@payn4ward love that 1. Love the school that loves you (with more $$)
The funny thing about telling someone else that chasing prestige is downright gauche is that often times it comes across as self-serving and more than a bit hypocritical depending on who is delivering the sermon. It’s very natural to want to pay for what you believe is the best if you know you are going to pay anyway.
It’s perfectly natural to have a hypothetical pecking order in your own head or own heart before the decisions are in, but if you(r family) have only applied to schools where you would be happy to attend, well, you got into more than one, so you have a pretty good idea which is your fave, no?
And yes, if you need FA, then the biggest award is almost always the most important factor. Plus, Mercersburg is one of those schools whose grandeur is growing before our very eyes, so…
@GoatMama - thumbs up for your wisdom
@GnarWhail: I think a key part of your post #21 is this “if you(r family) have only applied to schools where you would be happen to attend…”
@SevenDad Yes, absolutely. I know you have been one of the best on that key concept for years now. It’s so important–especially where FA is needed: Cast a wide net and only apply to schools where you would attend without hesitation.
It’s very human to only want “the best” but in this little universe, “the best” is first and foremost a school where you got in!
- Yes, if the kid is comfortable there and can see the place as her home for the next four years. Since the kid can feel that way about more than one school, I would start the revisits with the school offering the best FA. If it feels good, stop there and enroll.
- No, if the kid doesn't feel comfortable there. In that case, move on to the next-best FA school. I wouldn't force a BS decision on a child no matter the reason - financial, prestige, whatever. It's her who will be living there, and occasionally it gets tough even when you love your school.
I would encourage a very frank conversation between the kid and parents when the decision is being made. If opinions differ, I’d go with the kid’s choice, even if she can’t articulate very clearly her gut feeling about a place (as long as the choice is financially feasible, of course). I think it takes lots of trust on both sides for a good compromise between personal preferences and financial realities.
Is it okay if second child picks up a different school, or is it going to be a logistic nightmare to manage two kids at two different boarding school?
Yes, it’s okay- absolutely, @infinityprep1234 . If I can do it - anyone can do it and I was usually juggling three different boarding schools at once.
All you need is a really good sense of humor. 
A good sense of humor really fixes a lot of life’s hardships doesn’t it!
I consider an expensive private school eduction an investment decision (although it’s not all that is). So to me, it depends on what monetary trade offs we are talking about, and what are the “players” in the running for you to pick. Prestige is not worth a lot, but it doesn’t bite either. That’s just me. I occasionally hear people attending/attended prestigious schools say oh prestige is nothing but I almost never hear people from non prestigious schools say oh prestige means a lot. This is reasonable because othe one hand, the ones who speak from their own experience deserve you to listen to. On the other, if you haven’t had something how would you rate it anyway?
This discussion is helpful for more than just new BS parents. Over the past year and a half, these conversations here on CC have changed my own views quite a bit. I think I was way more “prestige aware” than I am now. This statement may be seen as hypocritical as my own kid attends a “top” BS. However, after just two trimesters I can tell that what has been truly transformative has more to do with the BS experience itself rather than the academic rigor: managing one’s social relationships and identity, learning to compromise, making daily choices and discovering their long-term consequnces, dealing with pressure, managing time, advocating for oneself, and independently taking care of all aspects of one’s life, from eating, sleeping, and staying fit to doing laundry, ordering food, dealing with online customer service, and being a savvy traveler. These are the experiences that have made my kid grow by leaps and bounds compared to friends who stayed back home. That’s why it seems more important to me to find a safe and nurturing place that facilitates such growth rather than count the total number of courses a school offers. No single individual can take all courses anyway, so I’d focus on what a school does for MY kid instead on how many other kids it has gotten into HYP. Sure, the academic environment has to be able to accommodate the kid’s wingspan, but beyond that requirement, which can be met by a number of schools, the intangibles collectively known as “fit” are way more important than we tend to think pre-M10. When I just asked my DD, who is home on spring break, what she likes best about SPS, she didn’t refer to prestige, competitiveness, or being pushed daily. She said, “I like the sense of community. We’re one big family: we all live there, we get together as a school at least four times per week, I know everyone by name and they know me, I can get help from a teacher or someone else literally 24/7, I love spending time with my friends, my advisers and dorm parents, and my teachers just talking about things, coloring, or cooking. And we have therapy dogs in the library!!” That feels like home to me. :)>-
^^^yes!
Our daughter thinks that most of the learning is done by listening to other fellow students and then replying them, instead of wrote memorization: to think, analyze and come to own conclusions is more important. Fellow students makes you a better learner and you grow with them as you are own 24/7. That was what was missing in LPS
I agree with many of the previous thoughts, and in terms of prestige, clearly there is a hierarchy among schools but in many ways the reality is that when looking at any the vast majority of schools people are discussing here, the difference in prestige is minimal. Take finances into account and be really honest with your child about what would be best for them and your entire family for the next four years…and then it all starts again with college!!
@SevenDad my son is at Exeter. This is for a siblings child.
IRL, chances are when you as parents of elite school kids are asked to share your insights are for a scenario like this: My son is deciding between Stanford and our respectable state flagship. His Academic interests are wide and
we don’t know what path he will end up with. He feels comfortable in state flagship but a little intimidated by Stanford because he never attended a private school. The tangibles at both are comparable in terms of meeting his needs. Obviously, Stanford is a much more prestigious college than our state flagship, but we do need to pay about 8000 more to attend Stanford because state will be a free ride, but 8000 is within our budget. What would you say? Would you say oh a prestigious private school is not going to help you in any way if you feel your son can get the education he needs (typically any state flagships can fulfill most students’ need) in your state flagship?
Here’s another way to look at it: Student should choose the school where s/he feels s/he can do his or her best work. So if they love the robotics department which is their talent and happiness, and or love the track because they felt at home, etc. In the end, you want a place where student will feel confident to make use of all their talents. It is after all a school, and in the end you want student to be able to shine their brightest to makes use of all their talents, so they will be able to continue on to the college that affords them the greatest opportunity to do the same.
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Eliminate the space after the open bracket.
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