<p>I agree, texaspg–and responding to questions from left field is something you can practice.</p>
<p>And answers can reveal something about character–my son is interviewing at a number of the same programs as another senior from his college. I asked him how he would respond if he was asked why the school should take him over the other student. He said he’d tell them they should take both of them. I was proud of that answer–whether it’s the “right” one or not.</p>
<p>Hunt - that is a great answer! I was under the impression he was still a junior?</p>
<p>Hi
I just want to say I am moved. It is the nicest answer I have read so far, and it might be just how and why he will get in in the end.</p>
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<p>Over and over again until some affinity groups expand their definition of <em>social norm</em>. That would be my view. Thanks QM!</p>
<p>off now till tonight or later</p>
<p>My D1 was stumped by an older guy who had never interviewed before- he told her her major was wrong and that she should pursue what he had, 40 years earlier- which happens to be her weak spot. It wasn’t, imo, a probing question. </p>
<p>Ime, interviewers are expected to uncover x,y,z about a candidate. The key issues are pre-set, a few questions/topics to cover, then the interaction can go however it goes. Nearly every interview report comes back with a positive backbone (these are interviewers, not adcoms; they are eyes and ears, not gatekeepers.)</p>
<p>The big flaws are when the kid can’t answer why he’s interested in this college, isn’t aware of some easy particulars, has to have answers pulled out of him, etc. You don’t get into a highly/most competitive college because someone feels empathy for a candidate.</p>
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Yes. His energetic/lively personality does not come out unless he is talking math with his nerdy friends. Around those who do not share this interest, he is much more reserved and shy. And I doubt anyone would describe this behavior as wonderful.</p>
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No, I am not saying this. I am far from brilliant, and I’d like to think that I can appreciate and notice positive traits in smart people.</p>
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Yes, I think I did this. Clearly my kid’s smarts didn’t come from me.</p>
<p>So the problem was that I didn’t write clearly? I am still a little confused how my post rises to the level of “disturbing” someone. In any case, it was not my intention to offend/insult/blame/belittle/disparage anyone else when writing about my son. If I did any of those things, my apologies.</p>
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<p>I don’t believe this to be true. I have yet to meet a kid who is cocky enough to believe that any accomplishment is a guaranteed acceptance. They all have concerns about presenting themselves in a good light.</p>
<p>Do you think the accepted social norm in the US of being bothered by someone who shows up to an interview with really bad body odor and poor personal hygiene (who doesn’t have a medical reason or other extenuating circumstance, so don’t go down the road to Kolkuta) is going to change anytime soon, Alh? </p>
<p>How about the norm of simply expecting people you are interviewing to show signs of life and engagement and appropriate socialization (please, thank you, how do you do) during the interview?</p>
<p>I’m sorry there are people who aren’t neurotypical, but how does that change things?</p>
<p>“His energetic/lively personality does not come out unless he is talking math with his nerdy friends. Around those who do not share this interest, he is much more reserved and shy. And I doubt anyone would describe this behavior as wonderful”</p>
<p>But he HAS friends. So this isn’t the example we are talking about. And no one has said that one cannot be shy and reserved. Shy and reserved can still impress an interviewer. We all know still waters that run deep. This isn’t what’s meant here by “poor social skills.”</p>
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<p>I absolutely agree with this. It’s just that the social part is harder for some than others. I believe that it is a lifetime of learning and adapting.</p>
<p>PG: the accepted social norm at the Ivies used to be straight WASP male. Anything else was utterly inconceivable to certain affinity groups. It seems a ridiculous assumption to us today. How we look at the world does sometimes change through time. </p>
<p>I really do have to get off the board now for real life business. I’m sorry not to be able to respond to you further but will later if you wish?</p>
<p>Then it requires developing and drawing on another type of intelligence. And working hard at it. No different from working hard at music or art or chemistry in a sense.</p>
<p>All I saw, bogi, was that you basically said, he’s smart. X group may not click with him (and vice versa,) while Y group does- and with Y group, he sparkles. Someone else may have interpreted that as something wrong with X group. </p>
<p>It doesn’t matter to me, to dissect word choices. The message was about your son coming alive with certain types. Not a put down of others.</p>
<p>My son is a senior–hard for me to believe. While we’re talking about tough interview questions, I’ll brag on him a bit more–when he was asked about the music of Roy Harris–which he isn’t familiar with at all–he admitted this and asked the interviewer what pieces he should listen to, and wrote it down. I thought that was a smart response. I can take limited credit, because before the interview my advice to him was not to try to BS the interviewers if he got a tough question.</p>
<p>bogibogi, I have seen nothing in any of your comments that was meant to offend ,blame,or disparage anyone. Your son sounds like a great kid!</p>
<p>Well done, Hunt’s son.</p>
<p>I don’t know why you wouldn’t go over a few things with your kid before an interview if they were open to that, or if they asked. How silly. It’s like saying, don’t get someone to proofread your resume and cover letter. </p>
<p>Obviously my kids know how to shake hands, make eye contact, tip the barista and waiter, say thank you. Clearly they know it is appropriate to finish “I’m fine thank you.” with “How are you?” These are basics.</p>
<p>When D’s boyfriend was going for interviews he did talk to my husband about it for about ten minutes. He asked. H answered. Always say thank you. Don’t first name people until they offer. Never pretend to know things you don’ know and never be afraid to ask for clarification if you don’t understand the question. If you don’t know the answer ask the interviewer how “they” would handle the situation. </p>
<p>I think it’s really bizarre that people would get test prep and tutors and study for tests and practice their ECs but not go over proper interview technique.</p>
<p>It’s probably the TOO rehearsed, overpackaged kid that is the type an interviewer for a college can spot a mile away.</p>
<p>bogibogi - the example I gave of that young lady in my group, it didn’t take much to encourage her to speak up, be more confident and social. I don’t think her parents thought it was important for her to fit into social norm because she was so brilliant growing up. Some people have high IQ and some people have high EQ. Both are important in order to succeed in life.<br>
[What</a> is Emotional Intelligence (EQ)? | Psych Central](<a href=“http://psychcentral.com/lib/2007/what-is-emotional-intelligence-eq/]What”>http://psychcentral.com/lib/2007/what-is-emotional-intelligence-eq/)
Parents with lower EQ kids, it is beneficial for them in life to work on it while they are young. The ability to read other people’s signals and react appropriately to them is key, as I read some posts on this thread.</p>
<p>I didn’t take ExieMIT too literally. I figured he was referring to the overly prepped / rehearsed kid when he said “don’t coach.”</p>