How do I get my parents off my back?

<p>Well, I'm a second generation Asian-American. I assume we all know the stereotype of Asian parents wanting their kid to go to one of the Ivies, especially Harvard. I'm only a junior right now, but my parents bug me a lot about colleges. I do think that with my stats, I have a shot, but these schools seem like they're for intellectual people with a passion for learning. It may be that I'm just fed up with my parents griping, but I don't think I'd be a fit for these schools.</p>

<p>So I think that if I find a school I'm really passionate about attending, they might get off my back. How can I go about finding one? If you guys want to counsel me here, ask for some info and I'll be glad to tell you.</p>

<p>fight for freedom. at whatever costs</p>

<p>That's not very specific =&lt;/p>

<p>I've argued with them a number of times. No luck. So I'm asking what action I should take ;)</p>

<p>They always whip out the "If you go to Harvard you can make $xx right out of college, whereas if you go to Local Community College, you'll only make $yy!" argument. I don't think they understand going to a good school like UT-Austin or a very good school like Duke might yield similar results.</p>

<p>I have Asian parents too.</p>

<p>They're probably (if not certainly) more narrow-minded than American-born parents. Because they had to crawl on hand and knee just to get to school everyday, I'm supposed to do the same.</p>

<p>On the bright side, my parents have become more understanding over the year (ex. They no longer require me to practice the piano and violin for 3+ hours a day, etc.). However, my mom keeps telling me that I told her that I wanted to be a doctor. </p>

<p>Well, this didn't bring you any insight, but at least you'll have my empathy!!</p>

<p>Violin and Piano=Azn.</p>

<p>But DOCTOR? Are you Indian? comeon...</p>

<p>LOL. Stereotypes are fun.</p>

<p>i know how you feel, arti...talking to them just won't make any difference (other than you being labeled a stubborn brat or wait-till-you're-sorry child)</p>

<p>I think you're right to try to find a school you're passionate about. My parents weren't bent on the Ivy route, but my father, his parents, and his great grandmother had all gone to the same school. Unfortunately, I didn't find it to be a match, so there was a lot of clashing. In fact, there kind of still was until I graduated from high school enroute to a different college, but they eventually came around, and even if they'd still bring it up from time to time, it was nothing close to the all out wars we were having before.</p>

<p>I've found Princetonreview really helpful in finding schools I didn't know were out there. It's a good option if you're not set on brand name value and prestige (but if it's a school your parents have never heard of, they might veto the idea all together). You could even just buy a copy of newsweek and start on the list at whatever range your scores start to fall in, and look up schools to see their individual characteristics. Most of the schools they feature are fairly well known, so it's more likely both you and your parents will find a common ground.</p>

<p>psh you think you have it bad...i have two old school italians off the boat as my parents (yea they dont get enuf credit for being strict). My brother is at the naval academy and here i am being pressured by my parents to basically live up to my brother and go to a good school, while getting the guilt trip of how they had it hard growing up...you know the story. AHH!</p>

<p>My dad is also a marine if that makes it easier to understand the naval academy concept. Still one of the best insitutions out there aside from that fact</p>

<p>Arti, there's a wide range of excellent schools between "community college" and the Ivies. For now, do extensive research to find several of these (buy a college guide, go to princetonreview.com or usnews.com) which fit your size, geographic, and academic desires and your parents' financial constraints. Many of these schools have absolutely terrific Honor's programs which may give you more personal attention than the Ivies, and may give decent merit aid, even "named" scholarships for those students with high stats. When you've selected a few that you think might fit you, dig up everything you can on the website or web about the benefits of that school to your future...famous graduates, %age of students going to grad or professional school, average starting salaries of graduates vs. HYP, etc. etc. Do you think you can discuss this with your guidance counselor first? Then go to your parents. Evidence of excellence is your best approach.</p>