How to convince my parents to let me go to an out of state school!?

Parents Forum
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<p>I am currently a transfer student 2 hours a way from my home town at a JC and I will be applying to universities in the fall '11.</p>

<p>I really want to go to Southern Methodist University (SMU) but my parents are really against me going out of state. Money isn't that much of an issue, but my parents are just really frugal... too frugal. If they want to pay that much they rather have me go to USC which is fine but USC is so close to home and I want to get away. </p>

<p>Also, I doubt I will get into USC and I definitely wont get into UCLA, but I'm OK with that because I stand a good chance at SMU. </p>

<p>So the question at large is: How to convince them to let me go there.</p>

<p>I try to tell them how the UC's don't have my intended major which is criminal justice/pre-law, and then they always reply by saying well go to a state school, they have great programs. And I really do not want to go to a state school, I'm not even going to apply, like I rather get an AA then do that. </p>

<p>I also try to explain to them how the campus is everything I have hoped for and needed in a college experience and they say I'm being dramatic.</p>

<p>10 -15 of my friends from home all go there and love it. </p>

<p>My grades are good. But my behavior isn't the best, meaning I have been caught for a lot of stupid things that might set me back on me actually attending SMU.</p>

<p>I don't have a job and I'm not responsible which they always throw in my face.</p>

<p>Frankly, I feel they just don't want to loose their sense of entitlement. They like being near me because it is so easy for them to keep tabs on me, and I am only a 2 hour drive away.</p>

<p>Isn't that a violation of my youth? </p>

<p>Parents, peers, anyone, I NEED YOUR HELP!</p>

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<p>Who are you saying has a sense of entitlement?</p>

<p>What are these setbacks</p>

<p>Why not get a job to show responsibility</p>

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<p>

Is that the real reason you want to go there? Otherwise why SMU? It seems somewhat random.</p>

<p>

Violation of your youth? That’s a new one. </p>

<p>

How do you know? Most kids don’t truly know their parents’ financial situation.</p>

<p>Frankly, you’re the one who comes across as entitled and if you do that here then you’re probably doing so when you discuss it with your parents.</p>

<p>I can understand wanting some independence but I assume in your case you don’t really want full independence - you want your parents to pay for what you want and then to leave you alone. That’s okay - that’s what most kids want in your position but you need to realize that sometimes there are strings that go along with the request for financial support.</p>

<p>Why not compromise and go to a UC or CSU like it sounds that they’re willing to support? California’s a big state so you s/b able to attend a state U further than 2 hours away if that’s your issue but even if you’re 2 hours away attending college I don’t see how your parents can ‘keep tabs on you’ very well - especially at a large state U. How do you think they’d actually be able to do this?</p>

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<p>"My grades are good. But my behavior isn’t the best, meaning I have been caught for a lot of stupid things that might set me back on me actually attending SMU.</p>

<p>I don’t have a job and I’m not responsible which they always throw in my face."</p>

<p>How about you clean up your act, get a part-time job, and save your money so that you can pay for your own transfer applications to SMU and any other places that they won’t pay for applications for? Then when you do have your final admissions and financial aid offers, you can discuss the options that are on the table with your parents. If by then you have demonstrated more maturity in ways that they can understand, they may be ready to pay for a college/university that is farther from home.</p>

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<p>

</p>

<p>UCI and many of the CSUs offer criminal justice type of majors:</p>

<p>[List</a> Of University Majors by Discipline](<a href=“Welcome to ASSIST”>Welcome to ASSIST)</p>

<p>Pre-law can be done with any major.</p>

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<p>Sorry, but it is THEIR money. And you do not (currently) seem like a good investment. Quite frankly, you sound very self absorbed. SMU is a girl’s party school (ok, maybe I am out of date but that was it’s rep when I was looking at colleges). It was a place where girls prided themselves on their looks and wardrobes. </p>

<p>If you want to “get away” why not volunteer and make a difference to some one? You could see some more of the world and not cost your folks a fortune and show some responsibility and caring for others. A year of service where you focused on others might increase their faith that you wouldn’t be trotting off to SMU to then demand the latest in fashions and cars. </p>

<p>Put your self in their shoes a moment. They have a kid who is NOT responsible when she’s right under their noses. Would you want to shell out big bucks for that character to be far away at a known party school?</p>

<p>So, you do have a problem. You want to go to SMU but you haven’t earned the privilege to do so. Why not submit an application to SMU (that YOU pay the fee for) as well as at least two choices that your parents suggest (one per parent) and then work your AXX off between now and acceptance time to show you could handle the responsibility of being away. Basically what you are doing is asking your parents to “Defer the No”. They still have the option of saying no after the acceptance letter is in – but that at least gives you some months to shape up and keeps your hopes alive. </p>

<p>But it’s only fair if you agree to do the best possible applications to the parental two choices (no immature sabatouging those options). </p>

<p>Once you’ve heard from the three schools, then you can sit down and make the case for your preference. Hopefully the person making her case has given a lot and demanded little in the intervening months.</p>

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<p>I’m saying my parents like having the feel of entitlement. At least that is what it comes off as. </p>

<p>Believe me, I am trying! I applied to 10 places and still haven’t heard back.</p>

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<p>FOR THE RECORD: I AM A DUDE</p>

<p>SECONDLY, I re-read my post and just discovered the type of perceptions I may be giving to an outside source, given that I don’t know you, and you don’t know me.</p>

