How is it going for your freshman? (or soph.)

Parents Forum
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<p>D is doing well all the way around at Smith. Others are, too, but she seems to have hit the lottery there for her. While home for T-day, she said, "I can't imagine myself having gone to college anywhere else." She also said she had worked really hard not to fall in love with Smith while still looking...given her success at keeping her feelings buttoned up, I pity any suitors that may emerge in her future. </p>

<p>She's doing somewhere between outstanding and spectacular in her academics, loves her house, loves being a "big sister", loves the research job, is happily up to her eyebrows with the Orchestra, Wind Ensemble, and Newman Club, loves the area, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.
She's been accepted to the Washington D.C. program for next Summer/Fall and is now waiting to put her application in for Budapest in the Spring of 2007. Single-word description: yippeee! Three-word description: tired but happy.</p>

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<p>The only thing that makes sense to me is that they are now among like-minded kids </p>

<p>this is what I am guessing sjmom...my S seems to be so happy to be delivered into a dorm with so many talented people his age meandering around. He used to spend a rather lot of time on private pursuits although he was something of a team player. I hope he can extricate himself from his new friends enough to really study. One thing I like about S is that doesn't mind being around kids that are Smarter, Jump Higher, More Talented etc. And from what I can surmise, this is a good quality that leads to accumulating interesting friends, appreciating teachers and leads to coping with not being the top student anymore just fine. There are some super athletes and scholars up and down his hall. He is their biggest fan rather than being psyched out.
TheDad: Smith sounds like the Golden Decision for your D!</p>

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<p>A pool of like-minded, or at least simpatico, peers. Yeah, that's a big part of "fit" and I think that's the way D felt from the very first "prospect party" for Smith...I thought that collectively they were the best advertising for any college. Apparently she thought something similar.</p>

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<p>Thank you for this thread! I have been dying to tell how DD is doing.</p>

<p>Darling daughter is at Princeton. She is so happy I am amazed. As an alumna, I had an amazing education experience but a somewhat rocky social experience. Imagine showing up at Princeton in 1974 wearing an Outward Bound patch on your jeans and a bandana on your head, and being in a school with a 1:5 girl:boy ratio. EEeek.</p>

<p>DD loves the place. First of all, great rooming situation. Lucked into a single in the 3rd best dorm on campus. Next door, random luck, girl is her best friend. Has been writing for the Daily Princetonian, four articles published in two weeks, so interesting, loves it. Loves the eating club scene. Loves Psychology, really wants now for sure to major in Neuroscience. "Mom, it's so cool, they have an MRI in the basement...." Grades were B+-A at first, from midterms look to have risen. Very high A in Psych. Even multivariate calculus, which was lower, is up now and understood.</p>

<p>So social, happy. Academics, going really well. ECs, just kicking off, but so far wonderful.</p>

<p>Here's one thing though. Alcohol. D did not drink AT ALL in HS. Now is another story. Remember that part about the eating clubs? About the athletes who drink? About a "culture of alcohol amongst a certain sector"? Not nothing. So we are having a lot of dialogue about what it means to have a genetic predeliction to enjoy alcohol and how you have to set your own limits and enforce them yourself.</p>

<p>But overall? It's kind of obnoxious to say, because D had the legacy and pay full ride her on her side, and because it's so hard to get accepted there, but Princeton is a wonderful wonderful place for undergraduates. At least that's what about 10% of time predicted for full experience tells us. Fit. It is fit. DD is so happy to be with kids who are seriously social and yet there is a bar for the academics. Does that make sense?</p>

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<p>"there is a bar for the academics"???? really? LOL....</p>

<p>(I know what you meant but the "bar" just all fit the earlier discussion on alcohol!)</p>

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<p>He he.</p>

<p>Hadn't thought of that:). But for D, the issue was always that she had to choose in HS. Kids who were her social cohort vs. kids who were her academic cohort. At P they are close to the same. Still, I sense her academic cohort are higher academically than her social cohort. But that is her choice. And this is the best place for her. Even better than for me, her mom. Weird, huh? Karma or something...</p>

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<p>Muhlenberg Freshman D, still likes it a lot but the "glow" is fading. I think this is due to the end of soccer season and not seeing the same large group of soccer friends on a daily basis. </p>

<p>A couple of her close "boy" buddies are talking about transferring ( one due to a girlfriend in Boston) so this might be having an effect, too. </p>

<p>Muhlenberg is a small, nurturing school and it has been an excellent academic fit.
The honeymoon may be over, but am not too surprised because she "loved" it so much, that glow was due to mellow out eventually.</p>

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<p>My D is loving her school with a passion. She loves competing for her school. She is very bonded with the others on her team and has met a slew of great new friends-- many athletes, artists, & musicians (her three passions.)</p>

<p>It has not been an academic bed of roses; she's probably got a B average (so, not terrible) but this is lower than her HS performance was. However, the season for her sport did eat up quite a bit of time right off the bat, and navigating a newly "happening" social life ate up a big chunk too (like Aludaughter, she's hitting a different and much more fun social stride.) And let's face it, this is an academic school full of smart kids that was a reach for her.</p>

