I forgot the most important thing. A poster helped my with unbelievable mentoring and assistance, including a direct recommendation, to get her dream job and in the process meet her very best friend.
Re: the cost issue - Many of the kids who post here are asking for advice that they are not getting from parents and / or gc’s. I think it is very mature of them to come here and seek it out. It is only fair that we inform them about the financial complexity. A Lexus costs pretty much the same whether a family earns $20K a year or $20 million a year. Not so with college. I never bring up affordability or cost with people face to face, except to say some general stuff about merit scholarships etc. , and even that, only if asked.
I agree with @fleishmo6 . There is a whiff of condescension in so many CC responses about cost. I think that the overwhelming majority of people out there know full well that college can be very expensive. Isn’t it all over the news?? I get tired too of the comments about family finances, and agree that they often swap everything else. Let someone mention it once, and then move on.
IME, this is definitely not true. Most people incorrectly assume that it will turn out affordable via scholarships or grants or magic genies and have no idea that they should target applications based upon their individual financial needs in order to help make things affordable. It’s very rare to get a parent (or student) in who’s the first in their family (recently) heading to college and knows about the nuances. There are oodles who end up in March/April (or later) saying, “I wish I knew.” I’d rather see overkill than see disappointed students/families. 'Tis not tough to merely skim replies if one already knows about something. It’s really tough to figure something out from the unknown.
There is a CC forum dedicated to “financial aid & scholarships.” It currently has 250 pages of threads. So, lots of resources at everyone’s disposal. It’s better to recommend that kids/parents go to that forum and educated themselves rather than derail other threads.
Just to be clear, as a moderator I can state that discussing financial considerations is NOT “derailing” college search threads.
But I think it can be good to remind people of the wealth of info on the financial aid and scholarship forum - I forget that it exists.
I’m nodding along with @Creekland
We must have been in a coma the first 17-18 years of our kid’s life. I had it stuck in my head that one could work their way through college (that had been true at one time, back in the day). On top of it, I assumed in-state universities were affordable. I never even looked at the COA.
Although our first kid went community college to in-state flagship, the cost of University of Illinois was definitely big time sticker shock. I know you’re probably thinking, there is no way anyone can be so ignorant! We were blissfully ignorant. Just too much other stuff going on and no one in my small social circle was talking about college = unaffordable. We didn’t even know what we didn’t know.
Second kid, we were smarter, but only because her stats got her big merit scholarships (which I found out about from CC). It was several very blunt posts about finances and affordability that shook me.
I just read a post in the last few days from a first gen. student asking about how paying for college works. All set to go to university this fall, and is shocked to find out how much is due first semester.
So, as a general rule, I’m in favor of the blunt, straight, broken record talk about affordability. 
As long as I have been on CC – and that is a very long time indeed – there has been a very commonly held misperception among both students and parents that FAFSA EFC = the maximum amount that a family will have to pay for college.
The “Financial Aid & Scholarships” thread is pretty much filled with questions from students after they discover that the above statement is akin to believing in fairies – and usually, unfortunately, after they have already applied to and been accepted by colleges. In any case, discussion in that thread tends to be focused on specifics – not the general, big picture issues that need to be considered at the beginning of the process.
Given that newcomers to CC are often asking for help at list-developing stage, finances are critically important – there is no point in recommending a college that is never going to be affordable for the student.
And for those who don’t want to see their threads “derailed” by a discussion of finances – it is easy enough to clarify in the OP - by simply volunteering at the outset that the OP doesn’t need financial aid.
There is good info on here indeed. However, I do think people should realize that they can contact the schools with questions rather than rely on “well intentioned” posters who may not really have the expertise required or have been away from that school and/or the college process for too long to give reliable info. Early on, I got just plain wrong advice from an expert insider that posted here regularly. The info was totally contradicted by the AD (who also said not to get answers on here and to call him). Could have cost admission, it was that big a deal. I believe 99.9% of posters on here have really good intentions but for certain questions, it is always good to verify specifics from the school itself.
Students are usually scared to ask admissions a question for fear they will get a black mark on their app and still being uncomfortable dealing with those in authoritative positions, and parents don’t want to be “that parent,” so I get the hesitation. But sometimes, one really should call the school and ask.
And when you call the school make sure you are talking to someone that really knows the answers as well!
I am a long time lurker, started my CC journey with DS17. I initially read the Chance Me threads to gauge my kids competitiveness and was frankly sacred. The most useful thing I learned is using NPC and figuring out Matches, safeties etc. I am grateful to all the CC parents who educate the newbies long after their kids have graduated.
I have not read all the thread yet.
But I have found CC incredibly helpful. I learned to run the NPCs (with an EFC higher than state school, no college savings, and minimal tolerance for debt), I learned that AUTO MERIT was the path for my motivated, practical, introverted kid. I would have never learned the books for SAT/PSAT prep, what are the best AP review books for the different subjects. And how incredibly hard it is to get Competitive Merit. This site is a wealth of information.
I learned about Honors Colleges and big merit money, which we passed up but at least I made the decision knowing what I passed up.
Nothing specific but overall an incredible source for information and discussion. I’ve learned a lot and actually feel enamored by college world. However, take things with few pinches of salt, don’t take anecdotes as gospel.
What is wrong with SMC? I know many very accomplished women who have graduated from Saint Mary’s. 94% of recent grads are employed or in grad school… Grad schools attended are top notch: Notre Dame, Harvard, Yale, Columbia, Duke, Emory, Villanova, BC, Michigan etc
There is a lot of very valuable information here and there are some very knowledgeable posters. But we live in a huge country with thousands of higher ed options so readers need to sift through the information and understand that what works for one college (or admissions officer) doesn’t necessarily work for all. As previously mentioned, it’s best to get some of that information directly from the college.
This is a place I can come to express my anxieties on all of you. Safely. Appropriately. Then I don’t cause my kid second-hand anxiety.
Great typo!
jym, perhaps I prefer even more the one above yours, which speaks of expressing anxieties “on” (not to) others. Since I have a daughter with Anxiety Disorder, that’s exactly what she does. I don’t just hear about the anxieties; I unwillingly receive the anxieties. Lucky me.
:)]
When I first found this site a few years ago I was under the impression my high stats kiddo could get an academic scholarship (and actually get accepted) from an Elite school…my spouse thought the same. We had saved a fair amount for our kids college (we are full pay) but the sticker shock of private colleges was sobering. Our younger child has some serious health issues and we aren’t certain she will be able to live independently-we need as much of our money as possible for this reason. Finding out that little tidbit about elite schools changed the trajectory significantly to say the least! Once I had that nugget of knowledge under my belt I set off on a merit hunt like nobody’s business complete fueled by information available from other parents here on college confidential. The results were wildly successful. I am incredibly grateful to all the people on this site.