<p>I'm a SoCal girl who's quite tired of her hometown. I've been accepted to a great LAC on the east coast. Problem is, my parents want me to stay put for the next four years...commuting.</p>
<p>I do have a few schools in California (UCs), but even with that, it's difficult talking to my parents.</p>
<p>Their arguments (centering around the location being too far)
1) I can't take care of myself. (For the record, my inability to cook will not matter since it's dorm food, but they believe that all schools have a schedule of giving food)
2) They can't reach me when needed (...they want to visit every week.)
3) I can't drive or ride a bike.
4) It's expensive, mostly concerning transportation.
5) The first four years are not important. I should leave for grad school. (Problem is, this means I'll NEVER get to leave.)</p>
<p>All parents are concerned about their children’s safety when they go away to college, and some parents struggle with this even more than the rest of us. Your parents know that some of their arguments are silly (not driving or riding a bike), and some are clearly their own fault (not being able to cook or take care of yourself). But other concerns are legitimate (cost differential), and realistic (saving money on undergrad makes sense if you are headed to grad school). </p>
<p>As for wanting to be in touch with you, even if they can’t visit each week, they could Skype with you. That would be worth suggesting.</p>
<p>But I do have to ask, Who is paying for your education? If you are paying for it yourself, it is your call. If they are paying for all of it, it is theirs. If you have been offered boatloads of financial aid and the far-away school is cheaper then the place that is close to home, then you may be able to convince them to let you go.</p>
<p>I’m gonna say what happymomof1 said, it depends on who’s paying for your education. If they’re paying then you should consider what they say more strongly and work on a GREAT argument to convince them that you should go. However, if they’re not paying then do what you want. Thats how I see it anyways. I’m not telling you to be rude or anything, just be blunt and to the point.</p>
<p>I don’t know them, but they sound like they’re really protective/restrictive. (Visit every week?) Try to convince them to just contact you on skype, that way they can phsically see how you’re doing. Agree to have a skype chat maybe once every 2 weeks.</p>
<p>How do you plan to get around when you get there? Bus?</p>
<p>I’m waiting for the finaid to come to discuss the financial side.</p>
<p>As for Skype, they do know how to use it. They prefer to be able to immediately be by my side in case of emergencies.</p>
<p>As for transportation, the East Coast school has buses going to other cities and an Amtrak to the airport. As for transportation within itself, it’s a LAC in a small town so everything’s accessible</p>
<p>Have you visited the LAC? This may assuage your parents’ fears. Many college students can’t ‘take care of themselves’ in the sense that parents think of it thier first year, but being out of college, college sort of feels like a Limbo land between being a dependent and being an actual independent, productive member of society. It’s a place to <em>learn</em> how to take care of yourself, and there are plenty of structures in place to facilitate that process. For example, if you live in the residence halls there’s a hierarchy that watches over the goings-on there (RAs, then hall directors, then the actual residence life staff).</p>
<p>Your parents are not always going to be able to reach you when needed. What are they going to do when you are done with college and off for graduate school? All parents would prefer to be immediately by their child’s side in an emergency; problem is, you are growing up and that’s not always a realistic desire. You have to learn how to deal with emergencies yourself, because that’s a skill you’ll need when you are really on your own. Ask your parents whether they’d want you to go cold turkey or whether the transitional period of living-away college might be beneficial for you learning how to take care of yourself and be independent? (Do they want to risk you living in their basement for 20 years, too scared to live alone? Lol! Not likely, but you get the point.) </p>
<p>Also, as a current grad student, I strongly disagree that the first four years are not important. Academically, they are your foundation for grad school. The better prepared you are in undergrad, the less work you’ll have to do in grad school to catch up and the better able you will be to move on to the more advanced stuff, which could lead to a better job for you. My strong undergrad education in my field was what led to me getting here in the first place but I feel comfortable and knowledgeable even though over half my cohort has a master’s degree and I came straight from undergrad. Socially/as far as growing up is concerned, I learned to be independent in many ways in college that were a foundation for the higher level of independence in grad school. Here, you have to pay bills, cook for yourself, decide your own schedule, and juggle a timeline that is a lot more ambiguous than undergrad. Good thing I learned the basics in undergrad! Not that you can’t learn them living at home (I lived only 20 minutes commute from my parents’, and my mom drove up and took care of me the first time I got sick in college - lol! But I lived on campus). But there’s something about realizing in the middle of a crisis at 2 am that mom and dad are asleep 900 miles away and there’s nothing they can do, and you’ve got to handle it on your own. You develop a certain determination and you teach yourself how to work through problems.</p>
<p>Also, you can learn to cook. It’s easy IMO (but that’s because I like it). Not to mention that there are all kinds of time and labor saving meals you can make. You’re right in thinking that you won’t learn in undergrad, though. You’ll go to the caf just like everyone else. You probably won’t really learn until you move out into an apartment and you don’t have access to a meal plan. That might not be until grad school or your first job.</p>