College Confidential for me has been a place to find like-minded/not like minded people who have gone through the gauntlet of the college application process and survived… I know that I will see many perspectives and that is important because I know that I personally don’t have all of the answers. There is nothing like having others that have already been in your shoes alert you to something that wasn’t even on your radar, only for that something to come up later and being ready to deal with it. I have received the same kindness and compassion that @greenbutton spoke of and will always try to give that back to my CC family.
I found CC after my daughter finished 9th grade in 2009 when my husband left us. My daughter was always top of the class. I had to figure a way to get her to college. I googled scholarships and found about NM full ride scholarships here on CC from Mom2collegekids. I called the HS to find out if they offered PSAT. They didn’t, but instituted it after I explained what it was. In sophomore year she was 4 points below the state cutoff. Then I learned of the Xiggi method. D knew she didn’t want to commute to college, so she studied a little each week in order to bring the score up in Junior year. We also learned about meets full need schools. I learned about free applications and free SATs and ACTs. As someone with extreme need and a smart kid, this site was a God send. I even went back to school and earned an RN degree thanks to info about Pell Grants and Student loans.
I still come back for info for friends’ kids and nieces and nephews.
I have referred several people to CC for information on the college admission process. Living in the Boston area there are many parents (and GC’s) who still think that BU, BC and Northeastern are safety schools for a student with a 1300 SAT and a 3.3 UW GPA. Reading the decision threads here on CC is enlightening.
For me, I learned the ins and outs of athletic recruiting at high academic schools. My son would never have known to ask for a pre-read, and thus been rejected for his ED choice. For my daughter, a suggestion from a CC dad turned her into a recruitable college player. We also learned about the showcase camp where she was recruited by the college she is now attending.
I think of CC as exemplifying “the kindness of strangers”
My kids avoided CC and I don’t think either ever even looked at it. My D. said it was a site for parents…
The most helpful thing is the incredible depth of detailed experience that is available. The knowledge of a crowd-sourced group of several thousand people just blows away what you could ever find in your own personal network.
There’s so many schools and so many topics involved in the college rodeo, but you can almost always find a knowledge-able group on CC. No matter how obscure the concern is – best dorms at Santa Clara, merit scholarship chances at Case Western, where to get good chowdah while visiting schools in Boston, FAFSA and 529 nuances, SAT vs. ACT, ED vs. RD, best school to study CompSci and Arabic, best schools for Jewish B students, etc. etc. etc.
Least helpful/useful thing is “can I get admitted to X school?”
I’ve been lurking here on CC for quite awhile but decided to join to thank everyone for all the helpful info when my D was going through the application process. My youngest will be a senior next year so it is time to go through it all again. Through CC I’ve learned about:
- common data sets
- ED and EA
- SAT vs. ACT
- Merit aid and schools that offer good aid even for less than stellar students
- Reach/match/safeties
- Items to buy for a dorm
- pros and cons of attending a school far from home
- schools to consider (the 3.0-3.4 GPA threads were especially helpful)
Thanks everyone!
Reading posts in the parent forum, I wonder if parents are deciding for their children or if they are letting their children decide on their own. For our son (admitted to Northwestern this fall) and daughter ('20), we, fortunately, set no limitations. You can go wherever you want and it’s your own decision to like or not like a school. My wife asked for three vetoes which are usually “no” to Miami University, Vanderbilt and St Mary’s (South Bend). Overall, parent’s subjective comments haven’t been useful. Student opinions about a school are much more insightful.
The parents who post here generally are deciding the financial end of things. As in, kids can go wherever they want, but mom and/or dad can only contribute $X. Some parents may have additional restrictions or concerns, but bottom line, absent substantial scholarship or grant aid, 18 year old kids can’t afford to attend 4 year residential colleges without parental help… So yes, parental involvement is important. Otherwise the kids often end up being admitted to schools they can’t afford to attend.
@AltaSki64 We limited our kids to schools that were affordable to us. Beyond that they had complete control, though I helped them locate schools that might interest them based upon what they told me they wanted.
I’ll admit we morphed into that decision because we raised our kids thinking they would go to our Alma mater and have as much fun there as we did. My oldest son was brave when we had a discussion right after visiting the school his junior year. He told us, “Mom & Dad, this is a very nice school and I see why you like it, but it’s just not where I feel like I belong.” (Considering this was back in 2009, that’s paraphrased rather than a direct quote.) It got his point across. Dh and I thought about it - and ourselves at his age since neither of us went where our parents went - and figured out his college experience was indeed, his choice - just still within our budget.
Mine ended up choosing three totally different schools. Ours was a large state U - OOS for both of us when we were students. Oldest chose a very small Christian LAC. Middle chose a medium sized research U. Youngest chose a secular LAC.
No regrets at all. None on their end either. They love their schools. We still love ours.
