<p>I'm a sixteen year old senior and I have run into a bit of a problem with the college process. My parents don't want me to go away the first year. They said that it has nothing to do with my maturity level, that I'm plenty mature. It's just my age that bothers them. Also, the school I want to go to is in PA and is about 6 hours away. They would prefer I go to a community college or atleast a close by school in VA, if they let me go at all. How do I convince them that I'll be ok, even at farther school?</p>
<p>Tell them that most scholarship opportunities are strictly for freshman admits, and not available to transfers. It could end up costing a lot more if you matriculate as a freshman. Furthermore, in terms of the amount of trouble that your age/maturity can cause, it doesn’t matter if you are 30 minutes or 6 hours away.</p>
<p>But have you done things to demonstrate to your parents that you are NOT ready to be on your own? Perhaps they are right.</p>
<p>^^^</p>
<p>Very true about the scholarship issue.</p>
<p>Many people sadly learn that scholarships that could have been gotten as an incoming freshman are not at all available to students who’ve gone somewhere else first.</p>
<p>When will you be 17?</p>
<p>There’s a student at my kid’s school that turned 17 during the end of her senior year. She’s from PA, but going to school in Alabama. I ran into her a few days ago on campus. She’s doing great. </p>
<p>At your age…mental maturity is more important than chronological age. </p>
<p>In the meantime…convince your parents to at least submit the apps, and the final decision will be in the spring.</p>
<p>Also…you say that you’re responsible…well, kick it up a notch or two…Be super responsible. Do chores before being asked. Do extra chores without being asked. Keep your things organized.</p>
<p>I left VA at age 16 to go to college. Being a 16 year-old college student wasn’t nearly as much of an adjustment challenge as being a 12 year-old HS student.</p>
<p>I also went to college at 16 and had no problems with adjustment - it would have been really hard for me to wait a year because I was ready! The only issue I had at the time was the bank hesitated on giving me a checking account because of my age but then decided if I could go to college at 16 they could give me an account.</p>
<p>There are great schools in Virginia though so that could be a compromise if they’ll let you leave now but balk at the thought of PA.</p>
<p>My parents told me that if I wanted to skip my senior year to go to college, I had to stay in-state. They were paying, and it never occurred to me to argue. I had no problems due to my age.</p>
<p>If the school in PA is clearly your favorite and you wish to try to convince your parents of its merits, you should make a list of all the attributes of that college that attract you, be ready to explain why those attributes are so important to you, and research all similar colleges in VA to demonstrate that none of them offer those attributes. </p>
<p>Would the college in PA be a possibility for graduate school? Is cost a factor (including travel costs)? Would you be able to drive yourself to and from college?</p>
<p>I was an accelerated student and left high school on the early side, arriving at college at 17. I was excited and did well academically – but I was definitely a bit clueless about dating and just was not as robust emotionally as I was a year later. </p>
<p>Keep in mind that your parents love you dearly and it may be hard on them to let you fly when you are still so young. They are not saying “never” – they are saying “not yet.”</p>
<p>Keep an open mind. Is there another, different adventure that would suit all? One day I was searching air fares and there was an uber cheapo flight to Paris. Man, I really wanted to be a kid again who could pick up the phone, call a friend and say “hey, let’s go to France for a week!”. A travel experience, a work experience or an internship might fill the gap so you feel you are growing and living without packing your bags for nine months. </p>
<p>Lastly, know you are abundantly blessed. It sounds like college is going to be possible for you (in these economic times, it simply is not for many teens). You have parents who believe in education – and it even sounds like they are open to the notion of school out of state eventually. Please don’t descend into “But I WANT it!” kind of thinking. Explore options. Talk frequently and in depth. See if you can find a path that works for both you and your parents. Good luck!</p>
<p>I think it is a really good idea to get some applications in so that there will be more time for exploration and discussion. Your parents surely wouldn’t like to close off some opportunities for you? It might be a matter of them resisting the personal sacrifice they need to make to allow you to grow as a person and have an away experience and learn to be independent. Perhaps you can compromise and apply to some instate too. You will have months to discuss it.</p>
<p>There are better chances of freshman admission (and well as financial and merit aid) as a freshman applicant. If you check the data, transfer admissions are often only a handful of students. This is excepting state schools with articulation agreements with CC’s.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t have wanted my talented student to be at a CC with the commuters and the low performers, sure there will be good students too, it is an option, but not the best option. And you would be missing opportunities and access you get at top schools. When mine was a freshman she was already starting to do scientific research outside of class with professors, a really important opportunity.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the help. I really appreciate all of the suggestions. In answer to some of the questions, I will turn 17 mid-august. I may not have my lisence yet though, because Some issues with my family’s van make it impossible for me to practice on. Any ideas on campus transportation that might make my parents more comfortable? I’ve never seen not having a license as an issue before, because freshmen are not allowed to have cars anyway.</p>
<p>What are the transportation issues for the school you would like to attend? Is it in urban area? On a major train line? </p>
<p>I think that in general college students are much better off if they are relying primarily on mass transit rather than their own cars in any case, but obviously that is more feasible for some campuses than others. But if you can easily get to & from the college by bus, train, or plane… then your license shouldn’t be an issue.</p>
