’t read the whole thread either but I did see a posting on the first page that I am worried about. My daughter has three choices - one across the country, one a few hours flight time away, and one 1 1/2 hour drive. I really don’t mind losing her for 4 years no matter which she chooses but I feel if she goes out to LA, she’s not coming back for at least 10 years (or ever) and that’s a little hard for me. My whole family (all my mothers children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren) live in the NY metro area and see each other way too much but we like it like that. Don’t know how it will be if she’s not a part of it. On the other hand, she’s not on this planet to please me! I won’t make it part of the decision but I’m pretty sure she will take it into account.</p>
<p>I second what people have been saying about the distance/accessibility to an airport from the university is extremely important. For my freshman year, I went to a school 6 hours by car away from my hometown. It was one hour away from a major airport which provided direct flights to my hometown, however, it was a HUGE pain to get rides to the airport. I now go to a school, which is about 7.5 hours from my hometown, but has university shuttles to the closest major airport, which makes things much easier.</p>
<p>Just to revive this thread for a sec as we get down to the decision-wire & son is wavering between a bunch of schools…</p>
<p>Does anyone see a real difference between 1) a school accessed only by plane (e.g. a 23+ hour car ride) and a school with a 2) one day car ride (e.g. 7-12 hours)? </p>
<p>Somehow, knowing that – if I had to, or son wanted to – he/we could drive 8, even 13 hours & be home seems so much more accessible than a place that is reasonably only accessible by plane (such as TX to NJ). It would be cheaper, too, I think (the long-drive option). </p>
<p>Then again, I’ve talked to people who went to school 6 hours away & only came home 4 times during the school year, so maybe it really doesn’t make any practical difference and this is some sort of ‘excessive need for access by mom’ that should be thrown out of a college-selection equation!</p>
<p>Although, son has recently expressed a passing thought that “TX is really far from NJ” – even though it’s been his top choice school for months.</p>
<p>Any thoughts on the distance factor (car v plane) would be much appreciated, as our heads spin w/last minute assessments…</p>
<p>I have been there with different kids.
IMO, the #of visits matters for the first 1-1.5 yrs.
If the drive is 7-12 hours, chances are there will be a hotel stay before returning the next day. That and gas costs puts a plane ride for one in the ball park, especially if you charge everything and use FF miles for the flights.
So I vote for where the kid is happiest.</p>
<p>In response to the ‘if I have to get there in an emergency’ train of thought: It would be safer for me to be a passenger than a driver in a true emergency.</p>
<p>I don’t know for sure but even if she is 3 hrs away, I doubt my D would come home more than 4 times during the school year.</p>
<p>Personally if all things were equal I would favor the place that had more convenient and cheaper flight options. I would rather not have my D driving for 8-12 hrs (each way), potentially in bad weather. More opportunities for me to worry.</p>
<p>I guess I was just figuring, if, say, mom, dad, son & daughter pile into car to drop son off at far-away school – it’s cheaper than plane tix for 4 at $300 a ticket.</p>
<p>However, true that envisioning a kid drive 12+ for a home-visit (esp if already sleep-deprived from college life) isn’t the safest thing in the world.</p>
<p>We have direct flights from Austin on SW to NJ/Philly/NY so that is an option for reasonable fares.</p>
<p>I think I’d rather the plane than the long drive. Our choices, as I said before, are cross country (5+ hour plane ride plus 3 hour time change), 2ish hour plane ride, 1 hour time change, and 1 1/2 hour drive or 3/4 hour train ride with 1/2 hour car ride.</p>
<p>Anything more than 3 hours driving becomes long because of eating, weather, etc.</p>
<p>When we were at the LA choice I asked a NY student how often she went home and she said more often than her brother who goes to Syracuse. I guess it all depends on your kid!</p>
<p>I think all families should set aside funds for one emergency trip, hopefully never needed but things do happen. After that, a discussion of travel expectations needs to take place. </p>
<p>Things to consider are:
Who will attend and costs of travel to orientation?
Who will attend and costs of travel associated with move-in?
Will family attend Parent’s weekend? A game? Siblings included?
Is coming home for fall break and Thanksgiving possible?
Costs associated with holiday break travel.
Is coming home for spring break possible?
If student is a performer or athlete, will family attend any events?
Costs associated with move-out. Will a parent go to campus to help?</p>
<p>Every family has different resources and priorities. Considering these points now will help to make an informed decision. If the travel funds are available, the logistics of long distance travel is not that big a deal. The closest of my 3 is 1500 miles from home and the distance has not really been more than a minor inconvenience at times. We do however plan at least one trip to each campus, each year and the kids are able to come home for their breaks (although they sometimes have other plans). I love being able to visit them in their environment. I think if we knew travel would be restricted, the distance would seem farther. There is no right or wrong, just what will feel right for your family.</p>
<p>We have our kids both at a U that is 2-3 hour time difference & 5+ hour plane ride. Fortunately, it is a convenient airport that has lots of flights through it (LAX + nearby airports). The shuttle to & from school is only about $10-15 & takes less than 30 minutes. It has worked well for them & us.</p>
<p>For any emergency, we have dear family friends who live 30 minutes away & we have sufficient emergency funds for at least 1 trip for one or more of us to get to the kids.</p>
<p>We have all 4 been up every time anything major happens–dropping each kid off & one parents’ weekend. We will all be there when S graduates in May 2010 as well. Each of them has had 1 trip to East Coast for one spring break & it was free (using credit card points for S & $200 for D). S has chosen NOT to go away for this other 2 spring breaks but do things around campus & camping with friends, costing us nothing in travel. The kids have always had the dear family friends to join for holiday meals, if they choose, or they celebrate it with their college friends or others.</p>
<p>LA is so convenient, we could work it into our travel plans when we fly for business but so far, the kids have said that they were not available so we haven’t bothered. For us & the kids, flying home for Christmas holidays & at least some time over the summer has worked OK.</p>
<p>Our kids so far have been resourceful & been able to get friends to help them move when needed so we haven’t been part of that picture other than the initial move-in day for each. Since they now have each other, it’s even easier.</p>
<p>My-3-sons lays out some good things to consider. Our kids do happen to live a drive from family in SF, but so far have only flown there so we don’t particularly see the advantage of being within “driving distance.” I guess it’s partly that they don’t have cars & the family has never gone down to visit them.</p>
<p>My sister’s kids have all attended schools which were NOT conveniently situated near an airport and has not been all that happy about it. The kids always have to figure out how to get from their school to & from the nearest large airport & it’s always more expensive than the options available to us, since our kids are so near a major airport.</p>
<p>The other thing to consider is that you’re trying to make a decision based on a worst-case scenario that may never occur. The truth is that there are very few “life-or-death” situations. Most, not all, emergencies give you time to get home or to the school. As have been said already, do you really want to be driving 12 hours in the middle of winter distracted by everything that’s going on?</p>
<p>Jolynne, it sounds like you live in the northeast nears some major airports. Here’s a homework assignment. Drop everything you’re doing right now and find a flight to your child’s Texas location (including surrounding airports). How long would it take you to get there? Include 30 minutes to pack and drive time to the airport etc; I’m guessing it will be less than 12 hours.</p>