@AltaSki64 Ooh. I’d love to know why your wife would veto Vanderbilt.
Now on my fourth kid going through the process.I learned so much from the nice people on CC.
Never heard of the Nescac or the ups/downs of athletic recruiting. For us, the process of prereads was a totally new concept as well as OVs and unofficial visits. The importance of early testing as ED was practically a given if wanting help from a top D3 coach… The hard facts about big fish little pond was learned here as well. You think your kids will get into top schools because they are such good students in your school then you hear the stories of students not getting in with such amazing stats. Those were eye openers and so informative.
What I do not like, what makes me want to scream is when a parent or student lists stats, interests etc and wants info on two or three schools and many of the responses start out with can you afford it? Did you run the NPC? How much are your parents going to contribute?
The person is not asking for financial advice and never sure why we all think it’s our business to ask those questions. Seems we should either answer the question based on the facts at hand or ask for more fit type of info but leave the cost discussion out of it. I know I am in the minority on this but this is my pet peeve.
But as always thanks to all of you as I have learned so much from this group over the years. I recommend this site to people all of the time.
^I have to disagree with you. The users on this board have just seen SO many instances of students writing, “I got into XYZ school and am so excited! But now my parents say they can’t pay for it! What do I do?? My life is over if I can’t go to my dream school!” It’s heartbreaking and we want to help other students avoid the situation. Any discussion of schools has to involve affordability.
I get your response. As I said this is my pet peeve and I know I am in the minority.
Have a great day
CC did not exist when my first kid was applying to colleges. I hung out on the wild Princeton Review blog, which fell apart shortly after my son entered college.
CC did exist when my second kid was applying a few years later. Her search only included stand-alone art schools (plus Carnegie-Mellon). Some people shared information on a sub-forum here devoted to art programs/schools. But basically our daughter was on her own in learning about particular schools; a 10-day swing from Chicago to Maine provided exposure to many prospective places to apply.
Hugely helpful, particularly on figuring out the financials, and how to build a list starting from the EFC/NPC. Start your list with a safety you love. I learned of schools I had never heard of before that turned out to be good options for my child and affordable for us. I loved the support from the parents of 2017 thread and suspect that same will be the case for 2021 families. I learned about scholarships, award programs, etc. - Scholastic Arts and Writing, TASP, Kenyon summer writing, etc. I have gotten good advice about the merits of SAT vs. ACT and what’s a “good” score.
I am in a much better place for D21 who has a completely different set of preferences and needs than D17. I already have a (working) short list of places that might be good fits and potentially affordable (with merit) and feel pretty calm about what lies ahead.
I hate chance threads.
I LOVE threads where a panicked kid with no affordable options needs help and the entire community swoops in during the final hour and 10 hours and 10 pages later, the kid has a bunch of viable options and WILL go to college.
I also like the scrappy and talented first generation kids who are looking to craft a viable list, get the advice they need here, and get into awesome, great-fit schools.
Contrary to the site’s elitist reputation, I have seen very many threads that offer pragmatic, realistic advice for the B or C student, for the student with learning disabilities or mental health issues, for families that have complicated financial profiles, or for kids whose parents won’t or can’t pay for the schools they think they deserve.
I learned about medical powers of attorney for college students here on CC before my daughter became ill enough to need hospitalization as a college freshman. As a result, we were able to get information and make decisions.
I learned the importance of addressing the health insurance issue with respect to the annual tuition bill.
On the downside, over the years, there have been a couple of very deeply disturbed posters from whom I watched sick behavior that spilled out of the electronic world into the physical one - although thankfully not directed at me, personally.
@fleishmo6 I get your pet peeve about financials entering every discussion, it was mine too in my earlier days. Since we are not eligible for FA anywhere it frustrated me to have to read about it in every thread.
After a while I realized I was completely wrong about it and the folks who do it are right to, and that it does way more good than harm.
The circle is complete, as a friend called me for generic college advice yesterday and I brought it up as i have learned to here. He had never heard of a Net Price Calculator – we had a 20 minute conversation about it and it was very helpful to him.
It is so much more fun to shop without looking at the price tag. 
But wastes the OP’s time and our time if the school won’t work financially. I’d be curious to see a study, but I bet cost is one of the top couple of drivers in 90% of college searches.
I do get it. There is no doubt that cost is the most important. I guess it’s like if your neighbor asks you how do you like your car. Will it seat 7, how is it in the snow. Your response is, have you looked at what the monthly payments will be? How much the insurance will cost?
It just seems that those questions overwhelm many threads and the kid still has no info on the college. What seems to happen is on a thread multiple people will chime in with the cost factor and it does take over. Just seems that once it is mentioned or brought up the poster will either listen or not.
You guys are correct in its importance but it does make me a bit crazy
I can see therapy in my near future.