How do you deal with rejection??. I am really devastated!!!

Chance Me / Match Me!
1

Hi everyone!.

I am an international student and I applied to 7 graduate schools in the USA. I applied to programs in Neuroscience, because I wanted to do research in this field. During my 5 years of undergraduate preparation in my country, I worked extremely hard for this opportunity. I gave up my social life, my familiy, my friends, my couple, etc. I invested all my savings in courses, exams, applications, etc. I think that everything looked fine until I took the GRE exam. I got 146 in both section in spite of the fact that I studied extremely hard for this test, I even lost my hair because of the stress that this exams represented to me. It was embarrasing getting this score, I was devastated and completly ashamed, but some professors and friends encouraged me to apply. According to them and some persons on Internet, getting a low GRE score is not going to keep you out from graduate schools. I knew that my chances are lower with these scores, I have good research experience, teaching assistance, lots of scholarships, university and community services, graduated with honors, conferences, etc., etc., etc., and by the way, I could not retake the exam because of the deadline and my lack of money.

Well, I applied anyway. I sent my applications a day before the deadline because I was really depressed, however, I struggled writing a good SOP and getting good LOR. Today, I recieved my second rejection, and I am waiting to hear back from the other 5 schools, nevertheless, I am sure that all of them will be rejections too.

Perhaps you may think that I am exaggerating, but I worked 5 YEARS, I invested 5 years of my life in this, I never stopped working one day, I literally never rested one day during these years because I really wanted this chance. I had in my mind getting my PhD from a university in the USA. Everyone in my family and friend have the expectation that I will studying this year there, even my mother has began saving money for me (this is really sad , because my mother really believes that I will attain my dream, despite having recieved my second rejection letter), even this morning my mother told me: “My heart tells me that you will be there, stay strong, you will have your chance, I know it”. :frowning:

On the other hand, you may think that I can reapply next year, but that is not an option for me, I prefer to get my PhD in my country and in my alma mater (which is one of the best universities in the world and the best in my country) and then look for a postdoc position in the USA.

So guys, what do you think?. How do I deal with rejection?. How do I deal with the fact that 5 years of my life are down the drain?. I always hear that hard work gets you always good results, but it seems that I am the ONLY PERSON IN THE WORLD who cannot say that.

Thanks guys and I will look forward to your answers!!!

Regards!.

2

Do u believe everything u read in the Internet? Or just the stuff u want to believe? Think about: if GRE scores are superfluous, then why do schools bother with them at all?

It’s naive to believe that hard work alone matters. Quality of results matter.

You’ve already said u prefer to get your phd in yr home country in what u describe as one of the best universities in the world. So why not go to grad school there?

3

Hi GMTplus7;

Well, I was hoping to get some help to deal with this situation, not people trying to make me feel worst!. Anyway, thank you for answer!. Good night!.

4

@OP, you’re demonstrating in your post #2 the root of your problem: you only want people to tell u what u want to hear.

I’ve offered u a viable option: go to grad school in yr home country in the excellent university u mention.

5

Five years of your life have not been wasted, rest assured. The skills and habits you acquired over those years will obviously help you throughout the rest of your life. Second of all, it’s not the end of the world! Even if (and I doubt this will happen) you do get rejected from all seven, it’s not as it you are not allowed to reapply, or even retake the GRE! Rejection and failure is hard to handle, I know, but think of it as a stumble on your climb rather than a freefall back to the bottom. Your years studying will help you get into graduate school, in the USA just like you want. Your work will pay off, but only if you allow it to. Give up and it will truly be a waste.

6

The five years are not a waste, you have the foundation that you need to continue toward a PhD even if it isn’t in the USA. The rejections are disappointing, but the pain will subside, and when that happens you can figure out how to turn to plan B. It sounds like you are already in an excellent school where you can continue your studies.

7

@Gabo6625‌ Give your best shot…If you really want to do it, then take a year off and raise your GRE score and reapply, but if you have a seat in one of the best colleges in your country, then that is an amazing back-up…In any case, as @armagnavox‌ says, 5 years have not been wasted, rather you have gained a a lot…Look at the positives and all the best for the remaining five.

8

Hey guys… thank you!!!.. I do appreciate the words!. Yes, it is tought because I really worked hard, I do not want to become in the first person that does not have a positive result after putting the entire life in this goal!.

For me, it is difficult to see a “positive result” today, I guess that if I get rejected, I will need more time to gain some perspective and handle this setback in my career.

Thanks for your time guys!.

9

Perhaps some of the 5 remaining universities will admit you.
Another possibility is for you to start working on your PHd at the university in your home country, but if your heart’s still in American programs, to work on the GRE some more and retake the test.
Is it possible your professors didn’t know how to write American letters of recommendations?
These focus on undergraduate letters, but they give good examples (for graduate program, research ability would be paramount but the style that’s expected is similar):
http://mitadmissions.org/apply/freshman/recommendations
Finally, another solution is for you to try and find a funded Master’s program in the US, that would allow you to prove yourself to the grad schools, help you with a small stipend (you could save a little every month to retake the GRE), and finally get you where you want to go.
In any case, you didn’t waste 5 years of your life, even if it feels you could have put less of it on hold while preparing for this big step. This is only a bitter setback in a long journey.