How did your high school kids balance school and music?

College Majors Music Major
61

<p>Rigaudon, absolutely beautiful post, right on the money.There is no one secret way to success or happiness, and everyone has to find their own way. Is a kid who has passion for music but is average academically any less a person then the superstar who seems to walk on water? No, because that is comparing apples and oranges, two different people with two different dreams. The kid who isn’t sure, who is struggling towards something, is making an effort to find what they want, to go for dreams, and that is beautiful to. And I agree totally with Michael Tilson Thomas, that to be passionate in music is to be different, and my observations seem to bear that out. Whether they are the ones who ‘need’ music like viola said earlier, the kid who has a different vision of what music is, the kid who can do great in AP physics and playing their instrument, all are different, and to me wonderful. More importantly, they are learning to pursue something that so many pooh pooh, that that isn’t ‘where the money is’ (true enough, sadly), or “isn’t practical”, I give them credit for facing something that makes being a doctor or lawyer look easy and stand with it. Even if not planning to make it a career, these kids see something in the music that makes them want/love it, and that alone is special IMO.</p>

<p>On top of that, these are the kids looking at it and wanting it, not being forced into it. There are music programs all over the place, including the top level pre college programs, that are full of kids who have been pressed into music, who quite obviously don’t want to be there, and IMO it is pathetic, because instead of seeing passion and love, I see kids who would rather be doing something else. My son was in a youth orchestra at one point that was full of kids who were only there because their parents thought it would be an upper hand when applying to college, and it made the experience at a lot less then magical (as opposed to the program he currently is in, where the kids who are there for the most part want to be there, and to be able to be accepted and stay in the program, you have to be dedicated, the type forced to be there would not last).</p>

<p>As a side light, I always find it hilarious (and pathetic) when I see programs about young serious music students, how they always make the effort to make the kids ‘normal’, you get the same shtick “outside of music, these kids are perfectly normal”, “they will just as soon run around the corridors playing tag as playing music”, “they are well rounded”, etc. I read a profile recently of Juilliard’s pre college program that was written by the PR department, because at least in certain areas what they are describing doesn’t exist…it is also quite sad, because there should be nothing wrong with kids who dedicate themselves to music at a young age (assuming they weren’t pushed, which sadly is a common story in many places), it should be as normal and the fact is that serious music requires an amount of dedication that often precludes “normal” things (like sitting around playing video games and texting all the time? ). One of the problems young musicians run into is because they are seen as not normal, that if they don’t mimic exactly what 'other kids are doing" they are seen as weird, and that is sad.</p>

62

<p>Our D is actually forward to college to ease up her schedule. She has attended an arts high school specializing in music percussion. She has also been a percussionist for for one of Canada’s highest ranking junior orchestras (practice every Saturday from 0900 till 1400) with major concerts throughout the year, drummer for a national gold medal Jazz band (Monday from 1930 till 2200), guest percussionist for a community based orchestra (Tuesday from 1930 till 2200), percussionist for a community based concert band (Wednesday 1900 till 2130), Percussionist for a community based Wind Ensemble (Thursday 1930 till 2130). Needless to say we have always been very concerned about her yet she is in the top 5% of her class. I think it is that her Mom and I are both project managers and instilled in her the absolute need to schedule your time. She gets homework and starts it right away even if it is not due for a month. She has a PDA with all of her schedule on it and she goes by that to plan her work load. I admire her ability to cope with this at such a young age but she thrives on it and is bored silly over the summer.</p>

63

<p>Percussion:</p>

<p>Sadly, another failed child of this society that produces only couch potato slackers who watch tv and play videogames and don’t take responsibility for themselves <em>lol</em>. What amazes me is I hear all this crap about kids today being underachievers, lazy,etc, and compared to the way we were when I was growing up, well, let’s just say on these terms our parents were right about myself and my peers, we were losers and slackers compared to these kids:). </p>

<p>What you left out was that she is in the top level junior orchestra from 0900 to 1400, and the conductor is a tyrant who feeds players who don’t match up to his pet great white shark. Someday, my son (who is in one of the highest level youth orchestras in the US) will tell his own kids “You think that is tough, you should have seen the conductor of the youth symphony I was in, now that was tough”, your daughter will be able to do the same I suspect:)</p>

