I understand having fabulous results in admission process is great. But we are seeing a big emotional downside. My son is having a very hard time as to come with words as why he have to decline offers.
These folks who were involved in the interview process has telephoned and reached out by email to my son. This is more harder than I thought and I am having hard time to advice my kid.
What is a polite way to say in email, that one can not attend that college without sounding ungrateful.
My kid wrote notes to her colleges. I don’t remember the exact wording but something like…
“Thank you for your recent acceptance. At this time, I have made the decision to attend a different college. “
And she signed her name.
For her number two school she added “I will always wonder ‘what if U of ‘.
That school wrote her an amazing letter saying that they would hold her admission and very significant merit aid for a year…and if she decided to enroll as a sophomore, she would be welcome to do so.
I don’t think it had anything to do with her note…but it was sure a nice response.
I do not think this has to be a big song and dance, and he doesn’t need to give a reason at all. Really, his reason for any offers he is declining…would be that he accepted another offer of admission. No other details are needed.
You’re making it tougher than it needs to be. Most students have to decline offers and admission offices are used to it.
Your child writes: Thank you so much for the offer of admission, but I must decline as I have accepted an offer at another college. Signed hairskid.
No one can go to more than one school. All he needs to say that school X, where he will be going, is his first choice. No need to explain why. Admissions at any school is aware that not all accepted students will attend and need no reasons. People involved in his interviews need no explanations other than he chose another school. He owes them nothing. This is not a social event, it is a college application.
I agree with thumper1. It can be very short and polite. Schools will not take it personally that your child has opted for another school. No school has 100% yield.
Tell them that - the admissions process was very competitive this year and at this he cannot accept the offer.
One of the elite college has offered more money than what they offered last week. This email came with more money and amount is pretty big.
It’s really just business. A quick email of thinks and decline would probably be appreciated. Every school will get tons of such emails…year after year after year. No worries!
@hariputralake
I would send an email thanking for the opportunity and informing how proud you are to has been accepted into this great institution, but he needs to declines that honor, because he has received another college offer that fit better to him.
I’m more succinct and would not add the above, excessive to me, verbiage. Short and sweet. They don’t need to read a lot to figure out the message. btw- it may not be that great a place or honor- obviously it did not beat out the school he chose.
I believe that @hariputralake is in somewhat of a special place with her child in that he was accepted by 4 Ivies (not sure which 4) and Stanford and I believe he’s in music and several directors at universities championed his cause. I do feel that he needs a more personal approach to his notes.
LOL. @Greymeer that was hilarious.
He can write,
“After carefully reviewing your admissions decision, it’s with deep regret that I inform you that I am unable to accept your offer at this time. This year I had to select amongst a talented pool of institutions, all with their respective strengths, and potential weaknesses. In particular, the opportunities granted to me this year made it very difficult for the admissions committee consisting of my mom, dad, and grandparents. However, I appreciate your time and effort.”
Wishing you the best,
Student
Happy April Fools Everyone!
That aside, he can politely decline by replying that he has made a decision to enroll somewhere else.
International Dad, son will do so, I like it a lot.
Unfortunately can not fool around, many alumni interviewrs are big shot and have told son to be in touch after admission process. They have given him personal cell and has told him to visit in person whenever he is in town.
Plus in few years my second kid goes into admission process.
Definitely don’t burn bridges in case grad school is in the cards but again, there is nothing wrong with your son choosing the school that is the best fit. Thank the alumni for their time and support. Again, they wont take it personally.
And @hariputralake am i right that you are an international parent and this is the first time you’ve had a child in a U.S. university, yes? He must be one talented fellow…i’ve been following your notes. And I understand what you’re saying on the interviewers…the musical world (is it classical music?) is small indeed and he’ll meet many of these people again and again. What I would do in the note is emphasis what an incredibly difficult decision he faced and how he appreciates their support very much but that he had to choose one.
My sons wrote letters along the lines of InternationalDad, though didn’t tell the schools where they were going. A couple of schools did get a longer note because they had been in extensive contact with adcomms and others at the school, esp during the April decisionmaking process.
I will admit to tears when a couple of those letters went out.
Somewhere out there, an adcomm stood up and advocated for an acceptance for my kid. It was nice of my sons to recognize that effort.
So what? This only matters if your son is changing his mind about where he wants to attend. If he has already committed to another college…he needs to UNcommit before he accepts the big money offer.