<p>So I have made a fair amount of visits to Universities and I always look for their pitch. Here's are the ones I've got now. Feel free to add any opinions or examples you want.</p>
<p>Columbia: We know what is best for you, and we'll get you New York Internships</p>
<p>U Chicago: We are a good school, not HYP, but when it comes to Econ/Math/Physics were awesome. We have got more Nobel Prize winners than you. Everyone here is weird and the curriculum is challenging. </p>
<p>Northwestern: We are a good school! We have lots of little programs and intangibles for you to do. We are more normal than U Chicago.</p>
<p>Carnegie Mellon: We like technology and Scots. We're big into computers, but we have a good business school too! (We're only 25% Asian) Pittsburgh is a great, safe, fun city for a college student.</p>
<p>University of Pittsburgh: We are big! We are into pre-professional programs, as in come here and by meeting certain qualifications we can guarantee you into grad school/ med school/ law school. We have more fun than Carnegie Mellon. We give lots of Merit Money.</p>
<p>University of Michigan: We love the Maize and Blue! We have the biggest football stadium in the US! Make sure you take the SAT 25 times so you can get in. </p>
<p>Princeton: If you get in, we'll make sure you are set for life. Princeton for life. We're at the nation's service. We are a part of US History. Our Eating clubs are better than Greek Life. But, that's a big IF. </p>
<p>Rutgers: Ummm, we don't know whats going on because we lost a lot of state funding. Scholarships and programs are all up in the air. We are one of the top 60 research universities. 60% of students do research! We are down to earth. </p>
<p>MIT: We do research on important projects. 80% of students do research! We also are a bunch of oddballs, as evidenced by the architecture and housing system. We will change the world! Hardly anyone fails or leaves!</p>
<p>Harvard: If a University is a buffet, we do freshman year like free samples. Yeah, we are Harvard. Money is not an object. If you are poor you will go for free. We just want you to apply, because like the lottery, "Hey, you never know". (We know we're the best and we don't feel like telling you why) Stoic Utopianism. We are a student body of Stereotypes.</p>