My son is 12 hours away. He made the drive to college (stayed overnight at a cousin’s on the way there). After that he flew home for Thanksgiving and drove home for Christmas. He is driving back this weekend. He has no trouble being far away. He actually loves it! I think it helped him really feel part of his school. His gf, who he met there and lives in that state actually flew down here today to drive back to school with him. He got a 4.0 so I don’t feel bad about it at all. He is very independent and I knew he would be fine.
The first two were 285 miles away, roughly 5 hours depending on traffic and snow. It helped that it is a beautiful drive through the rolling hills of eastern Washington. Both have graduated and I will miss that drive.
Kid number 3 is 2100 miles away, a flight, not always direct, plus a two hour bus ride. He was not home for Thanksgiving and will be on his own for spring break.
I want to add that we have a really good college 12 miles from us. None chose that one, too close to Mom and Dad.
My first child had a 3-4 hour radius away she was looking at…she was 3.5 hours away. She was independent and needed no support other than pickup/drop off. The youngest has some anxiety issues so she was looking in a 2 hour radius. She ended up an hour away…good because I have had to go help her on occasion.
Our two went to schools about 4-5 hour drives away in the Midwest. Then, when they were a freshman and a junior, we moved to Texas! They found places to store stuff in the summer and learned the best ways to get to various airports from friends. Youngest one is now a senior, and we just moved again. It’s all worked out okay so far!
My son just graduated from a school that was a bit over 500 miles away (a 7-8 hour drive for me).
Flying wasn’t a reasonable option for us - his school was an hour away from an airport, our house is an hour away from an airport and there were no direct flights between the two. Flying took just as long as the drive.
I had initially thought that my son wouldn’t have a car with him freshman year and I’m sure we would have found rides with other students or he would have travelled by bus or train, but due to earning his scholarship, I allowed him to take his car and it was the best decision for us in the long run.
He chose to come home 3 times his first semester - fall break, Thanksgiving, and winter break. He made the drive each time. I was nervous the first few times and there are apps that allow tracking a phone, so I could sit at work and watch his route, but after the first few times, then it became - call me when you stop for gas half way. By his last year it was just call me when you get there safely.
I generally went to visit twice a year - once in the fall and once in the spring and the drive really wasn’t that bad. There was no need for late night driving - I could leave just before lunch and still be there in time for dinner or I could leave home early morning and be there by mid-afternoon. The drive wasn’t too far for a long weekend, so I would only take 1-2 days off work to visit each semester.
Only once in all his years did he have any serious issue (and that wasn’t even driving home, that was driving to meet his dad over a father’s day weekend) when his car was rear-ended and the insurance company opted to total it, but he was uninjured and got to learn how to deal with insurance claims.
He looked at some schools farther away that would have required flights and the logistics of moving back and forth still make my head spin. At 500 miles we were able to handle move ins and move outs with a couple cars making the drive (he’d load his to keep there and I’d load mine to unload and make the return trip).
For us 500 miles was the perfect distance - it was far enough for him to spread his wings and force him to tackle many issues on his own. But yet close enough if anything serious were to happen, you could leave in the morning and be at the other end of the route before dinner that evening.
No college kid in America needs two carloads of stuff for college. My kids existed just fine in a dorm with 2 bags of stuff, and now one lives in a house and will be able to pack anything she needs to keep into a couple of bags. She inherited a bed and bookcase/desk from other students and will pass them on to younger students.
I am envious that a kid ends up in a dorm with room for two carloads of stuff! Mine have all lived in a variety of situations (suites, doubles, forced triples,) none of which had room for more than what we could stuff in a Honda hatchback (with three or four people in the vehicle). As I have posted before- Bed Bath takes back unopened XL bedsheets four years later. How does Blossom know this? How do you think?
Anything you see advertised on one of those college “must have” lists is either too big, too cutesy, or just plain wrong for your kids dorm. Cozy reading chair? No room. Cute bookcase with a power strip? No room. Three level organizer? No room. Matching linens? I dunno- my boys weren’t too impressed (hence my intimate knowledge of the Bed Bath return policies.)
For move in DS took two suitcases (free on Southwest) and I sent everything else (bedding, trash can, laundry basket etc) online delivery from Walmart to the college mail room where he picked it up when he arrived on campus. After his first year he moved off campus to an apartment where he did not need to move his stuff over breaks. I didn’t pick anything so expensive that it would be a big deal if he has to jettison it when he graduates. This probably works better for guys than girls who might be more picky about their living arrangements!
@twoinanddone I do thank you for your opinion, but as my son has since graduated and now has a job, I think we managed pretty successfully.