<p>Am I perfect? No. No one is, when I say make poor choices they are strictly innocent. I’m not some horrible kid who goes around fu**ing around, off of their parents money. It’s the little things that add up which frustrate my parents. i.e. talking on the phone wile driving, parking tickets, urinating in public, etc.</p>

<p>Yes I play hard, but I work hard as well. Finishing both semesters with a 3.6 GPA. </p>

<p>I am an ambitious individual which is quite rare for my age. In high school, my parents were kind enough to fund outside of school programs such as mock trial camps and California’s statewide program: Youth & Government.</p>

<p>I am going to go to Harvard Law School where I will graduate and take what I learned there and bring it back here (CA). My main goal/want in life is to become the District Attorney of Los Angeles, following the foot steps of my mom except for the fact that she is a public defender. </p>

<p>I don’t know why I don’t have a job but I have looked, I can’t control who decides to hire me and who does not. </p>

<p>I have scored an internship at the DA’s office next summer. </p>

<p>Also, I have served as an active member in Habitat for Humanity, building houses for the people who can’t afford any.</p>

<p>SMU might be random but I have seen the campus and its awesome. It’s big, open, and inviting. Everything is active on the campus and not in isolation like where I am now. </p>

<p>Lastly, the finances which incidentally suffered a dramatic increase in tuition within the UC system that my parents would like to see me go to. The prices now are just about the same as USC and SMU, so really, it isn’t the money that is the issue. It’s them not wanting to let go and let me pursue my independence.</p>

<p>And isn’t college the years that are supposed to define you and the rest of your life? Doesn’t part of the role of being a parent require you to make sacrifices for your kids?
Is me wanting to go to a college that I can easily assimilate myself to so bad? Not every school is made for everyone.</p>

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<p>Do I detect a ■■■■■, perhaps? </p>

<p>Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I897 using CC App</p>

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<p>^ A funny one

</p>

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<p>

Assuming full-pay, the cost of a UC is nowhere near the cost of USC. If you’re living on campus a UC will be about half the cost of USC and if you commute to a UC it’ll be about a third of the price of USC. If you go to a CSU it’ll be quite a bit less - you could attend 4 years at a CSU for less than the cost of one year at USC and have enough left over to buy a decent used car - assuming commuting to either.</p>

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<p>Assuming full-pay, the cost of a UC is nowhere near the cost of USC. If you’re living on campus a UC will be about half the cost of USC and if you commute to a UC it’ll be about a third of the price of USC. If you go to a CSU it’ll be quite a bit less - you could attend 4 years at a CSU for less than the cost of one year at USC and have enough left over to buy a decent used car - assuming commuting to either.</p>

<p>Since I would be transferring as a junior next fall I would not be living on campus.
And I already have more than a decent car.</p>

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<p>If you aren’t a ■■■■■…you’re certainly doing a good job convincing us your parents are right in wanting to keep close tabs on you. </p>

<p>FWIW, if you want to go to law school it’s a huge mistake to major in pre-law and/or criminal justice. And if you have a 3.6, you’ll need a near perfect LSAT to get into Harvard Law School. The 25th/75th UGPA for the HLS class of 2013 is 3.78/3.96. You’re not “on track.” </p>

<p>And if you want to go to law school, you’re going to need about $150,000 for law school. So, it makes sense to save some now to help pay for it.</p>

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<p>^^ It’s still money. USC is $42k/yr for tuition only - not counting other fees or housing. In contrast a UC is somewhere around $12K, and a CSU is quite a bit less than the UC.</p>

<p>Multiply the years by 2-3 and you can see that the difference in cost is significant and therefore something your parents have a legitimate right to consider.</p>

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<p>I’m still open-mouthed that some rich kiddo from CA who has parents who would pay for USC would want to go to SMU…talk about clueless. ■■■■■ ?</p>

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<p>I feel like you’re ■■■■■■■■, but if you’re not, why are you turning down USC over SMU? I <em>love</em> SMU, don’t get me wrong, but USC > SMU. I understand wanting to get away but come on, man.</p>

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<p>"I am going to go to Harvard Law School where I will graduate and take what I learned there and bring it back here (CA). My main goal/want in life is to become the District Attorney of Los Angeles, following the foot steps of my mom except for the fact that she is a public defender. "</p>

<p>Hahaha… hilarious. You’re not going to Harvard Law with a 3.6, and you’re certainly not going with a bunch of misdemeanors like urinating in public. Seriously? Who does that? </p>

<p>Finally, if you want to go to Harvard, or any law school, you should set yourself up by going to the best undergrad available. Since you live in California and can pay in-state tuition at any one of the U.C.'s, you’re a fool to choose SMU. All of the UCs are fine schools and if you can get into Berkeley or UCLA and excel, you’re set.</p>

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<p>Ok then thanks to calgirl77, this thread can be done.</p>

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<p>If you truly want to come back to SoCal, there is no better Alumni network than USC. The above posters are right, if you are going to need to plan to pay for law school then you need to save $ on undergrad, UCLA would also give you more cachet than SMU.</p>

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<p>Very immature kid- “DUDE” doesn’t tell us anything, he/she/it? Refusal to attend public U’s, claims to be more ambitious, misbehaved at his college… No wonder parents refuse to subsidize his whims. ■■■■■? Lesson for other students- no sympathy from parents when you act like a child instead of the adult you are becoming.</p>