<p>I think the real question is not the distance from home, but the character of the school. I went to college at just barely 16, after my junior year of high school. My parents let me go a few states away, but only to a small, single-sex college in a rural location, where they figured I couldn’t get into too much trouble. I attended there for one year, then transferred to Cornell for the rest of my undergraduate studies. Academically, it would have been preferable to be able to go to Cornell for all four years–and it was risky to apply as a transfer, since Cornell accepts only a few. But now that I am a parent of teens myself, I suspect that my parents were probably right that I wasn’t ready for a big university and no oversight. By the time I was 17, on the other hand, I felt, and was, fully capable.</p>
<p>One factor in favor of attending your preferred school from the start: it is socially very helpful to enter as a freshman with the other freshmen, and with all the support that schools generally give to kids just starting their university or college education. As a transfer student, I felt that the social scene was a little harder to navigate than it would have been if I’d been there from the beginning.</p>
<p>Well, most colleges let you defer admission for a year. Why don’t you suggest that idea to your parents? That way, you don’t have to transfer or miss out on being a freshman at the university of your choice, and your parents will have one more year at home with you. During the year break, you can take some community college classes to knock out general ed requirements, work a job or volunteer, travel, and generally have a productive and great time while still keeping on your toes academically.</p>
<p>umcp11–I was going to suggest a Gap year also! ^</p>
<p>Throwing in my support for a gap year as well. I ended up going to college at 17, but my father was clear with me that had I been 16, he would’ve insisted on a gap year, and I would’ve done likewise for my kids. It’s not the academics that are the problem for younger students, but the social life. My 18 year-old freshman got stuck in a party dorm, and it’s a drag.</p>
<p>During the year break, you can take some community college classes to knock out general ed requirements,</p>
<p>Check with the school before you do that. If there’s a merit scholarship involved, then that could hurt that.</p>
<p>Ever see Pinocchico? The Fox and his buddy see the green kid coming from a mile away and set out to snare him. Pinocchio is a great kid. Not a bad guy at all – but he is young and green and alone (at that point in the adventure). </p>
<p>It’s not that a young person can’t have some adventures (you should!) – but you don’t want to be so green that you have “Easy Prey” written on your chest. Perhaps that is the place to begin your conversations with your parents – so that they know that you, too, are aware and concerned about being safe and smart as you move forward in life. </p>
<p>The college in PA should be well researched. For instance, your parents may be more comfortable if you will agree to a single gender, substance free (no alcohol or drugs) dorm for your first year. </p>
<p>This is truly your plunge into the “real” world. There is no right way to do things – there are tons of options, all of which have down sides. Doing the (sometimes tedious) research so you truly understand your choices is always a winner. </p>
<p>I once read a review of the movie “The Little Mermaid” by a horrified father. His little girl adored the movie but the father was completely unnerved. The main character falls in love with a guy just a few moments after clapping eyes on him. Then she abandons the advice of her father and friends to sign an ugly contract with people who are known to be evil. We’re supposed to cheer when the good hearted heroine ends up with her handsome prince, but, truthfully, it is her loyal friends and family who snatch her back from disaster. </p>
<p>Passions are great – but let’s skirt disaster with some due diligence and lots of conversation with parents about details.</p>
<p>Again, thanks. I will definitely look into a gap year. The university I want to go to will allow me to defer, however because I would be attending the Honors College at the university, I cannot take any core classes anywhere else. Also, I’m slightly worried about getting a job. My family doesn’t make much money, and I’ve heard that if the student has had a job, it can hurt the chances for bigger financial aid. Do yal have any advice on this? The college I want to attend is called Eastern University, and it is just outside of Philadelphia near the mall of Prussia. It’s a small, private, Christian school with only about 1,700 undergrads. The campus is well lit, but one concern my mom did mention is that there are alot of paths that go through woods. While it’s very pretty, (and there are emergency lights and phones all along the paths) my parents were not comforted by those pathways.
Does anyone know if there are specific gap year programs? I found one Christian one called Impact 360. It sounds great, but it requires a month overseas, which obviously did not go over well with my parents. :)</p>
<p>“It sounds great, but it requires a month overseas, which obviously did not go over well with my parents.”</p>
<p>You are certainly old enough to go overseas on a legitimate, well-supervised program. Did you know kids spend 4 to 6 weeks on summer and other programs in Israel at age 16? It’s a great learning experience. So if the program you found is set up to accept kids your age, I think your parents should let you go. You would be better able to cope with the freedom & responsibility of college. IMO.</p>
<p>How about a year long gap year on a Rotary Exchange Program? Sure it is a long time, but what an experience! We hosted a young man from Chile 2 years ago and he loved it. It was a huge adjustment at first, but he matured and grew and made the most of it. His parents could not believe the positive change - he was a great kid! Now is the time to do something adventurous in a well-supervised environment.</p>
<p>I agree with the suggestion for the Rotary Youth Exchange Program, which is set up for students from ages 15 through 19. It is an excellent program and also one of the most affordable for a gap year. I would recommend the book “The New Global Student” by Maya Frost for you to look at and show your parents. A gap year would be an incredible opportunity for you.</p>