<p>I love sleeping, and I'm a morning person. As a result I go to bed early by college standard ( around 10 p.m till 11 p.m). My roommate during my freshman year let me sleep in early, but my roommate this year doesn't like it. So, now I have been sleeping later, and i'm losing too much sleep, to the point I fall asleep in class. It's killing me, this is the 4th week i'm sleep deprived. She also let her friends leave trash on my desk, and one of them left a puddle underneath my desk and fridge because they let a bag of ice melt. She is a good friend of mine, and I don't want it to be destroyed. How do I handle this, and talk to her nicely without hurting her feeling?</p>
<p>Tell her to stop. She is over-stepping her bounds. If she continues to invade your space and sleep schedule, tell your dormitory adviser/counselor.</p>
<p>Here’s what I would say:</p>
<p>“Hey (name)! Listen, I know that you like to stay up later than I do, but it really messes me up when I don’t get to bed by a certain time. Please be considerate of that.”</p>
<p>Later, once that major problem is dealt with to your satisfaction, bring up the fact that you don’t like it when she lets her friends make a mess in your room.</p>
<p>Or she could deal with both problems at once >__> Just be stern. This isn’t difficult.</p>
<p>Wow. I can’t believe that:
- Any roommate would think that they have a right to dictate your sleep schedule.
- Anybody would allow their roommate to treat them like that.
- You could possibly care more about her feelings than you do about making things right.</p>
<p>Here’s my advice: Tell her that the next time she intentionally wakes you up unsolicited, you are going to use her face for batting practice.
Seriously, you should probably get some earplugs, too. I know I would be even more sleep-deprived if I didn’t have any.</p>
<p>Your roommate sounds like she’s being pretty inconsiderate (especially if she’s letting her friends over on your side of the room without your permission). I think it’s probably time that you two had a talk about boundaries and things, including your sleep schedule. The important thing to remember is that you’re SHARING the room- neither one of you is more important than the other. You have the right to go to sleep and wake up whenever you want to.</p>
<p>Tell her to stop, and if not, talk to the RA.</p>
<p>Tell her that you’re both adults and that she needs to start acting like it. When you want to sleep is your business and nobody else’s. Also tell her that you have no problem with her having friends over, but that they need to stay on her side of the room. Really thats simple courtesy.</p>
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<p>If she is then you should have already discussed room rules. </p>
<p>If you haven’t discuss rules/boundries, now is a great time. Let her know your sleep schedule, discuss hers, and discuss room sharing rules. That’s what good friends do. She’s not a mind reader.</p>
<p>Thanks everyone for the advice! As a note, my roommate and I have already done Roommate Agreements long ago, and discussed sharing, sleep schedules, and priorities.
The problem is that, I tell my roommate pretty much three times a week that I need to go to sleep early, or I’m going to sleep already and she retorts back ( like “Why won’t you try sleeping later or sleep in” or "Really? You’re sleeping already? It’s only 10:30!). I feel bad, so of course I stay later, closer to her bedtime. Sometimes she have her boyfriend over (another good friend of mine) or this guy friend of hers over late at night, and they stay there even when I’m sleeping. I’m not American, and I have different cultural rules. I feel very awkward when they’re over, so I also don’t sleep till they leave.
I know its easier said than done when many suggest that I simply talk to her about it, but obviously that’s a tactic that’s not working so far. Also, is 10:00 P.M-10:30 P.M really early to sleep?</p>
<p>For me, it would be. But my schedule keeps me out late. If you slept at your normal time, how much sleep would you get?</p>
<p>If it’s not working for you, then tell her. People cannot read your mind. And if you feel uncomfortable having people there when you want to sleep, tell her that too. You are paying for 1/2 the room. You said you have agreed upon rules…sounds like you need to review them.</p>
<p>This is peer pressure…maybe you should pressure her to go to sleep early LOL.</p>
<p>@clarinette: my normal time is 10 p.m. I love getting up early in the morning and going to the gym, doing homework for class, and studying. I’m a morning person, and afternoons are reserved for classes, extracurriculars, and hanging out with friends. I tried peer pressuring her to sleep early, but normal college students sleep past 1 a.m, lol</p>
<p>damn i applaud you for getting to bed that early…an early night for me would be like 2AM haha…normally its like 4AM for me…i hate mornings.</p>
<p>Earplugs + Sleeping Mask = Happiness :)</p>
<p>You’re done. Change roomates.</p>
<p>Honestly this is why I don’t like to room with friends. Simple issues can get way too personal! I know how you feel, my roommate used to always stay up later than me- she wouldn’t even start on her homework until around midnight, lol. Trying to use Ipods and sleep masks to block out sound and light can be annoying, and it’s your room too so you shouldn’t have to resort to that. </p>
<p>Definitely tell her that you don’t feel comfortable having people over while you’re sleeping. Ask her if she has friends over or needs to do something like talk on the phone while you’re sleeping, to go to the lobby or study lounge of your dorm. Also ask her to make sure her friends give your side of the room more respect when they come over.</p>
<p>Your arguments aren’t crazy, you have every right to have a peaceful dorm experience. Talk to your roommate about these issues and if necessary, talk to your RA. Especially if she has guys or friends over when you’re sleeping again get up and go talk to an RA right then and there if you need to.</p>
<p>I know talking is easier said than done, but really the only thing you can do is keep working to getting her to understand. Don’t feel bad about going to a higher authority, like your RA or the person who is over your dorm building. Don’t let the fact that she’s your friend make you feel bad. If she does try to make you feel bad for talking, remind her that you guys agreed to be roommates and to not let your friendship get in the way of that.</p>