My child has gotten into a great group of schools. I am proud of him. He has no burning #1 choice. I am looking from guidance about how to factor money into this circumstance. Should he visit all the remaining options (6) and see if one just “speaks to him” more in terms of fit? OR, should we eliminate those who are giving the least money, with the rationale that the upper ones can’t be worth $$40,000 more than the others he would be content to attend? The more expensive are generally more selective. They all offer the general setting and major he wants. Next steps to narrow it to one???
You really should have set parameters with him before he applied. If you would only pay a certain amount, it would have been better to tell him ahead of time instead of after he was accepted.
In my opinion, some schools are worth more in some situations. If your family can afford it and you let him apply with no constraints, then I’d let him go to accepted student visits at his top 3 choices (his preference). If you can’t afford it, now is better than never to explain your financial constraints and tell him which schools he is limited to from those that accepted him.
We did not know in advance where he would get money (he has gotten substantial grants or scholarships at all).
For my kid, we have 8 that came in under budget, but some scrape just under and others are well under. Visiting all 8 is not practical. None are close by, but she has narrowed it down to 3 which are going to visit, and she will probably decide based on feel.
Money wise, we still have one of the higher cost schools still in play (just under budget) and the two least expensive have been eliminated for other reasons. So it’s a combination of money and other factors. At least one school that had not been at the top of the list moved there for money reasons – it’s a great school that we had kind of discounted, but they showed a lot of interest financially, which made us take another look. Love the school that loves you back…
I’ve told my daughter she is free to choose the more expensive, under-budget school, but it needs to feel a whole lot better than the less expensive one.
Focus on fit. He may be the type who would be happy anywhere (in which case go with the lower cost option), or he may not understand that there truly are differences in school’s cultures. You may have a handful of schools that are about the same size, similarly ranked, offer the right major, etc., but the on-campus experience can be very different. Variables may include the obvious (setting (urban, suburban, rural), the emphasis on Greek life and/or sports, the grading approach (some schools are proud of their grade deflation)), but also typical student “types” (preppy, gamers, artsy), and student stress levels. My teenage son (S17) did not internalize these differences until he experienced a not-great fit this past year. Then he had an “Aha” moment and may transfer. Visit where you can, research the others carefully.
I also recommend checking the GPA requirements to maintain merit awards for each school so there are no surprises. If a cumulative GPA of 3.75 is required to maintain a scholarship and your student is in a notoriously difficult major it may be another level of stress to attend that school. Chose one that has realistic GPA requirements relative to the intended major. Kids who are used to getting A’s in high school often find it is not as easy in college.
As for the cost difference, only your family can decide the “right” amount to pay for a certain school, but proceed with caution if taking on debt is involved . CC has legions of folks who can give you detailed information, but my understanding is that student loans outside of subsidized government loans begin accruing interest when you take out the loan, which means they are accruing interest throughout the entire time your student is enrolled.
If he needed to get merit for a school to be considered in the final mix, it should have been communicated ahead of time.
@intparent, the OP doesn’t seem to be saying they can’t afford the more expensive schools, just wondering how to tell if the extra money is worth it.
That is part of what I’m getting at. I don’t think parents should come in late in the game with financial constraints that they didn’t make clear early on. If you let your kids apply to a school and CAN afford it, then let them decide based on fit. A kid would be justified in being frustrated at being pushed to the low cost option if it wasn’t discussed when applying.
Good advice above. Understand how “certain” you are to get money in the outgoing years. And when you talk to your son, have him look at the 4 year cost with you…not just the annual cost. But yes, time to have the money talk with him. Money matters (for most families).
Unless these parents told their kid ahead of time we will pay for any school you are accepted at, I think it’s fine to discuss realistically. Parents are under no obligation to pay for a school just because they allowed their kid to apply and they were offered a spot. It’s not always easy to figure out what kind of number is realistic to your family ahead of time and it isn’t always clear what you’re going to get for your dollar until you get the opportunity to look at a bunch of options. Especially when you can’t actually afford your EFC.
Helping your kid balance fit and value is a good life skill. Particularly if any level of debt might be involved for the student or the family. I’m not saying the low cost school is always the right choice of course. It also greatly benefits your kids to have a well funded retirement. I’m always puzzled by these threads that berate parents for not having a super clear picture ahead of time. Especially when they’re going through it with their oldest kid. The process is difficult and hard to anticipate.
I wouldn’t visit all 6. I’d talk through together maybe which 3 make the most sense to look at again. It’s totally fine if money comes into the discussion. It will be at many houses this spring.
Start with spreadsheet showing comparative costs - if there is financial aid like loans & work study factor those as an added cost rather than reduced cost. I found it very easy to create bar charts on Excel that could let my kids see at a glance where the schools stood cost-wise, both in terms of overall cost and the burden they would be taking on with work +loans.
If there are any schools out of the question cost wise, then let your kid know that --usually the bar chart makes it abundantly clear what the difference is. If you are willing and able to pay for everything – then that’s fine too – but still give your kid the chart.
The kid can explore other factors that are important to him as well, and if he is a chart kind of guy, then he might want to make his own chart assigning ranks or scores based on what he feels are important to him. That could be anything he values, not necessarily academic – whatever he values.
