Top % is a good one. Hadn’t thought of that. Perspective helps.
I’m a Duke grad and your son is right – the campus is gorgeous, the school is awesome, and it has set my bar pretty high as a parent of a now junior (in terms of gorgeous campus and other features)! I do want my daughter to go somewhere with a similarly beautiful campus because it truly was inspiring to me as a student. But just as you said, there are gaggles of gorgeous campuses for so many great schools! It looks like Duke might not make the cut for my daughter even though it’s a great match on paper for her interests; she prefers the “homey” feel and smaller classes of small LACs, which is awesome (I’m a big fan of both Duke and small LACs). She really loved Bowdoin, for instance.
Your son’s Ohio comment reminded me of my daughter’s comment to me about Colorado State last year – “I can’t go there, it’s in the middle!” In the middle?? She is apparently ruling out every school not on the “edge” of the United States, oh dear! Obviously, she will need to reevaluate that one…
Agree with those who have encouraged visits to schools – we have crossed off 3 already that were great on paper but didn’t connect with her in person after visiting.
I have also been encouraged by our college counselor to visit the reaches first, as many of them track demonstrated interest (you can simply call Admissions and ask if they track it – that might narrow down which schools to visit if you need to choose between a few?) which may be more important for those schools vs. the likelies.
Might have been mentioned already, but don’t have time to read all.
-Look at USNWR LAC rankings. (Personally, can’t stand it, and didn’t use it, but your kid will soon realize there are hundreds of highly ranked colleges not on his radar.)
-Tell him that the important people (i.e., future employers) know about LACs and that is what matters. He is going to college to become employable. That is what we impressed upon our kid. At the end of it, there needs to be a job.
-Show him acceptance rates and explain reality. Crush his dreams, seriously. Kids need a wake up call. Apart from getting a job out of college, actually getting into a college is the most important thing. Show him a couple of CC threads, often called “I didn’t get in anywhere!!!???:-(” Usually these types of kids have amazing stats and just apply to tippy top schools.
-Now that he understands how difficult it is to get into Duke, make him look through Fiske and have him start choosing some colleges. Tell him he will have to make sacrifices. He might have to forget about Tufts. Instead, he might have to think about colleges like U Pitt or University Of Rochester with better acceptance rates, and both fantastic schools. He needs to find qualities he likes in his non-top choice colleges. He has to sacrifice something, and it’s best if he understands that sooner rather than later.
-On that note, insist he come up with at least five colleges he hasn’t considered, or maybe not heard of. My kid will be attending a college we had never heard of until coming to this forum. Odds are, as soon as he starts doing a little research, he will realize that in fact, people have heard of these colleges, esepcially the people who matter (future employers.)
-Agree that there should be a parent’s choice on the list. My choice became a final contender for my kid.
-Do not plan a road trip to visit all reach schools. Visiting colleges is time-consuming and expensive. It is far more important to visit match and safety schools, because it’s very possible your son will attend one. Of course throw in some reaches, but not pie-in-the-sky ones. Be realistic and visit only reaches that are within the realm of possibility.
Good luck!
You can look up whether they track interest in the common data set. I think quite a few reaches ASSUME interest. It may be more important for matches and borderline safeties that may not like being treated as such and would rather admit kids who might actually attend than those who are just applying “just in case.”
When my daughter was looking at schools, there were definite geographic regions she limited her search to. She wanted northeast first and foremost. She did not want to be in the south or the center of the country. We did not have a problem with that as long as she looked at a range of schools. After visiting her top choice, it definitely changed her mind and she wound up in California. You have to be happy where you go to school, it is ok to look in regions where they prefer to go to school and within the affordable price range. Stress they have to look at several choices, some might surprise him both positively and negatively.
My DS is a senior and has only 3 schools on his list. I mention schools and he poo-poos them all. “Why would I apply to that school?” “I don’t want to go to Ohio or Texas or you name it.” “If I don’t get into this reach, I’ll get into the others.” (Believe me, I know.) I spoke with his GC in the spring and he said… it will come. Don’t worry. It’s a process.
The other night was Senior Night at school and his GC announced that they could have around 7 schools on their lists. For some reason, my son finally listened. When we came home, he allowed me to suggest 3 - 4 others that he MAY add to his list.
No time like the present, right?
He’s applying to 2 EA and 1 rolling (state school). So, hopefully he’ll have 2 - 4 more for either EA or RD. 
You have lots of time if he’s only a sophomore.
