Not Asian Enough

Pre-College Issues High School Life
1

<p>Sorry to bore you guys with one of these posts, but I really just need some advice. So I’m a current sophomore with Asian parents. You know, pretty hardcore. The reason I'm asking for help is because I'm pretty different from what my parents probably expect, and a bit out of the cultural norm. I'm not especially outstanding at math or science, but instead am more inclined towards English and history. My grades aren't outstanding and I'm 7 in my class of about 455 (which isn't terrible of course, but not good enough). My SAT which I took twice this year is a 2230, 2300 if superscored.</p>

<p>Anyway, that's just some background info. The problem is that I have no plan for the future. As in NONE. I don't know what major, what college, or anything. Of course that scares me, but I'm not someone who's especially passionate about anything. I've already made it clear I will not be a lawyer, doctor, or engineer. My mother and I just end up arguing everytime college is discussed, and I can tell she's at a loss. </p>

<p>I just don't want to be miserable for the rest of my life. Yeah I want to go to a good school, but I don't care about Ivy League. I'm not concerned about money or anything while my mother is. So does anyone know how to get my parents off my back? OR better yet, help me find my passion so I could at least have some sort of a plan? I don't like not knowing either. But that's where things are at right now, and that's where it's always been.</p>

<p>I'm rather desperate after another fallout today. I'm starting to think beggars can't be choosers. But I won't be able to survive decades in a job I'll hate, or four years studying something I despise.</p>

<p>How did you guys deal with this?</p>

<p>Thanks in advance.</p>

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<p>Ummm…
You’re 7/455 and 2300 SAT…
What exactly are your parents worried about…
You’re just a sophomore and you’ll find your passion and dream soon enough.
Try joining some EC’s. It really helped me out a lot.
Your parents are mostly on your back because they want what’s best for you (Good job = Good money).
Try telling them about what you want to do (once you figure it out) and tell them how it’s just as worthwhile as a doctor ^.^</p>

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<p>I stopped here. This is the problem. </p>

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<p>^LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL IKR</p>

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<p>“but not good enough). My SAT which I took twice this year is a 2230”</p>

<p>OH LORD, FORGIVE HIS PARENTS.</p>

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<p>Cry me a river.</p>

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<p>It’s very vexing to read these type of threads OP. You really don’t have to be decided of what you want to do as of now, just wait until Junior or Senior year when you get more passionate about the things you truly enjoy. People would kill for your SAT score and your class rank, stop complaining.</p>

<p>“My grades aren’t outstanding and I’m 7 in my class…”
How horrible could your grades be if you’re 7th?</p>

<p>Be thankful for what you have rather than the little you don’t academically.</p>

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<p>@2016xiejia I just want to say that even if other people are trivializing your problem that what you’re going through is certainly legitimate, and I hear you, as a fellow Asian.</p>

<p>Moving on. I hope you realize that you need to distinguish your parents (ridiculously) high standards from what are actually realistic standards. I suspect your apparent disappointment/tepid perspective on your academic performance comes from big expectations from your parents, but I hope that when you say that being number 7 in your class isn’t good enough that you mean that it’s not good enough for your parents. Although most people don’t exactly put it in the nicest ways, being in the top 10 of your class or scoring a 2200 on the SAT are fantastic accomplishments regardless of what your parents say. Just getting a 2000 on the SAT puts you in the top 90% in the nation. I’m not saying you need to argue with your parents about what’s “good enough” and what’s not, because I understand that that may not be an option; but just keep all that in mind and remember that you are only “not good enough” if you don’t feel you’ve reached your full potential. </p>

<p>As for your main issue about career choices, honestly, unless you want to teach English in the US where 47% of all teachers quit at some point, I’d really advise against fully pursuing English and history. You could double-major in English or history and something else, perhaps, but don’t do the one major or you may find yourself screwed over in this job market. </p>

<p>As @apandia said, you’re still a sophomore so you do have some time to explore and try different things and find something you like. If you have time, perhaps you could try going to different school clubs or doing new competitions. Or maybe try reading the newspaper and take note at what news topics interest you; that might point you towards a potential career path. </p>

