How do you know when your child is ready for BS

They can always ask another kid in the dorm how to do laundry.

However, I think the real “are they ready” test is: can they advocate for themselves? Can they independently figure out what is required of them?

One of my friends has a kid the same age as mine, and in theory she would love it if her kid were in private school,. Although her kid is “smart”, he repeatedly has failed to notice key requirements for course success, and his mother has felt the need to intercede. In 2 instances when my kid was still in public school, I asked what my kid’s take was on the problem, and my kid pointed out very clear grading matrices for the assignments, and extra credit policies - all on the class bulletin board.

Same kid during online classes at a local-ish private school apparently had similar problems, so has returned to public school.

I’m sure you encouraged your kid to problem solve using the tools available, and didn’t call the head to complain about teachers every time there was a little blip. (It’s not just the kid that has to be ready - the parent(s) also have to be ready to encourage these steps towards independence.)

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Not only did I not call anyone on her behalf (with the exception of one major issue early on), I started ignoring her phone calls so she’d have to truly start figuring it out on her own!!

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@cityran

I was feeling a bit worry because my 2 kiddos fit your description. They’re quite mature but not 100% on time management, class assignments, grading rubric requirements but they do and still ask for suggestions here and there or they would bring it up in a conversation for us to discuss. I can definitely picture they do not know how to do laundry, ironing nor online shopping. I try to teach them as much as we can but there are still a lot not covered!

Totally agree it is amazing to see children grow. Starting last year my 14 and 12.5yr old are able to navigate complex subway system to get from point A to point B using maps. I don’t need to drive them anymore when they have birthdays get together. The freedom is awesome! The next level is to see them travel on their own and ugh I worry about this.

Kids have to mature, as do we. The first step is to trust your kids and let them go. It is much easier said than done, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

In terms of travel, your kids are at a great age to start training. I had mine learn how to make online bookings, get boarding passes, look for schedule updates, go to gates, etc. You can watch them from behind and allow them to be confused a little. Once they figure it out, it’s a great feeling for the kids and parents. You should also have them learn about subway and bus maps at some point, because kids will have to use them sooner or later.

Good luck and let us know what schools you decide on applying to. You will find a lot of good advice here!

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I was with whoever said that if your kids are happy where they are why change. But if you think your jobs are in jeopardy and you may have to leave US it may make sense to look into BS option as alternative to leaving US. I do think if your child is not very independent and ready to go you want one of the smaller more supportive schools. Don’t get sucked into the big name schools that are more likely to operate like college with more or less sink or swim attitude for the kids. In that scenario, you really need to be independent and able to advocate for yourself as well as being very much on top of your work, or else you have to be one of the students who still get all the support at home either because they are day students, local boarders whose parents are on campus every week, or just connected parents who have BS staff on speed dial. If you are not in any of these categories you really have to adjust and learn quick or you will struggle mightily. Even then, quite a few kids manage to rise to occasion, but it is far from ideal scenario as it can take quite a while.

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There are some kids who are living in areas of the country or in cities/towns where the educational opportunities are just not a good fit for their intellectual curiosity, goals, academic level, or interests. My kid felt trapped in “the swamp”. The start of the school year was sad for my student and we started to consider home schooling or finding a university-aligned high school program that involved a long commute. On top of that, there were many sports and performing arts commitments that my kid did not want to give up. So, boarding school was the best option to meet those desires of my kid.

To channel Jeff Foxworthy: “You know your ready to consider boarding school when……”

  • You spend more time in your car than at your home
  • You live in a town with very few options that fits your kids needs/desires.
  • Your kiddo’s intellectual growth is being stunted by Common Core, teaching to the state tests, and a system that focuses on mediocrity.
  • Your kid needs to be placed in a higher level of courses, but the school won’t budge.
  • Your kid learns differently - maybe has unique learning styles or may need a school that is aimed in educating students with Dyslexia or Exec Functioning challenges - and those types of programs are not readily available in your area.
  • Your kid seeks a more diverse/inclusive/ school environment and the chance to be with students from many different countries & cultures.

I’m sure others can add to the list….

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