My son is also a sophomore and his older brother will be attending Stanford in the fall. So that fact makes it more difficult because my younger son is not as academically gifted. He is just a different kid than his brother in many ways. I know there is part of him that wants to go to Stanford as well but I encourage him to forge his own path. My advice to you is that I think you mentioned your son runs cross country. If so have him to write a letter to some of the smaller schools and develop a relationship with the coach. It doesn’t matter if he’s a great runner or just average but if he loves the sport then coaches at small schools usually encourage walk-ons and they can help get him admittance. These smaller schools have tight knit athletic teams that will be great for any kid. That is my plan anyway. And if I read the post wrong and he doesn’t run sorry. Any advice for me will be welcomed as well.
@NosyCaliparent Is your son a runner as well?
@NosyCaliparent you are correct that our son runs cross country. Many kids from our team have ended up gaining admittance to amazing D3 schools to run. I don’t know yet how our son’s XC experience will pan out and I’m not sure we want him to do college sports. Even at D3, I worry that it would be a big commitment. That being said, he’s starting an ultimate frisbee team at school and that might be something he would like to do at the club level in college. Team is just starting practice this January, but he found a nationally ranked ultimate player who is excited to manage the team so we will see if that leads to anything!
Carleton = Ultimate
@doschicos Yep! I have looked at ultimate at other schools, though, and plenty of them have a team.
@PeregrineFlute …wonderful, informative and thoughtful post. Good luck to you! You should come back and update everyone.
@NosyCaliparent Having been through D3 athletic recruiting this past year, I would be careful about assuming that coaches will give admission support for walk-ons. In our experience in talking with NESCACs and others, coaches will let admissions know that a recruited athlete is applying ED. That recruit has given up the opportunity to apply elsewhere and has “committed” to the one school. In contrast, most coaches say they have little to no influence in RD round. Being an active, engaged, student, who is a good team-mate and can manage multiple commitments, is all good and can be a positive factor in holistic admissions – but the coaches are not generally whispering in the ear of admissions about walk-ons who apply RD.
Princeton’s CDS says interviews are “considered” in the admission process. Where’s the beef? They also say applicant’s interest is considered.
Our D17 and D19 had never heard of most of the fine schools before we visited (Haverford, Lafayette, Reed, Lewsi and Clark, BMC, Ursinus, Emerson, Simmons, Santa Clara). They only knew of Elon and UNC because we live in NC,and D17 knew UChicago and Northwestern because she loves the band Fallout Boy. We just said, up for flying to Philly or San Francisco? We do go to Portland for D17, because she had heard someone mention Reed, and remember I had suggested it to her as a good fit. We went to CTCL event last week, and now D19 has an interest in St Olaf and Lawrence. So it will be next year, how about a flight to Minneapolis? Our experience has been when they see certain schools, that they nor none of friends have heard of, and love the setting and all, then it is not difficult to get them to consider lesser-known schools.
Maybe mine are more compliant because they have me complain about how most colleges are famous only for football and men’s basketball. Even for Stanford and Notre Dame and USC that is true with general public. An we are not a sports-obsessed family. Nearly everybody in our neighborhood chooses from maybe NCSU or likelier 3 or 4 directionals in NC, as few can get their kids into UNC, and almost nobody here can get into Duke. (You will see Duke bumper stickers and flags flying from houses all over! They love Coach K and his one-and dones!)
But we have found the best way to get kids to consider these lesser-known schools is to visit them. And these visits have to have an effect on admission. Colleges know when kids have seen the campus, the condition of dorms (a dealbreaker at one college we toured), seen the students (Elon is not Reed), maybe eaten the campus food. And schools know the family has the means and commitment to get their kid 100 or 2500 miles away.
@PetulaClark We really liked Lawrence and St. Olaf as well when we visited some years back. They made a good impression with us and I’d consider both “hidden gems”. Make sure to visit Carleton and Macalester while visiting St. Olaf.
My D13, who maybe could get into Mac, wants Reed, and is fine with Lewis and Clark. It’s D19 that wants to go everywhere! St Olaf sounds great for her, with everybody stuck living on campus, just like at Haverford and BMC. A parent’s dream! I say this a dad to D13, who moved off campus after first year, in with a trio of non-students. Still in school though, at a big public. That experience in itself has swayed younger sisters to look to the LACs!
@doschicos yes my son is a cross country runner. He also plays basketball and loves it a little more but the competition in that sport is brutal and the team support for each other is far greater in cross country. He ran 16:50 for a 5K as a freshman last year so he has some interest from some small schools.
Thank you @Midwestmomofboys. You are right. I am not familiar with the process and I would have the OP defer to you in this matter. I only refer to it because I did this(a long time ago) but at UNC-Chapel Hill which is not a small school and the most hated rival of OP sons dream school. But my sons friend did this same thing at Lispcomb and I thought it might be worth a shot if he wants to continue his running. I know that Duke had many walk-on runners when I was running at UNC. It is a commitment but schools are very good about giving athletes the resources to do well in school.