64

<p>My son worked incredibly hard in hs (especially the last 2 years) and thought music school would be a breeze by comparison. I think the hard work only served to prepare him well for the life of a musician which involves constant hard work if you want to succeed. He says that the big difference is that now he’s working hard only on things he loves. Still juggling requirements of a demanding private teacher with theory/ear training, chamber music and a very demanding orchestra schedule. But he thinks he died and went to heaven!</p>

65

<p>I noticed that most of the posts in this thread are from a parent’s perspective, so I thought it might be helpful if I gave that of a students.</p>

<p>Balancing a difficult course load and music? It’s possible, and it’s exhausting. Ultimately it depends on the student and whether they are dedicated enough to see it through. </p>

<p>Before I went to high school I wanted to be a doctor, so when I got accepted to an intense science and math high school, I decided to go there. I took nearly all of the biology classes, and gave up my lunch for two years to also take chorus. Junior year was the hardest, because I took AP Bio, History, and English tests as well as doing a science research project at a Hospital. I also practiced about an hour a day, and had lessons on weekends.
The truth is that it was incredibly hard. I was tired all the time, didn’t get much sleep, and felt like I was working all the time. Summer program auditions and the classical singer competition meant tons of planning in advance, because I had to finish schoolwork in advance so that I could sleep six hours or so in the week leading up to the audition. I got sick a lot, because between practicing and school there wasn’t much time for sleep.
I also had to make a lot of sacrifices. My circle of friends shrunk substantially, because I simply didn’t have time to keep up with all of them. I could no longer handle a sports team or church youth group, and virtually all my time was spent doing schoolwork or music.</p>

<p>However, I am completely happy with how I spent my high school years. It was a lot of work, but I learned so much and I wouldn’t give that up even for more sleep. I think that not sacrificing either my academic or my musical interests has made me a happier and more well rounded person, because I never get tired of either one. And, in the end, it worked out. I aced my AP’s, won some cool awards for both music and science, and got into my first choice college and conservatory for a double degree program. </p>

<p>If anyone wants to ask me more specific questions about balancing academic and music stuff, ask away!</p>

66

<p>Thanks, theragingsoprano for chiming in. The thing that I worry about with young musicians, like my own daughter and theragingsoprano, is a thought that rarely creeps into discussions on this thread – "My circle of friends shunk substantially, " a phrase appearing in the ragingsoprano’s post above. The problem is that everything is important – grades, SATs, exercise or sports, health, and socializing. For my daughter, an extremely social person, sacrificing time with friends came at great expense. I worry because, as I’ve said previously on this site, relationships with people are what make the world go around – a child’s ability to formulate relationships is one of the most important predictors of overall success in life. </p>

<p>Theragingsoprano said something else that troubles me about my own daughter. She mentions that she was sick a lot – something my daughter experienced because of less than optimal sleep, eating, and exercise habits, encouraged by a too rigorous schedule. For a singer, sleep and general good health is particularly important. Maybe this thread title doesn’t capture what’s really important – balance between school, music, health and human relationships. Just a thought.</p>

67

<p>DS’s circle of friends was a music oriented one in high school, and yes, it wasn’t huge. BUT he has several VERY good friends from high school with whom he still visits. I have to tell you, he keeps in touch with more HS friends than DD who is still in college and is NOT a music major. </p>

<p>However, the really good news was that his circle of friends grew hugely when he entered his college years (both undergrad and grad). AND his friends shared his very high interest in music.</p>

<p>The common adage I’ve heard is that friendships are based on common interests. For my kid, he was thrilled to have a circle of friends with the same passion for music that he had.</p>

68

<p>theragingsoprano, thanks for the perspective.</p>

<p>As an aside, if you’ve made a decision on where you’re planning to attend, please let us know, and we’ll reflect it on <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/music-major/665738-master-list-final-decisions-fall2009.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/music-major/665738-master-list-final-decisions-fall2009.html&lt;/a&gt;. If you have additional acceptances beyond Northwestern and JHU/Peabody, let us know and we’ll add them as well.</p>

