How do I send “thank you for rejecting me” emails without sounding pathetic

Applying to College
1

There are a few schools that rejected me but I would like to thank my admissions officer, as I spoke to many of them and they were quite friendly with me.

I’d like to thank them for taking the time to consider me, even though they couldnt offer me admission, but I dont want to sound pathetic or like I’m begging to be let in.

Additionally, I kinda googled my Tulane AO and found a school article she published about homosexuality. Do you think she’d be freaked if I emailed her and told her that I read it and thought she was awesome? I dont want to come off as creepy lol

2

The opportunity to express your genuine feelings will be brief. I recommend you thank anyone who has been particularly helpful to you for their “kind support throughout the process.” Regarding a mention of that article, the AO should be pleased that it found a wider audience than she might have thought.

3

Honestly I would not bother to send thank you notes. The admissions officers were simply doing their job by being kind/friendly to you. Its time to move on and focus on your acceptances.

4

You don’t. You just move on and celebrate and love the schools that have shown you love.

5

Move on!

6

No thank you cards necessary, this isn’t Junior League.

7

Don’t bother.

8

The time to send a thank you note would have been within days of when they helped you. With rejections in the rearview mirror, I’d agree with those who say there’s now no need.

9

I’m well aware that they aren’t necessary or wont do me any good lol…

Not everything has to be done for personal gain

10

@LittleLiam If you were competitive for admissions to one of these schools and you would like to apply for transfer during or after freshman year, then it can’t hurt to keep the rapport with the AO for the school you would like to transfer to. So for that AO you can reach out with a short thank you note and mention that you hope you may be able to apply again in the near future for a transfer, since you really liked the school/program and think it would be a good fit. But for the other schools you are not interested in, probably no need at all to waste your limited time and energy on it. They won’t know the difference if you send them anything or not.

11

If you sincerely want to thank someone, just do that. It’s ok and perhaps will allow you to “move on” and put this chapter behind you as other posters have suggested.

I would send something like this…

“Dear Ms. X -

I want to thank you for the time and attention you provided to me as my regional advisor during the 2019 admissions process.

And despite it not ending as I had hoped, you were always professional and kind to me.

Thank you.

As an aside, I came across an article you had written a few years ago about being a LGBTQ student at Tulane. It really resonated with me as a LGBTQ ally.

Thanks again,

Sally Jones
Mobile, Alabama”

12

You are better off writing a note to a school that accepts you, but you decide to turn down. If you decide to transfer later, you might benefit.

13

Wow, tough bunch. @LittleLiam I commend you and say go for it. As someone who worked for a university for 35 years I always remember the people who took the time to thank me when it didn’t benefit them. If you have a particular person that helped you, send a quick thank you. The next person who comes along will benefit from it.

14

Giving thanks and forgiveness are gifts you give to yourself.

Go write the darn note or email. It will done by the time you are done reading these posts.

And thanks for being a kid who has wonderful manners. Thank you notes are always a class move.

And heck, maybe by rejecting you, your real gift awaits you and never would have happened if they said yes.

15

I think it’s so nice that you want to thank people who have helped you along the way! And that you should absolutely do so!

A quick email-- 2 or 3 sentences at most-- would be so appreciated by the receiver.

This isn’t about any sort of gain. It’s about the person you are-- apparently thoughtful and appreciative.

Good manners are never “pathetic.”

Go for it.

16

The main idea is that you are now stepping outside the “supplicant/provider” role and communicating person to person. Everyone likes that if you have something nice to say. Probably the nicest thing you could say would be about the places you where you were accepted, how happy you are about how things turned out and how appreciative you are for their time and assistance.

17

I agree that if you feel a thanks is in order, go ahead and send a card or email. It certainly won’t hurt, and may make an overworked AdCom staffer feel good about their job and their effort.