<p>My D would like to move home and drive to college next semester. I have checked with the university and she will be allowed to do so and won't lose any of her financial aid doing so. We live 70 miles away and it will take a good hour or more to get there each day. She says the dorm is just too loud and she will be able to study better at home. She also HATES the meal plan, she always complaining about having to make herself eat in the cafeteria. Also, she worries about the cost. Our financial situation has changed greatly and she is thinking about the cost. She has figured gas cost and food and figured she will save over $6,000 a year living at home. She has even figured out a place to say in case of bad weather.<br>
I worry about her being on the road and the weather. I would LOVE to have her back home but am not sure if I should allow this. All opinions will be appreciated!!</p>
<p>My son when in high school drove 45 min each way to school . And you’re talking even longer. It takes significant time out of your day, cuts into extracurricular time etc. Takes a toll on your social life big time. Are there clubs or ECs she is involved in? Or would like to be? It is tiring to commute. And not inexpensive depending on your gas mileage (and mental attitude). And the time on the road bothered me also. One unfortunate accident is all it takes. His schedule was very regular but college class schedules can be erratic.</p>
<p>Is the meal plan required? They are notoriously expensive. Are there cooking facilities available? Are there any cheaper off-campus apartments available? A different dorm?</p>
<p>Since she has “figured out where to stay in bad weather”, I would guess she’s found a friend to camp out with and it will be more and more frequently as time goes on and the drive is less pleasant. My D had a sem-permanent roommate in this way.</p>
<p>Everyone is different. You say you’d love to have her back home which is great but it is the time that young people are supposed to become more independent which (to me anyways) means living on your own and finding solutions to your problems. If the problem is a too loud dorm then the answer does not necessarily mean leaving for home.
Meal plans are not required (if at all) after freshman year so you can probably subtract that cost after this year.</p>
<p>Personally, I’d do my own calculations on the expected savings before signing on to this.</p>
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<p>She is independent. She has had the same job since her freshman year of high school. She has always been an A student while playing 2 varsity sports and holding a job. Actually she is paying her own college with scholorships and loans. She has bought most of her own clothes and makeup since she was 16. We bought her car and pay her insurance but I have never put gas in it. It will actually cost me more money having her home because I will start to help her with gas since she will be using so much. She is worried about her student loan debt. I wish we were able to help her more but she has to pay her tuition. We pay for books and computer, cell, medical and give her extra money whenever possible. I will pay on her loans all I can while she is in school but once she graduates and gets a job they will be her responsibility. </p>
<p>The only club she says shes worried about meets during the day and she says she will be able to stay in it. </p>
<p>She only keeps all her scholorships if she moves HOME… If she gets an apartment off campus she will lose $4,000 a year in aid. So this is why she chooses to stay home. She has named about 10 people on campus she can stay with the weather gets bad and there are a couple more friends off campus too. </p>
<p>No matter what arguement I come up with she has a solution for it. She has thought this out and is a good kid. If we tell her it’s best she stays in the dorm she will do it. I’m just not sure I have that right since she will be paying her loans herself. I’ve never had alot of problems deciding what is best for my children, but I am having a hard time with this one. I keep reminding myself that she isn’t a child, she is an adult and maybe it isn’t my decision.</p>
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<p>Is she sure? This seems unusual. At some schools that I know, students do not lose their aid if they move off-campus. If the aid covers more than tuition, they just get a check instead of having the aid count toward their on-campus housing costs.</p>
<p>Depends on major. If she can squeeze all her classes MWF for example she can do it 3 times a week and she’s home free (pun intended). If she needs access to labs, studios, study groups, and the like, maybe. If she’s majoring in anything like architecture, no point having a home or dorm :-)</p>