<p>Also a non drinker in HS, she has had drinks a few times but still does not drink typically. She does not feel pressured to drink though most kids do drink. One thing she mentioned (with dismay) was the number of kids who smoke. :( </p>

<p>I think she's only going to get better at the 'balancing act' so I am not too concerned... but I am watchful. I think she really hit the social part of school full throttle and, after a few early missteps pacing herself for the intensity of the workload, it seems she is now adopting the routines that will lead to solid academic accomplishment from here on out. Luckily she truly enjoys all of her classes.</p>

<p>One of the interesting things is how much better she does in the smaller/discussion/paper oriented classes. Very much confirms the LAC path she chose.</p>

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<p>S is a freshman at Berkeley and absolutely loves it. I almost hesitate to post about this because it seems uncomfortably like bragging, so I apologize in advance (and if it makes anyone feel any better, we've paid our misery dues with this kid in middle and high school, which does make this type of post seem a lot sweeter). </p>

<p>His first-semester experience (finals are in three weeks) at our flagship state school surpasses what I had pictured for him, and I'm still sort of shocked that he has jumped right into things with such energy and confidence. Things he has experienced in first three months:</p>

<p>Played in a charity Poker Tournament during Welcome Week against 500 players and won first prize: all expenses-paid trip to Cancun for two. Met and had photo taken with former vice presidential candidate John Edwards. Fireside chat with major candidate for governor while on a retreat in Tahoe. Was treated to dinner by a state assemblyman. Met and had book signed by Pulitizer Prize-winning author.</p>

<p>Anchored one side of a university debate on California's special elections. Was written up, quoted in the school newspaper the next day. Wrote an article that was published in a student magazine. Landed a paid internship on a state senate election campaign that will run through June. Spent all Election Day in a golf cart with another student, stopping kids on their way to class, asking them if they'd voted yet, explaining how to cast provisional ballots, etc...)</p>

<p>Attended several football games, sitting right behind the band in the student section, and has gained an appreciation for college football, even knowing some of the Pac-10 standings. (This for a kid who probably didn't know the difference between a field goal and a fullback in August.)</p>

<p>Got a job washing dishes one day a week in the dining hall. Getting A-minuses and B-pluses in classes and thinks he might swing straight A's. Wants to do two or three majors because he feels one isn't all that rigorous (poly sci). Has signed up for 20 units, five courses, next semester.</p>

<p>Fell in love with the main library one day while researching a paper. Learned last week that Cal transfered 57 units over from his AP and community college classes taken in high school, making him 3 units shy of junior standing even before this first semester. He has only one general breadth requirement course to take, so all the remaining classes will be of high interest.</p>

<p>Nice international roommate. Different interests but they get along. Likes his suitemates alright but not much in common.</p>

<p>Three of his four classes are quite large but lectures are great and TAs are brilliant and have been very accommodating (for example, S had to work his dishwashing shift during a review for the midterm for one class. He emailed his TA, who said to just call him the morning of the test. S called and had one-on-one phone review of the subject matter.) </p>

<p>Only complaint: dorm food has gotten old.</p>

<p>Only complaint on my part: He's not getting enough sleep and is too skinny from all the hills. </p>

<p>On a scale of 1 to 10, his year so far is a 10.</p>

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<p>Of course they are among more like-minded kids. D loves Amherst (freshman) whereas she had a close group of friends and is very shy, she has gone out and made many new friends. She loves her freshman seminar - Renaissance Marvels - and had a great time going with the class to DC and NYC to actually see the art and folios that they were studying. Has had to work harder than she ever did before, and is learning to balance study with fun. Still way more studying than playing, but isn't that what is expected at the demanding schools? Loves all the girls on her floor except her roommate. That is her only issue - she would have requested a room change if it didn't mean leaving the rest of her floor mates. The girl talks to only 2 girls on the floor, and only rarely, and virtually never to D. Ah, well...life's lessons. But she is already excited about next year - planning to get a room in the Spanish House (with others on her floor), and has already talked to the office about study abroad. And she and her advisor have already worked out a tentative 4 year plan! When she was home, she was very excited about next semester and the next 3 years.</p>

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<p>momof2inca, I am glad to see that your son is thriving at Berkeley. With the money you saved by your son going to Berkeley, throw him a few bucks so he can eat at some of the restaurants. Berkeley has great restaurants. :)</p>

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<p>what a spectrum of flagship major universities, wonderful LACs, Ivies and great midsized colleges....enjoying your posts and your wonderful kids. Now that my S is returned to college after Thanksgiving, guess it is return to my making this confounded adjustment to the college emancipation work! Their social lives seem to be thriving! Here's to all of DD and DSs managing to prepare for finals while getting those last brilliant efforts into papers. Tansytroll, sorry your D did not luck out on roommate this round but she has such plans.<br>
Parent Life after S and D go to college could be titled if we parents are so lucky.. Renaissance Marvels.</p>

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<p>It is going well (I think) for my freshman Dartmouth daughter. I will know more when she comes home for Christmas. She posts here so, she can answer for herself, but I think she is becoming much more social than she used to be (which is a good thing, she did not have the exciting high school experience with many close buddies). Classes seem to be going well, after some initial disappointment with getting some third choice courses - we don't talk about grades, although we may at break! She is planning her next 3 years, and looking forward to next quarter, when 1 or 2 classes will be more her thing.</p>

