Thanks for everyone’s useful suggestions. My daughter will read this and I am sure it will help all of us be more informed about whichever college she chooses in the end.
We went through this last year and it was agony until the very end of April. My suggestion would be to attend as many admitted student days as you can. Every interaction will help her decide whether she will fit at that school. Also, if you can arrange a shadow day where she can sit in on some classes and meet a student or two on a more personal level, that will be very helpful. Sit down and write out a pros/cons list. This is a must. We used a huge piece of posterboard. Have her monitor the schools’ social media, the various twitter accounts, Instagram and yes, even Yik Yak. This will give her a sense of what’s going on on campus. Then at the very end if she still can’t make a decision, break out the coin. The coin toss will tell her what her heart wants. Works every time. Good luck 
@Lindagaf, I could have written your first paragraph myself, down to the number of apps and EA admittances. It also sounds like our kids have at least one school in common. I’ll be following this thread closely!
My major concern now is how to fit in visits to the top contenders in April. D’s schools are literally all over the map and even if money were no object (and I see how this is an investment), I just can’t see how we are going to be able three or four schools during April. The ones that seem to be rising to the top (and the two she is already admitted to) happen to be the very ones we haven’t seen. We can’t even consider taking the time to do any trips before April. Do I make reservations now and count on cancelling some? Do I just bite the bullet and pay crazy fares to fly across the country? How much of an effort do we make to actually attend the admitted student days, as opposed to just doing a visit by ourselves?
@PNWedwonk, for whatever it’s worth, when my daughter did her post-acceptance visits, we just sent her solo. Schools generally anticipate that a number of kids will be traveling by themselves and are quite accommodating. It’s still a lot of time and money, but less than if you’re buying plane tickets and hotel reservations for a parent as well. I think she had fun with the independent adventuring. Just something to consider.
Lol, Mom’s pick just went to the top of the D16’s list at our house too!
Sent D16 on a solo visit to one school a few weeks ago and it successfully killed off 3 schools on her accepted list.
^^^ Plus, it’s good practice to see whether they want to do that travel two-four times a year. I accompanied ds1 to Carleton for his second visit, my first, because I’d never seen the campus. I wasn’t going to go, but a friend convinced me to quit being cheap and to go as I would feel much better sending him there in the fall – 1,000 miles away – if I had seen and loved the place. That was great advice. If I had been there before, I probably wouldn’t have gone.
@PNWedwonk , excellent questions, and we have had the same thoughts! Our D has applied to colleges in Minnesota, Ohio, Maine, and Washington state. TBH, I actually have sort of decided that if she gets more than 6 accpetances, there will have to be some culling. If, by a miracle, she gets into Brown, that is the only college she says she wont need to visit again. She visited twice and loves it. She is doing two accepted students days before April for her EA schools. And I have been told by several people that it is just as good, if not better, to go on a reguslr day at a college, when they aren’t putting on a show for accpeted kids. So we will do it that way if necessary. If anyone has logistics tips on managing the visits themselves, please share.
If the student can stay on campus, this is a fine idea. But if a hotel is involved, it’s important to be very, very sure that a person the student’s age can check in alone. Some hotels have age restrictions.
This can be a tough call. As a family last year we had to decide between Notre Dame at $62K/year vs. Case Western, SMU, GW, Kenyon with $25K merit aid packages. We are by no means wealthy but had enough money socked away for at least the first 3 years anywhere. In the end we attended admitted student days at several schools. We found actually sitting in the classes to be very helpful. Not the special “admitted student day” classes but a normal run of the meal academic class. In the end we let her decide. As it turns out my variable pay this year has been low so she actually qualifies for $15K in financial aid at Notre Dame leveling the playing field a bit. In a perfect world we would have this money vs. prestige discussion in the fall of their senior year before sending in the applications
We loved our regular-day visits. At his second-choice school (we went the day after we visited Carleton and knew the decision was made, but there was no time to cancel!), they set up a series of meetings so it wasn’t exactly anonymous, but ds was so impressed with how much effort went into his visit. They had a few students treat us at the faculty dining hall, and ds whispered to me, “If I knew I would get shrimp every day, I’d go here!”
We too appreciated the more personalized regular-day visit compared to the more scripted “admitted-student day” group visits. I’m not sure whether large universities have the resources to set up these individualized schedules, but we found that for LACs they really offer an opportunity to meet students and faculty in areas of interest and to experience a pretty accurate glimpse of life on campus.
prof, the shrimp place was, in fact, a large university, but ds was an interesting combination for them (Hispanic male interested in a hard science with awesome stats and more) and so I think they really wanted him. He just caught the eye of a good recruiter, I guess. We were kind of sad to say no, but coming off the overnight at Carleton, where he was so won over by the students he spent time with and the classroom profs … he just knew he belonged in MN.
No, we did not set it up so there was a benefit for her. However, my daughter understands how hard we work for our money and is respectful of that. I never doubted that she would value our money the same (or nearly the same) as she would value her own. In fact, she will get the benefit of that money, but we did not tell her that at the time, and still have not told her.
@lindagraf What is her intended major?
She is undeclared, but she is leaning strongly towards psychology and English, maybe art too.