<p>70 miles is a good 1:15 or so, and in bad weather, I’m not sure I would let my daughter do it. If we’re talking Texas and no snow storms, sure, if we’re talking University of Michigan or similar… definitely not. I have a 40 minute commute to work and Midwestern weather, and it’s not fun in the winter regardless of what you drive.</p>
<p>Study in the library, where it is quiet. Gas prices are volatile. 70 miles is just too far. This would be a major lifestyle change. There is always something good at the salad bar.</p>
<p>It sounds like she is an uber-responsible kid who has thought this through and is making the decision for all the right reasons. I’d definitely let her know what I thought the downsides are (as somebody who has had jobs where he had to travel over an hour each way, I’m less worried than some other posters), then I’d let her make the call.</p>
<p>Has she looked at all the costs involved? Driving 140 miles per day seems like a lot to save money on a dorm room. When I did the calculations for myself 30 years ago, the break even point was more like 27 miles one way. She should probably add in the value of her time as well – that’s time she could be spending studying or working a part time job.</p>
<p>Have you run the numbers yourself, OP? It seem to me that she’ll be spending around $4000 a year on gas, if she commutes 5 days a week, 36 weeks/year. That doesn’t include insurance or wear and tear on the car, or food, which she’ll be buying on campus every day anyway, and probably again during at least the commute home every day. Plus the time she loses every day during the cmmute. If you live anywhere near city traffic or bad weather, that daily commute is going to get very old very fast.</p>
<p>The math seems way off to me…if she’s SAVING a net $6000 by going home she must be spending at LEAST $9000 (because at the very least with super gas mileage it will be $3000 in gas/year).
What’s her car insurance? Notoriously expensive for young people–maybe it would be more cost savings to get rid of the car (heretical I know).</p>
<p>Thank you for all the opinions!! I really appreciate it!</p>
<p>I spoke to the financial aid office myself and it true that she will lose $4,000 in scholorship if she stays anywhere other than her parents or on campus. Idk, its a private college and she did get alot of scholorship money so maybe thats why? And she HAS to take the food plan to be in a dorm. </p>
<p>I think my solution for now is to allow her to spend the next week driving home everyday to give it a test run. Then she can see how much it really is going to cost her. If she still wants to then I will allow it for next semester. She might find that she wants to go back to campus next fall. lol </p>
<p>Staying in the dorm is $4,940 annually and the meal plan is $4,590 annually. I figure she will save around $6,000 a year.</p>
<p>She could do a trial run before this semester ends. Sleep at home every night for a week and drive to school each day. This would give her a good look at how it might work.</p>
<p>I understand your dilemma. It does sound as if she is very responsible, and has tried to think it through. But I think it is a REALLY, REALLY bad idea, especially if there is any possibility of ice, snow, or driving rainstorms. I’ve had a job with a 50-mile-each-way commute by car. It is very wearing. I think she is grossly underestimating that. </p>
<p>In addition, she is probably underestimating the cost. The best figure to use is most likely the federal tax allowance per mile for business use, which takes into account wear and tear: currently $0.51 per mile. This is not a random figure: it is based on studies. 140 miles round trip means about $70 per trip. If she makes 5 trips per week, that’s $350 per week. Assuming 2 13-week semesters, for argument’s sake, that adds up to $9100 per year in travel cost alone, not including any incidentals. I doubt that she has any really good idea of the cost of maintenance or a set of new tires, nor of the expense of purchasing a new car (even a used one). And of course, it is likely that the insurance rate might go up if the car is being used for commuting, instead of occasional use by a college student.</p>
<p>More to the point, 3 hours per day out of her life lost to commuting by car is a huge waste. Yes, there are things one can do during that time–listen to books on tape, for example–but it’s not the same as commuting by train or bus, where one can actually do work. She’s going to be isolated from college life, too. Surely she can find something to eat, and as someone else pointed out, if the dorm is noisy she can study in the library. Or get some noise-cancelling headphones. </p>
<p>Maybe an environmentalist argument would work with her. All that unnecessary fuel consumption… 
If all else fails, can you have her try it for a semester, and go back to the dorm or an apartment if it doesn’t work out?</p>
<p>Edit: I see you have a trial plan in place. Good idea. But there is no doubt in my mind that her TRUE travel costs are going to be higher than her dorm and food costs, and that does not even include the cost of her food at home and on the road.</p>
