<p>So I'm a freshman in my first semester of college. I've been commuting from home (it's about a 25-30 minute drive), but I really want to try dorming next semester. I know commuting is saving me a lot of money, but I feel so isolated from my peers and disconnected from the university. My university has an honors college (which I'm in), and I really want to take full advantage of it by living there (the honors college has really nice dorms, and it's almost like a smaller community within the large university). The problem is, whenever I bring up living on campus next semester, my parents make me feel so guilty. They start talking about how much they'll miss me and all. I keep trying to explain how lonely I feel as a commuter, and how few friends I have as a result. People are also pretty judgmental of commuters. It would also be really helpful in terms of my class schedule, as I have a 7:30 am lab next semester. I've been thinking about telling them that I can come home on the weekends, and just stay on campus during the weekdays. I can also prepare my own meals instead of purchasing an expensive meal plan. Any tips on how I can convince them? I love my parents, and I'm really grateful for all they do for me, but I really want to have the residential experience just for one semester (I'd only have to pay half the cost of a full year's room and board, which is really not that much, as my scholarship money could help with that). Everytime I bring up living on campus, they just get upset and mad. They won't budge.</p>
<p>Well, how tight is the money? I.e. was the school just barely affordable by commuting, or was it comfortably under the price limit your parents set beforehand even if you lived in the dorm?</p>
<p>Or does it appear that the real reason they don’t want you to live on campus is something other than the extra cost?</p>
<p>What do they say that make you feel guilty other than saying they will miss you? I think your parents are looking for more validated reasons than just wanting to make more friends and what other people think of commuters</p>
<p>Money is not really a huge issue. The reason I decided to commute in the first place was so I could save up for med school, which is where I hope to go after college, and to avoid thousands of dollars in debt. They mainly just don’t see the point in dorming when we live about 25 minutes from campus. They also mention several people we know who didn’t dorm and were successful when it came to making friends, but what they don’t realize is that those people are a lot more extroverted than I am.</p>
<p>What do you think their reasons for not wanting you to live in the dorm are?</p>
<p>How is money not an issue if your decision to commute was based on the premise that you wanted to “avoid thousands of dollars in debt” - if your dorm is going to be financed with loans and you have rather expensive graduate school ambitions, then money seems like it would very well be an issue. </p>
<p>The thing with medical school is that it is very, very expensive and more often than not, most if not the whole enterprise is financed with loans, so it is imperative to keep undergraduate debt at a minimum. Unless you can make the case that living in a dorm will improve your scholastic performance (which it could very well do) and improve your trajectory for medical school admissions, then I’d probably respect your parents’ wishes and stick with commuting. </p>
<p>You can make friends and be involved on campus as a commuter.</p>
<p>
To be honest, it doesn’t sound like the problem is that you don’t live in dorms. It sounds more like it’s just generally difficult for you to make friends. Dorming isn’t going to be an instant solution to that. I would more work on your social skills and trying to meet like-minded people that you can make friends with. Easier said then done, trust me, I know. It’s the hard way out, but it’s probably the best way out.</p>
<p>Also, can you even get a room for next semester? I know that it would be almost impossible at my university since rooms book fast and there’s always a huge waiting list for the winter semester. </p>
<p>Don’t beat yourself up for missing out. I’ve lived both on and off campus and did around the same friends wise, so that’s to say that it really depends on the person. You can just hang out at different times with people in the the dorms since they live there with you. But you can still make friends from class or from an on campus job/research position and attend department events together and even go out together. </p>
<p>Or since you live so close, you can always have people come hang out at your house. I bring on campus friends over to my house and they LOVE it. There’s something very appealing about an actual house with actual rooms when you’ve been living in a one (two tops) room dorm for 2 years.</p>
<p>In the end, don’t treat dorming like a fix it solution. You have to find it in yourself first. </p>
<p>Thanks guys! I’ve met so many other commuters since I posted this question, and they’re all doing just fine. So I’m feeling better now :)</p>
<p>just do it. pay for the dorm yourself though.</p>
<p>Parents often fail to realize that trying something and seeing how you like it, even if you find out you don’t, is better than regretting it in the future. So if that’s what you want to do, then please do it. If you change your mind, that’s just fine too.</p>