So you will then end up with more objective criteria to weigh cost/benefit. Narrow down the list to the top 2 or 3 and visit those, unless among those top 3 there are others in very close proximity (same city), or on the route you would take to get to a destination school if you happen to be driving.
Six schools sounds like a lot to visit this late in the game. What are your child’s interests? Greek life? Athletics? City in walking distance? You can have your child read College Niche. Take some of it with a grain of salt, but the overall feel does seem to come through in our experience. Also depending on major, some may be stronger than others. Investigate what the six offer and see if you can eliminate a few.
The $40,000 difference may or may not be too much. If this would be in addition to a large amount of loans our family would say not affordable. If there are no loans, and we had already discussed up front the budget and all were within range, we’d say it’s up to our child to decide. Good luck!
@intparent - I’m not sure that I agree that you can discuss everything beforehand.
If for example, your child is fond of both Boston College and Georgetown. You are comfortable with paying full freight if needed but what if Boston College offers $30k a year in scholarship. I don’t think that it would be reasonable for the student to go to Georgetown if he liked it only a bit better.
When my kid got her responses back, we were surprised by some of the merit aid. She didn’t have a top dream school, but she certainly had a few that were ranked higher on her list. After reviewing her list, I found a few of what I considered ‘top tier (for her search) schools’ that gave substantial merit aid. At that point, I decided a number that I am willing to pay that covered those schools. That assured me that she could choose an outstanding education based on her choices for what I considered to be a reasonable amount of money. Some of her ‘top choices’ didn’t give the aid. I was fine with her choosing them, as long as she figured out where the rest of the money was coming from. I hadn’t looked into it, and it wasn’t my responsibility to. If she wanted to FIND $20-30K a year to have a name, that was on her. I was willing to pay X. Anything above and beyond was her responsibility. Before everyone says that there was no way she could come up with that money, you’re probably right. But I wasn’t telling her that, that was her issue to resolve. In the end, she completely agreed, why on earth would she take out $80K in loans (IF she graduated in 4 years) when she could go to as awesome a school for X and have me foot the bill.
He definitely should visit his favorites (that are affordable). Fit certainly plays a part, but if he doesn’t have a favorite and likes a few, I would suggest focusing on the affordable options. Just my 2 cents. BTW, my daughter is thrilled with her choice, and is certainly living her best life.
Just lay them all out on the table with pros/cons, including the price tags. My son ruled out the most highly ranked (and most expensive) on his own because it would require more work for him to get the major and minor he wanted. The other 2 options were straight forward as they both had the specialized program he was looking for (which essentially included the minor). The OOS top 100 seems to be his top choice, but he hasn’t been on campus in 7 years, so we are headed to admitted students day to give it another look.
You should focus on the ones that have a real sense of fit in regards to his major and other possible career interests. What are the specific courses they offer that seem of interest? Is there enough variety? Are they offered EVERY semester… A college can have a nice campus, but if you can’t the Engineering Class or Finance class you want, it does pay to just hang out in the library. Which ones are contenders?
With rare exceptions, merit money is always going to be better at less exclusive schools. The most exclusive don’t need to offer merit to fill their class with high achieving, high scoring kids.
That being said, of course it makes sense to talk money at the end. Are you talking about a $40K difference TOTAL or per year? The latter is much more of a hurdle than the former.
It can be challenging to really figure out the financial aspects. There is no absolute answer - it depends so completely on the kids, the schools, and the cost differential. And, most importantly, if you can swing the higher costs or if your son is willing to take a loan. He needs to sit down (and you may have to facilitate that) and eliminate some of the schools and then visit the others and then weigh the pro and cons. It may be that one of the more expensive schools offers a lot more in terms of opportunities but it may be that the less expensive schools offer just as much.
Good luck to him!
@intparent - we actually did set parameters for our son. He knew that he was applying in state, public. Period. If he had received 3 equal offers of admittance, for example, it would have simply been a matter of picking the top choice. But when merit money, honors college and special program offers get put on the table, you find yourself looking at costs and value in a different way. If you can go to school A’s honors program plus graduate debt free that might make school B suddenly look too expensive to you. But that would hold true even if your initial parameters included OOS options, too.
It’s like going to the store to buy Brand A at Price X, only to find out when you get there that Brand B is on sale for Price 1/2X. In that case, you might abandon you plan to by Brand A, even if you can afford it and intended to buy it.
Has he visited any of these schools previously?
I think visits are essential in deciding. We did the usual tours and info sessions but honestly, the best way to get the vibe is to attend a class of his choosing, and then hanging out on the green, in the library, in the dining hall, or the bookstore. Perhaps he could do an overnight.
That is a lot of schools to still have in the running though.
Size, location, academics are all important but I do think it comes down to “vibe” and “gut feelings.”
I completely understand that he applied to these schools in hopes of merit aid and no way to know final costs.
If he goes to the more expensive options, how much debt will that involve and will he have to work a lot of hours during school and summer to pay?
I used to be in the “thrive anywhere” camp but have changed a bit due to experiences of my kids who so loved their “best fit” schools . If you have the money, let him decide. In fact, even when I did not have the money I let my kid decide on rank of choices (and luckily it fit financially- but it it hadn’t we would have talked).
Perhaps he can choose 4 schools and can visit, try some classes, stay overnight…and then you can discuss.