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<p>My Carleton frosh just finished the first trimester--two thumbs up! He's actually dreading being "home" (the dorm feels homey now) for six weeks. He misses his new friends and hectic life up north. I did buy him some Malt-O-Meal to ease the transition. :) Not much I can do about the snow.</p>

<p>My Bucknell soph was in for Thanksgiving, but still has exams before the holidays can start. Two more thumbs up!</p>

<p>I really enjoy hearing about all of their classes and activities. It's the first time they've been happy about the educational process in years. Come to think of it, it applies to me as well.</p>

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<p>Daughter is @ Bryn Mawr & is doing great.
She has fascinating stories to tell about
her experiences & the people she meets.
As a freshmen on the varsity basketball
team. she is getting quality playing time.
During new perspective student weekend,
the bball coach & the admissions dept.
asked D to escort a perspective student
for the weekend. I thought this to be
unusual. How many of you know of a
freshmen that had been selected over
upperclassmen to show perspective students
the campus, stay with her overnight &
represent the college? My D thought
nothing of it. I reminded her that she was
@ Bryn Mawr for 7 or 8 weeks & that it was
an honor for her to be selected as a freshmen
to show perspective students around.
She said I was over reacting.</p>

<p>How about the first away overnight trip
story? Daughter is straight & has
a boyfriend. On her first overnight away
game she has to share a hotel/motel room
with two (2) upperclassmen team mates
that are gay. So..... how did she respond?
She told me it was no big deal. Nothing happened.</p>

<p>As of mid-term grades, Daughter had all As & 1 B
As of mid-term, I am totally bewildered & in awe
of her experiences as a first semester freshmen.
I need a break!</p>

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<p>proud2be,</p>

<p>My D has hosted recruits too... I think they actually prefer freshmen to do this as they are more likely to live on campus, eat in dining hall, and be plugged in to freshman life. Also, less likely to be of legal drinking age.</p>

<p>Interesting to note for recruits: at least at D's school, there seems to be a desire to get recruits who will mesh well (personality wise) with the existing team. Coach cares what players think about recruits.</p>

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<p>My daughter loves Chicago. I think she enjoys the interesting students and professors the most. She has found her people after a less-than-challenging high school. She loves her quirky but brilliant humanities professor and talks about her a lot. She is super excited about her biology class and the work coming up in the next quarters. Her professor asked her for extra copies of some slides she made--said they were as good as the textbook (had to brag). Chemistry has been a chore, since the curriculum is different than the standard general chemistry, and she has had to teach herself a lot of new material. I think she will consider using a tutor for that next semester. She is a dj for the campus radio station, which surprised us no end. She has made a lot of friends, and her dorm is really tight. She was surprised that she had an adjustment to city life after the safe old burbs. She thought she was more than ready for the big city. She seems to have adjusted now; is taking the train here and there and is looking for a job for next quarter. We spoiled her at Thanksgiving and sent her home with lots of good food--and toilet paper. I could not believe it when she told me that she and her roommate were using paper towels because they had used two boxes of Kleenex and were too lazy to walk to the coop to purchase more. I don't want to know any more about dorm life!</p>

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<p>These are all the stories we do not put in the annual Holiday cards to family and friends! Good thing we can be proud virtual parents. :)</p>

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<p>Like Texastaximom mine completed her first quarter and is home for about 5 weeks. I can tell it is going to be a long month for all of us. As much as we love her and missed her we have gotten used to her being gone. The dynamics of the siblings is back in full swing after a few days of good behavior. And I can't report that mine came home a neat freak. She is as messy as ever and her trail is all over the house.
Positives- she loved most of her classes. She is proud of the grades she has earned. Hoping for all A's. She has felt challenged and feels her classmates are for the most part bright and interesting. She is at her safety school so that was a concern. She has had great advising and the school has been helpful. She like SBMom's D has discovered that she loves the discussion that goes on in small classes. Her least favorite class was the 100 student lecture class. She feels the size of the school is perfect about 4000 undergrads.
I am also proud of how well she has handled all the difficult things that were thrown her way. Katrina. Being really sick. Living with the bare number of your belongings. Dealing with all the stuff that you take for granted that your parents have done for you.
She stresses about school so between that and being sick for so much of the quarter she is too thin. She's discovered she doesn't love cold. And also a new appreciation for her hometown and the ocean. She talks both about her future path and the school she is at and also about transferring at times. She has made friends but hasn't found her niche just yet. She says she has done some drinking but not a ton. She feels that at her school you can go either way no pressures.
Like SBMom has said somewhere here she is also surprised at the number of people who smoke. She also felt that when she was in New Orleans as well. Maybe it's a Ca thing.
She has experience new foods from different ethnic groups and now loves broccoli.
In many ways she is more grown up but I also see her loving getting to be the child once again.</p>

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<p>My daughter said it all: "I'm so glad all those other colleges rejected me, because there's nowhere I'd rather be than here!"</p>