<p>My D drove for a year to local university, only about 20 miles. Normally it was just a hassle, but on bad weather days I worried a lot. I even remember calling mid-semester to check if there was dorm space available, as back-fill for a dropout.</p>
<p>In addition to gas fees, there were very high daily parking fees. (Parking would have been more affordable with annual pass, but there’s a limited number and they go fast.) </p>
<p>I like OP’s idea to let D try the commute.</p>
<p>I think there is too much risk of an accident with this long commute. A strict judge in traffic court said that the brain isn’t fully developed until about age 26 and young drivers just take more risks. We don’t realize how much information we accumulate after 10 or more years of driving that is kind of in the back of our brain but helps us react and avoid dangerous situations. Plus all the college kids I know (including great responsible students) underestimate the amount of sleep they need and are often tired. Your daughter is very busy, and I would be afraid she would misjudge her tiredness and drive when she shouldn’t.</p>
<p>I think you could also argue that you are not getting the full value of the
college by not being there so much of the time.</p>
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<p>Actually, it was raised July 1 to 55.5 cents per mile. </p>
<p>A major part of the calculation is depreciation, which is significantly inflated if you’re driving a beater.</p>
<p>OP…I have lots of thoughts on this–will try to make a coherent post.</p>
<p>First of all, your D is to be commended for wanting to keep her student debt low, save the family money, etc. and it appears she has tried to address all issues that may arise.</p>
<p>But, as stated in the many of the wise posts above, I would not want her to commute 70 miles one way. </p>
<p>I also have to wonder many things that may need to be addressed:
- Is she a freshman? If so, many freshman have adjustment issues first semester.
- Is it a roommate issue? If so, has she talked with roommate about problems, like noise, etc.? Has she talked with RA?<br>
- Does she have a reason to want to be at home, i.e., boyfriend? Depressed?
- She hates the meal plan/cafeteria food? Yea, they all do… Is it maybe that she hasn’t
made a lot of friends and has been eating alone?</p>
<p>I would explore many options before I’d be o.k. her with driving that far.</p>
<p>-Can she dial down the meal plan?<br>
-Can she move to a single or different roommate at end of semester?
-If she’s concerned about costs, can she add another class? Attend over summer and
graduate early? Take additional classes during summer while at home?
-If your “financial situation has changed greatly”, have you re-visited the FinAid office?
-Instead of all that driving to save $$, has she explored a campus job?
-Does she have noise cancelling headphones for study? </p>
<p>I So agree with many that think the costs are NOT accurate.</p>
<p>I’m concerned that you think “she isn’t a child, she is an adult and maybe it isn’t my decision”. With all due respect, yes, she’s an adult, but you are paying
“books and computer, cell, medical and give her extra money whenever possible. I will pay on her loans all I can while she is in school …” And you indicate you will have to pay gas if she moves home and commutes. She may be an adult, but she is still your dependent.</p>
<p>At this point in time, I’d tell her you’ll re-visit after at the end of the year…not now.
She may change her mind!</p>
<p>FWIW, my two commuted 22 miles one way for high school. Some days, it would be 45 minutes (plus parking and walking to campus). But, weather or an accident could easily turn that into 1 1/2 hours. With sports/club commitments/group projects, they drove home very tired many times–or just camped out at classmates houses. When they got to college, they both felt they “found” at least 10 hours a week!</p>
<p>I can’t emphasize the time issue enough. I’ve really done it. Parts of me still can’t stand to get in a car. It can be a great time to listen to books, sing some songs etc. BUT anybody with extra work to do besides zone out and relax after work (and that’s only if it’s highway miles) is losing HOURS of valuable work time. If it’s not highway miles and simply traffic it becomes torture. It is mind numbing and soul leaching.</p>
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<p>I did an hour-and-a-half-each-way commute for six years while working. I hated it. The loss of three hours a day had an enormous effect on my life. And my commute was mostly by mass transit – driving is worse in most instances.</p>
<p>Driving becomes your part time job. (literally–15-20 hours/week) and you don’t get paid.
There has to be some really good reasons and/or economics behind taking on the task. If it’s economics a part time job makes more sense.</p>