(Should I mention that by the time he graduated and lived in an unfurnished apartment, it took a 16 foot moving truck to move him + his motorcycle got towed on a trailer + his 2nd car (the project car he bought with his own internship earnings that he’s worked on for over a year) is still in his college town parked at a friends auto shop until he can get it moved.
But ya know, now that he’s on his own, he’s got a great set of ‘starter furniture’, so he doesn’t have to worry about using money to buy new immediately and can upgrade as he is able.
He has too much stuff. After he moves a few more times, he’ll realize this too.
2627 miles.
@blossom We sent our first off to college this Fall. My wife “staged” the move in the dining room. One classic discussion:
Me: Why is there a small ironing board in the dining room?
Wife: For when he irons his clothes.
Me: No boy has ever ironed anything in college in the history of college. Ever.
My wife did a fantastic job thinking of the little things my son and I would never have thought to get and she really didn’t overbuy…except the ironing board 
Swimmingdad- did you have the fabric softener, lint roll, and emergency sewing kit discussion yet (and I actually have a son who likes to iron and do small repairs- but NOT while he was in college!)
About a 7 hour drive to D’s college. For Winter Break, she catches a 20 minute cab ride to the airport for the 1 hour direct flight back home.
My top college is 30 minutes to the airport-8ish hour flight with one layover-1 1/2 hour commuter train ride-10 ish minute uber/campus pick up service. OR a 40 hour drive straight along I-90 haha sounds like a blast. I’ll probably only come back for winter and summer break, (Thanksgiving doesn’t seem worth because of high costs, short trip right next to winter break, and my family doenst have strong thanksgiving traditions especially since my mom’s not American but maybe). I generally don’t mind being away from my family and am a fairly independent person so I think it sounds fun, but we’ll see. Interesting thread.
We now live in Hawaii and our D attends college over 4,800 miles away. Similar to what I experienced when I attended college nearly 1,000 miles from home, it’s a great way to become an adult and learn how to live independently when you attend a college more than a few hours away from home. One of our criteria for college selection was proximity to an airport with commercial airline service. Our D is now a seasoned airline traveler, having flown to and connected through every one of United Airlines’ domestic hub airports, is an experienced Amtrak rider, and has her own frequent flyer and hotel frequent guest accounts.
You didn’t know my son…or his roommates! They were music majors…and each one brought an ironing board…and an iron…and they used them. The ROTC kid down the hall used his too.
DD, who went to college 3000 miles away…moved there with four suitcases…
- Had linens from our house...towels, comforter, sheets. No newbies from BBB.
- Had her clothes
- Had some school supplies, and her shoes, and things like her hair dryer, curling iron, etc.
4.was half my things for the four day weekend, and half the rest of her clothes plus accessories.
We also each carried a personal item, and a carryon bag. I carried two instruments in a case…and the kid carried her laptop.
She kept one carryon. I brought the other home with me…and the four suitcases were tossed…they came from goodwill with the intention of making a one way trip.
At graduation move out time…three of us traveled with two borrowed suitcases each…six total. We told the kid that anything that didn’t fit in the six suitcases had to be given away. No problem! She did ship a box of books home.
Really it’s doable.
My son’s rule of thumb…put everything you think you will need in college in one room…like your living room…then take HALF of what’s there. You will still find that you don’t use a lot of what you take.
First year…we moved him in our minivan…only three people. All other seats removed. By his senior year…we moved him with a Volvo sedan…and three peopl. No problem.
In terms of moving the stuff…distance really didn’t matter.
Our son went to high school and college about 3,000 miles away. He took one suitcase, one roller bag, and his backpack on the flights to and from each school. He shipped his electronicals wrapped in his bedding. That’s it. No help or effort from us on either end. It’s definitely doable.
Don’t discount the importance of ironing.
The most popular person in my freshman co-ed dorm was an Army brat who knew how to properly iron a ROTC uniform so that its wearer could pass inspection. I had the good fortune of living next door to this expert, and therefore I met huge numbers of people – many who came over from other dorms – during the first weeks of school.
However, it isn’t necessary to own an ironing board in most cases, and they take up space you don’t have in a dorm room. All you really need is an iron. There’s usually an ironing board in the laundry room.
We are in Southern CA. Weather and distance were the biggest factors — all other factors being pretty much equal — in our case. Never applied to HYP after getting into Stanford REA. What concerned me was my kid gettting sick due to winter cold in the East coast. At Stanford, in the worst scenario, I can drive 7 hours and pick him up. No big deal for me or my wife because we can turn this into a little get away to SF, Napa or Sonoma. Convenience of coming home and returning to school was a big factor in choosing a school in CA. But if I felt an East coast school was significantly better, I would reconsider. On the move-in day, we plan to drive up with several suitcases and boxes and buy a bicycle and bed linens there. No need to take heavy winter coat.