<p>I must admit that I don't understand the mystery to the whole college admission process. My daughter went 6/6 on her applications, including her top two; Stanford and Virginia, and her backups; Cornell, Wash U., Banard and Rice. She should be overjoyed, but it has been a bloodbath at her high school, a very good public school. The number of outstanding kids rejected from their top choices is just overwhelming. So now she is walking around with this guilt feeling about 'why me?'. </p>
<p>I think the worst part is that since I was born in Cuba, and the schools ask where your father is born, she is considered hispanic. I don't think she checked any boxes, but her best friend is bitterly accusing her of getting in only because she is hispanic. I don't have any idea what role this played, but she is an amazing kid and will do well wherever she goes. I am afraid life will be pretty rough for her over the next few weeks. It just seems like this level of intense competition does not bring out the best in 18 year olds.</p>
<p>My son is having a very similar experience. He was accepted to top schools while kids who assumed they were going to get accepted to the top schools, especially the ivies, were rejected. Some of these kids are saying nasty things and trying to say his acceptances weren't justified. He isn't a minority. He is a top ranked student whose SAT's were higher than these kids and his AP scores were higher. Moreover, his passion for his intended major was clearly evident in his application while many of these kids have no real passion except that they wanted to get into a top school. I think the schools saw this. One kid actually commented in class that only a ......would go to that school (ivy that my son was accepted to) and said it right in front of him. This boy was rejected from his top choices. The jealousy is apparent. But I am sure your child, just like mine, has also experienced setbacks, and did not take it out on other students.</p>
<p>My son is a junior at a small high school, and the competition is rising already. When the girl who is likely to be first in his class, asked him what his SAT scores were, he made the mistake of telling her (his were fantastic, but hers were more so). And so mom's mantra begins: Keep your scores to yourself and let the whole admissions process be between you and you (and your parents, of course!). It's your choice, based on your interests, your goals, and your and qualifications. </p>
<p>Your daughter obviously chose her schools well. Congratulations to her! I hope you're having a big family celebration to honor her successes. She did a great job, and it should be a happy time.</p>
<p>If other kids had the same backups yours did, it's not so surprising that admissions results weren't all happy. This is a stressful time of year, people say things that they'll probably regret. Just try to ignore the unpleasantness.</p>
<p>I should apologize for the word 'backup', I should have said 'other choices'. The University of Texas (automatic admission), would have been a backup. Frankly we did not do that much research about the difficulty of getting into a couple of these schools. After being bombarded for two years with flyers from Wash U., she had no idea how selective the school really is. As an architecture school it is mid-pack; Rice and Cornell are at the top for undergraduate architecture programs.</p>
<p>Rick...there have been a number of posters saying that their high schools are littered with disappointment. My son's friends have done well, but many applied EA/ED. Even the RD kids seem to have top choices in hand--so it's not a nationwide phenomena.</p>
<p>Couldn't quite follow your remark on ARch schools though. Stanford doesn't have an architecture program.</p>
<p>Also, if your D intends to stay in Texas to pursue a career, Rice might trump Cornell but otherwise, Rice does not begin to compare to the architecture program at Cornell--a fact which can be established by comparing the two faculty lists. Rice clearly has trouble drawing top architecture faculty to Houston. In my opinion.</p>
<p>My daughter's logic for architecture schools was to have a couple of five year, very focused programs (Rice and Cornell), a four year architecture program (UVA), two liberal arts programs with a concentration in architecture (Wash U., and Barnard), and a school which she thinks would be a great colege experience and where she might go industrial design (Stanford). I would love either Cornell or Rice, but she wants out of Texas, and feels that Cornell is not the most nurturing environment. I am going to sit back and offer advice if asked. That strategy has certainly worked out so far in the application process ;-)</p>
<p>SO how does everybody know everybody's business like this?</p>
<p>Sometimes the winner needs to be humble...and how in the world does your kids know everybody's scores, APs, etc
What, do they walk around sharing that</p>
<p>My D only knows the SAT scores of ONE friend, for everyone else, she is clueless</p>
<p>How do parents and kids know everbody elses stats? Seems weird to me</p>
<p>So sour grapes. Your daughter lucked out and deserved it! Other students - it fell diffferently. It is not due to her ethnicity. She came by it on her own and tell her that! It will all work out for all of them but she should not feel guilty in the meantime. Believe me, I know this - 3 kids in college right now. Well, one is in garduate school but you get my point of going through this three times. Life may be rough until the other students make their decisions or until she graduates. After that, she will have a ball at whatever school she chooses and enjoy the diversity and no questions why she was accepted. Our son is at a school - 25% of class Asian. Many English ESL. Incredble - some of these students are using translator equip. in class. My son - Mom, they are grasping the info. better than I am. No matter - he loves it all and loves the diversity. Congrats and good luck with her choice - most deserving!</p>
<p>As well, this attitude of "top" schools can cause issues, I see posters here who got into some wonderful schools, but whine about not getting into an ivy</p>
<p>To just say, "top" schools creates the feeling that even admitance to other skills mean they students have failed</p>
<p>We parents have to adjust our attitude, that only admissions to "top, elite, selective" is success, frankly, this has bothered me a long time</p>
<p>And when students who weren't picked for a "top" school keep hearing that admitance to those schools is the only way to succeed, no wonder they are p)#*$@d off</p>
<p>As a culture we need to celebrate ANY kid going to college, no matter where it is, and if we did that, maybe these kids who are bitter might feel a bit better, but instead, we focus on the top 30 schools or whatever</p>
<p>I couldn't be prouder of my Ds friends, who will be going to a range of schools</p>
<p>While I certainly do not condone the nasty nasty people who make negative comments on how some sort of perceived special case status got your D into top colleges, coming from the other side, it is tough to be the rejectee. I've been on spring break, and I have to say that I am dreading going back to school and hearing where people got in. In my case, it's silly--most kids at my school really don't care about going to the top school. Plus, I suspect that if it went like this for me, the rest of the kids at my school didn't get great results either. That nagging loser feeling, however, is tough to deal with. </p>
<p>So, your D is still in the happy position, even if she has to dodge a few slings and arrows for a couple weeks.</p>
<p>Kids talk - my son did not take the SATs in March but many of his friends did and he seems to know many of the kids' scores. We have a very competitive high school in MA and the competition for a white suburban kid from MA, espeically to get into one of the MA schools, is just plain ridiculous. This generates a great deal of anxiety, concern and bitterness. I think the issue of diversity is one that is making kids bitter and not necessarily accepting of diversity. But, the sheer numbers of applicants for this year and the next is going to result in this type of reaction. Kids have essentially given up their teenage years to "get into college" and, after all that work, the rejections pile in. It really is something that should give us all pause. I imagine things will change as the numbers of applicants decline in the future but for now, it all seems pretty unfair for many students. </p>
<p>One thing I have noticed is that the top few kids or kids with diversity get admitted everywhere and the next layer gets rejected everywhere but state u or tier 3. I am not sure what the solution is. I would hope that my son would rise above any jealousy but given the sacrifices and anxiety, I think some disappointment and anger/jealous is not unexpected. There was a blurb in the Boston Globe Magazine today emphasizing that success is about what you do at college and not where you go. Good timing but I imagine many kids now wished they went to the beach instead of studying for SAT IIs. The outcome would have been the same.</p>
<p>I know I've stopped talking about my son's admissions with other parents unless they ask point-blank and then I try to be vague. My son has had great and well-deserved results, but I feel like some of his friends deserved better outcomes than they're getting. It's a stressful time and hard to celebrate fully when others are crying.</p>