<p>You probably can’t get your parents “off your back” unless you don’t mind living in a house with an atmosphere of perpetual disappointment. And it’s important to be concerned about money to a certain extent, really - it’s called being practical, and imho a lot of people, especially youth, discount the importance of decent employment until they don’t have it. You don’t need to have 6-digit salaries, but I hope you get my drift. I think “not caring” about Ivy Leagues, though, really depends on why it is you don’t care. In various fields (and probably in the humanities and - wow - English and history!) some Ivy League schools offer excellent education, so I don’t see why you wouldn’t be interested then. If you don’t care about college prestige, well, that’s perfectly fine and another story.</p>

<p>Last thing, most people go through life never truly truly finding a passion. They usually just find something they like but balance work, play, friends, family, and hobbies so that they have a lot of different ways to find fulfillment. Even if you don’t like “not knowing,” well, sucks for you XD life’s about waiting sometimes, and you may have to wait a bit before you figure things out. Perhaps you could talk to your guidance counselor for career advice, perhaps ask about stable careers that involve good English/history skills.</p>

<p>It’s a mouthful, I know lol. anyway if you want to talk further feel free to PM me. Best of luck!</p>

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<p>Hey OP, I see you are crying over your 2230 SAT.</p>

<p>Here, use my 1840 to wipe your tears.</p>

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<p>Don’t worry, you sound perfectly stereotypical to me! Your problem is that you’re incredibly bland, not that your class rank or SAT’s aren’t high enough.</p>

<p>This is the kind of post that perpetuates CC’s reputation as the snobbiest place on the internet. </p>

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<p>OP, here’s the best career/passion advice I’ve heard (from a government official at a Cornell event): open a newspaper, find the most interesting headlines you’d love to read, pursue something in that field. Whatever you’d read in a newspaper, go into that. </p>

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<p>You’re a disgrace to the asian heritage. Ranked 7!? Do you even think you’re going to go to college if you’re ranked 7? Consider enrolling in your local CC. Not even 2300 in single sitting. Another disgrace… Only way to survive in this competitive world is to start your own laundry service.</p>

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<p>I have strict Asian parents too so I really can relate to your problems. The thing is, you have to explain to them that a 2200 SAT score isn’t bad at all! And you need to understand yourself that you do not have a so-called “bad GPA”. Not if you have that score! Ranking 7/455 is not the end of the world. Be grateful that you are in the 10% and strive to move up.
Again, you are ONLY a sophomore. There is plenty of time to improve your score and rank. You will keep learning and studying, so there is a good chance you might even score a 2400 as a senior. It really irritates me when I see posts like these… When people with freaking 2200s and up are moping about their score. Meanwhile, many people are struggling simply to even reach the 2000s.
I can’t say “talk to your parents” because I can totally understand how scary that is and how quickly Asian parents are to shut you down and make you feel worthless. So just wait it out, continue to get good grades. Find what you want to be in life and try to get your parents to understand. They might not accept it at first; but they’re your parents, they’re bound to EVENTUALLY come around. </p>

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<p>“I’m 7 in my class of about 455 (which isn’t terrible of course, but not good enough).”
^ You are in the top 1.5%. That’s certainly good enough.</p>

<p>“My SAT which I took twice this year is a 2230, 2300 if superscored.”
^ That’s a great score, especially for a sophomore. If you think you can improve more, take it once more next year, or maybe try the ACT, but a 2230 is probably above the median score at most Ivies. Check out the Common Data Sets for top colleges if you’re worried.</p>

<p>“As in NONE. I don’t know what major, what college, or anything.”
^ I didn’t pick a major until the summer before senior year, and it took me forever to find colleges after that. You have plenty of time. Don’t worry about it. I was, similarly, not someone who is passionate about things–I only knew that I didn’t want to be a doctor, didn’t want to be a lawyer, didn’t want to be a teacher, etc. I eventually decided on engineering. You’ll find your calling (I’m hoping engineering is mine), and even if that doesn’t happen before college, there’s a little thing called “majoring undecided.” :slight_smile: Try experiencing different areas to expose yourself to possible interests–join clubs, teams, activities. But don’t sweat it if you don’t have any idea for a long time.</p>

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<p>How the hell is 7 out of 455 “not good enough”? Umad? That’s amazing! </p>