<p>Good luck wherever you’ve decided.</p>

69

<p>“But here in lies that 3rd piece of the balancing act…besides academics and music, they still have to grow up and mature, and learn how to make/choose great friends and just be silly once in a while.”</p>

<p>KeyofH: I think you said very eloquently what I was trying to get across in an earlier post. I think psychologists call this “emotional development”. Certainly exercise is also key and probably can even help prevent music-related injuries for instrumentalists.</p>

<p>Coming full circle in this discussion, I would like to once again blame the AP program for messing our kids up. Because if it wasn’t for music, they’d be doing something else and being just as stressed out, all because of the AP’s.</p>

70

<p>Thank you CLRN8MOM. I guess I’m just glad it’s over with the AP’s. During my daughter’s junior year, I’d say to her – the good thing is that life doesn’t get much rougher than junior year with AP’s. I’m hope I’m right. As far as the “emotional development” issue, I think it’s something important to consider. However, as another parent pointed out, many kids form bonds and lasting relationships with the other music students and I’m grateful for that. There are times, though, that I wish we had been more time for family activities, but I guess there are always tradeoffs.</p>

71

<p>The first part of your question answers the question, “balance”. My son is a junior at a top HS—an excellent student, and a musician who studies classical voice, does vocal competitions, performs all year in musical theatre at HS, typically with a lead role. SO, that by itself is many hours. He LOVES music—he would tell you it is his passion—so my first question for your daughter is “what does she LOVE?” Then, I would allow her to choose a schedule that she can reasonably maintain good grades. If she hates history, take regular history next year. Maybe she is better at math/physics (many musicians are!). Then, the more important thing is that she gets a good grade in the class…did you know that you are NOT required to take the AP exam? Most teachers expect you to take it because when they have a high pass rate, it makes them look good too. If you daughter gets a “2” on the exam, but has a high B or A in the class, that is what is most important to college admissions----the difficulty of her overall curriculum and how well she did, not individual AP scores. I think kids who do what they love in addition to going to school are happier people overall. Hope this helps.</p>

72

<p>Wow: Although we believe in a quality free public education, had to pull a similar kid out of the system due to just the things you’ve mentioned. Kid needed a challenging, but supportive and nurturing learing environment, not the dog-eat-dog scraps that our state tosses out to a multitude of kids jumping to grab a llimited # of bones from an overcrowded classroom. Gifted kids need an education system that challenges, but fosters their gifts. Note: I spoke to an MIT grad once, who said “I don’t tell people I went to MIT.” When asked why they said people always want them to solve a problem, when they learn that they went to MIT. I said: “What’s wrong with that?” They said: The last problem was asked to “fix” happened to be in the window ceil of a window that they were enjoying the view from. I think that brilliant kids, like your D, are very, very fragile and that care needs to be taken because very few people understand them.</p>

73

<p>The “evolution” of friends around our kids is fascinating. For the first 3 years of HS, D hung around with one group of girls, and much of that could be attributed to the fact that they were thrown together because the were in all of the “Honors” and AP courses. This year, she dropped the elite choir for several reasons, including the fact that the management of the group had deteriorated to such a degree as to make it unsafe for serious vocal students and would have ruined her voice during college audition season. Unfortunately, this had the effect of of putting her into a position of being attacked by two small-minded teachers, but the benefits were much greater and far-reaching than she or I could have imagined. Last night, at the Awards Ceremony, she pretty much cleaned up on everything from math to music to a couple of history awards, but I noticed that she was sitting with different girls than usual. When I asked her about it on the way home, she told me that dropping that one course had let her discover girls she had never known past a nod and a smile in the hallways. She had a study hall with them and this group has had the chance to discover their similarities and share diverse interests. She is no longer called the “brain” or has to tolerate the snarky comments of girls that are angry when she destroys the curve in an exam.While she still has the same lunch table and most classes with her old friends, this year has really expanded her circle and given her options that she never knew she had. Good prep for what is to come in the fall!</p>