<p>Many threads have been dedicated to the subject of the "going off to college" far from home experience vs. staying relatively close to home for college. Lately, I have been kind of arguing with my parents about this because they want me close by in case anything drastic happens to me, but I want to grow up to be a mature adult and be independent. </p>
<p>My parents argue that being 25 minutes away is not too close because I would be ready in an emergency, and they wouldn't expect visits EVERY weekend. Their main fear is me being on the opposite coast too far away to be helped if, for example, I got in a major car accident.</p>
<p>However, I know who I am, and I have a bad feeling that if I was 25 minutes away from home, I would be tempted to make the quick drive home for silly reasons such as laundry or the wonders of eating delicious homemade cookies (my parents might even use that as a way of enticing me to come home! :D ) I already feel dependent and lazy about chores as it is, but I want this to change when I go to college! I want to experience other states, other cultures, and other weather also because who knows when I will have the chance again.</p>
<p>My main question is how close really IS too close? I live in northern Cali, so my parents would like me to at least stay in California. Although I do like a few colleges here in California, I want to travel to the east coast or the south for college and get the feeling of home away from home. Could I manage to compromise with my parents and find a happy medium distance? Also, the fees of plane tickets are a major problem for my family. I would much appreciate any advice :)</p>
<p>You will get a lot of different answers with that question. Many people will have different opinions of close, but I think if it is within an hour walking distance it is to close. </p>
<p>You said earlier that you lived in northern california… so I would say go to a school in the southern area or go to a school in oregon or washington.</p>
<p>It seems that you are aware of some of the pitfalls of attending college closer to home if you want to become independent. If you want to avoid those pitfalls, you can. You have control over how often you visit home and whether you let your parents do chores for you. It doesn’t matter whether you are 25 miles or 2500 miles away; you can decide how much you are willing to let your parents do for you.</p>
<p>One thing I would consider about the closer colleges is whether they are “suitcase schools” that lack much of a weekend campus life. If they are, it will be more tempting for you to go home on the weekends because there will be nothing to keep you on campus. Try to find a school that has stuff going on 7 days a week and does not have a huge percentage of students vacating the campus every weekend.</p>
<p>I would too avoid suitcase schools. When you visit the campus, you may not recognize it is a suitcase school but come the weekend it would be a ghost town. A good way to know if it is a suitcase school is to look at how many students actually live on campus and where they are coming from. </p>
<p>The problem will living too close too home is you may want to come home for silly reasons or if you get bored of your campus and roommate. If you don’t like something you just go home. This happened with my sister. She attended a suitcase school. </p>
<p>As far as the plane tickets go this is something you would have to research. Remember the best prices on plane tickets is usually when your flexible. However in college you don’t get to choose the times you have off.</p>
<p>My friend is going to school 8 miles away from her house and its a good distance for her I guess. However i applying to colleges 3 hours or more away mostly around 8 hours away and I think its too close. LOL. I personally think going away far to college is a good thing. You get your independence and I personally go to a boarding school 6 hours away from my house and if i am in trouble my parents are no more than a phone call away.</p>
<p>If a family has a hard time paying the travel costs and does not have the financial flexibility to buy a last-minute plane ticket in case of emergency, going far away may not be practical. It’s depressing to be alone on breaks and vacations because there is no money to go home. There are certainly benefits to going away but they have to be weighed against the downsides, which vary from family to family. There is no point in feeling bad about not going far away if it just isn’t feasible.</p>
<p>Are the family finances stretched to the max just to cover basic college costs? If so, then your parents are concerned that if necessary, they couldn’t drop a couple thousand on emergency plane travel, hotels, and car rental. </p>
<p>However, the likelihood that “emergency travel” will be necessary is low. With all of my nieces and nephews attending colleges all over the US, none have ever required “emergency travel”. My kids went to undergrad less than 3 hours away, and they never required an “emergency visit.” </p>
<p>If possible, maybe you could earn some money over the summer, set it aside, and tell your parents it’s to be used towards a possible emergency trip.</p>
<p>Having a “25 minute” distance restriction is ridiculous. Remind them that once you graduate and are working, you could easily be much further away than that. I can understand maybe a 3 hour distance restriction, but 25 minutes? </p>
<p>There may be more to this then your parents are saying. 25 minutes seems like a distance that they may think can be commutable. Are they concerned that they can only pay for you to “go away” for one year, but after that they’ll need you to commute?</p>
<p>I would too avoid suitcase schools. W</p>
<p>Completely agree. If you end up at a suitcase school close to your home, you’ll be coming home every weekend. If you end up at a suitcase school that is far away from home, you’ll be lonely every weekend.</p>
<p>A lot of the answer will depend on how the family handles things. My S ended up going to (and dorming at) a colleges that was only 20 or so minutes away and I have only good things to say about our experience. He chose the school not because of the distance (although he wanted to be within a few hours of home), but because he fell in love with the school, its programs and he always enjoyed NYC. </p>
<p>Before we sent in the deposit, we talked very directly about his choosing a school so close to home. His dad and I promised never to stop by or even to call and say we are in the neighborhood and ask if we could come by. We did not expect him home for minor things --in essence, we agreed to act as if he were 4 hours away. I would send him care packages of cookies instead of expecting him to come home and pick them up (even though I joked that I spent longer on the line at the post office than it would take to drive to campus). In return, my S was dedicated to becoming independent and never came home for laundry, etc. In the end, he almost never came home other than school vacations and we met up only a few times NYC for something. </p>
<p>That said, the convenience of being close was helpful more than once. For example, when his laptop broke, I was able to drive to campus with our old one for him to use while his was being repaired. And when there was a snowstorm the day before a break, he was able to get home with no problem. </p>
<p>In the end, my S had a full residential experience at a school that was a great fit and there was no downside to being close. BUT it was because we all (my husband, myself, and my S) set up ground rules upfront and we all kept to our word. And for the record… now he is in grad school halfway across the country!</p>
<p>So if you do end up close to home, be honest with your parents, set up ground rules, and stick to them.</p>
<p>Many of my son’s friends are living in the dorms at University of Washington and having the typical college experience, even though it is only about 10 miles away and the express bus goes right by campus. </p>
<p>Most of the people in WA live within an hour or so of Seattle by the nature of our geography. It has a little bit of a commuter feel compared to some, but, with 40,000 students, staying on campus on the weekends is still the most popular for the locals. There is something to be said for not having to switch dentists or haircut places.</p>
<p>And just to add to my post, you may want to talk and try to come up with a more flexible geographic limit of say between 2 and 3 hours from home – a distance that would be doable if an emergency arises. Once you have to fly to school the expenses do mount so keep that in mind if finances are an issue.</p>
<p>Going south or east coast from cali is too much. Stay in your state. The drive has to be more than 30 minutes but no more than 4 hours. Below 30 minutes can be considered your back yard and more than 4 hours will just skyrocket the transportation cost.</p>
<p>My DD ended up going to a school that is 3 1/2 hours away. It is close enough she can come home on the occasional weekend. It is also far enough away that she can not come home every single time there is a problem. It has really helped her mature and become her own person. She is home about every 6 weeks or so depending on her schedule. I think a few hours away is a good compromise.</p>