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<p>First, just going to rage a bit at some of the people who seem to be kind of ignorant or maybe simply envious in this post- to those who are saying that OP should stop complaining about what are by many standards already exceptional academics, and to those who insinuate that he is just bragging about his accomplishments- two things. First, please take the time and consideration to realize that the standards by which OP’s parents hold him to, and naturally then the standards OP holds himself to (whether he likes or realizes it or not), simply aren’t the same standards that the average family or society in general applies to High School students. He’s expected to be top of his class, with a straight A+ GPA and nearly perfect, 2300+ SATs, and he doesn’t cite his current record because he wants to impress others, but because he geniunely feels that they aren’t enough, a view that someone very reasonably can have when the previously mentioned standards are the ones put upon him by his family from his day of birth. Second of all, you guys are missing the entire point of the post- OP isn’t trying to figure out ways to improve his grades or even complaining about them. The main issue he’s trying to work out here is the conflicting future goals of him and his mother and also that of figuring out his path and passion in life in general, an issue that I’m pretty sure is common to all people and would’ve probably been answered by many people here had they not overreacted to the grades posted instead. I really wish that more of the people on this forum could be more accepting of the different situations people are in, and try to rationally see what help others are truly trying to get. Alright, rant over.</p>

<p>OP, I actually took the time to write out this rant and a response in general because I’m going through, more or less, the exact same thing that you are- an asian sophomore dude (wait- you never actually mentioned your gender, whoops) with a whole lotta stress laid down by both myself and my parents, worrying about college and a career path, a similar academic record, and general doubts about the future in general. Heck- I even have more or less the same academic interests as you- instead of being the regular STEM asian, I generally feel more inclined towards liberal artsy stuff as well. And recently, while trying to figure out my plans for the next 2-3 years as to my specific focuses in life, with my parents pressuring me to stick with a science research program that I’m currently enrolled in, I felt pretty screwed too, stuck between a rock and a hard place, except in this case the rock would be an extremely unsatisfying career for life and the hard place would be eternal living hell a la asian parent disapointment. And I too have not planned out what I want to do, both for the rest of high school and for life. In fact, after typing up a wall of text, I realize that I don’t really have much advice to offer you because I still haven’t figured this stuff out myself. </p>

<p>But what I did want to do was to offer you some hope and encouragement and all that fluffy good stuff. First, I wanted to just show you that you aren’t the only one out there suffering through you situation, and from this fact you can take that you’ll probably survive through this period of crap- at least, that’s what I’d like to hope after seeing your post. Secondly, I want to point out the fact that you’ve already identified history and writing as being your interests, and I think that this is a good first step towards trying to find a passion in life. Obviously you’ve put some form of thought into this stuff, and that’s a good start- going out and trying things might be the next step, as there’s plenty that you can do to try to see if you really do have a passion in something English/History related in life. I know that a whole bunch of museum, journalism, and maybe even political internships (if you’re into that stuff) are out there, and additionally, TASP is an excellent and highly prestigious summer program more in the realm of liberal arts (It’s like the equivalent of RSI in STEM) that you might want to consider applying to, both to explore for yourself your interest in the subjects and also to show your parents that you do have a passion for them and that there are legitimate, stable careers out there aside from being a doctor or engineer. I guess that’s it for my two cents on your problem- I’ll go back to worrying about figuring out my own life, and I wish you luck in figuring out yours!</p>

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<p>Common, your supposed to be rank 1, 2300+ 1 sitting, win USAMO. Win international piano competitions. Play sports and get 10 hours of sleep.It’s completely possible. Google Allen Yuan.</p>

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<p>Dang it…just laughed orange juice all over my keyboard. </p>

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<p>… O_O
How about you just close your eyes for a minute, breathe, and go take a nice walk outside and think about how beautiful life is. Think about the other kids in your class who are constantly depressed about life because no matter how hard they try they still can’t even get scores any where near as good as yours…
Please. You’re only a sophomore. Stop worrying. Go join clubs, sports, and other E.C’s.
You don’t need to find your passion at age 15? 16?
Chill. You have TWO WHOLE YEARS AHEAD OF YOU. </p>

<p>Asian parents or not, they just want the best for you. Ignore them for now. You have already fulfilled your duty as an asian child for getting those scores. If they are not satisfied, that’s their problem. lol</p>

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<p>■■■■■ much? </p>