<p>My daughter would not ALLOW me to see anything that she wrote. Of course, she didn't hesitate to ask for the credit card when she had to pay for the application! Just Kidding... I was actually delighted that she wanted to do the whole thing by herself. Nervous about potential careless errors, yes, but delighted nonetheless.</p>
<p>justamom, I agree that under normal circumstances "the teens (16-18) are too many" colleges and scalphunting whether 1 or 16 is just wrong. But how many of us have normal circumstances? Had D not had "lovely financial considerations" we could have limited her list (she applied to 14) and removed a few financial safeties (an in-state public and at least 2 small LAC's). Without the financial considerations and had she known she would choose not to play ball once arriving on campus , 1 or 2 more may have fallen. That would get us to 9-10. Had she been sure that she would never want a college in a city we could have eliminated 4 more (including the one she is attending- they sure change a lot that last year ;)) and I think 6 should be "limited" enough for anyone. </p>
<p>Of course, she would have applied SCEA to her first choice and possibly limited her list even more. </p>
<p>Athletics, financial considerations both need and merit, and the vagaries of selective college admissions. I think 14 was about right for her. And the costs of all those apps was spread out over a 4 month period, with some being waived. I wouldn't be so quick to judge.</p>
<p>We had been encouraged to take a back seat and then his GC, who is very hands on, unexpectedly went out sick. S found himself behind the 8-ball, so he finished one on-line application, I printed it off, and filled in blanks for remaining on-line apps from his template while S worked on his essays. I didn't mind pitching in so long as his attention was also on the app process, and I was simply providing ministerial help versus coming up with the answers.</p>
<p>I'm afraid I win hands down. I did everything, except the essays and translating the school reports:( I was told they had to be done by a certified translator who took 100 $ a page + 15 dollars for every photocopy. This year I saw on CC to my rage that most international students do it themselves). I even did the evaluations and the recommendations which I rewrote in English in front of the teachers whose English was dire and who understood nothing about what was asked on the forms. I did the posting and the computer work. Thank goodness D was only applying to 3 colleges!</p>
<p>I don't have a problem with parents filling in basic information on college apps. Nothing wrong with that at all. So long as the kid does all the essays and short answers. Some kids may not allow their parents to be involved at all, and that's fine too. Doesn't make anyone superior.</p>
<p>Nor do I have a problem with a kid applying to 16 colleges. Personal circumstances may dictate that. Its not taking away from anyone else. There are free applications for those who would like to apply to 16 but cannot pay the fees, I believe.</p>
<p>The one who applies to 3 schools, and does not let their parents into the process is not a better being than the one who applies to 16, writes fantastic creative essays but lets their parets do the drudge work.</p>
<p>I don't see the logic of "you are only going to attend 1 school."</p>
<p>It's so unfair that parents will fill out even the factual stuff. If it's so easy, why not just leave it for your own kids to do? Have them ask you the questions they're unsure about. When I was filling mine out, I didn't even get to ask my parents because they were too busy... just left them blank. (I also didn't have anyone proofread anything, even the essays, but perhaps it would've been a good idea). It looks like the colleges didn't care much because I got in (highly selective ones too).</p>
<p>As to the Op's question: I researched. I drove the truck. I paid what need to be paid. W and I did the repetitive trained-ape tasks. I also worked very hard with her to find her voice in her essays and statements. We engaged in writing exercises but she wrote her own essays and statements. </p>
<p>I am comfortable with my level of involvement. I made the statement going through the process that I was going to be her GC. I planned to educate myself enough to put her on (as much as possible) equal footing with what the kids from the high dollar prep schools were getting. In fact, I stole a number of ideas, timetables, and forms straight from the websites of those schools. Did I get there? Probably not. But I got far enough. ;)</p>
<p>I did not help in any way with my sons' applications. I offered to help but they declined. I did not even get to see their essays. Imagine that! The limited help I did- writing checks for the application fees and instructing S2 how to send mail overnight.
S1 applied to only one school ED. S2 applied to 4 schools, two of which used the common application so they were all manageable.</p>
<p>When full price private university attendance is around $50K per year, acceptance rates at selective schools hover around 10 - 16%, and different financial aid can make a difference of tens of thousands of dollars in total cost over four years, I don't think spending the hundreds of dollars needed to apply to a dozen or more colleges can be rationally criticized in terms of practicality.</p>
<p>It depends. if you judge that your daughter/son is lazy then don't help them. But if you have one of those kids that you know they are not lazy then a little bit of help is ok. My hand writing is bad so I used Microsoft word and Avery products to fill out postcards and envelopes. It's faster this way. I also helped all of her friends. I answered question about college admissions process and I gave them leftover stuff that D did not used.
My daughter filled out the application, I feel she needs to know a lot of information that might be helpful to her in the long run like where she was born, where did her parents go to school, etc..
I helped read the essays and proofread her applications. But it's entirely her voice. At this point, I'm not even sure that the essays are not pedestrian, full of platitutes or banalities as Harry Bauld wrote in his book. I love to read her essays because she writes very well and I know her well enough to give her feedback(whether that sounds like her). Infact, the Stanford website, says it's ok to get feedback from parents and teachers as long as it's not hired help.</p>
<p>I did the "scut" on the common app and UC applications. My d grudgingly let me read her essays. I felt a little guilty about making too much money to get aid, but not being able to pay the full EFC so I "spearheaded " the quest for merit aid. That meant a lot of short essays. The school has no guidance counselor. I do realize how hard it must be for kids who are ambitious but must do it alone, but I hope they will benefit from being motivated and self-sufficient. There are many uneven things in this world that I can't take responsibility for.</p>
<p>The first thing I did last summer was buy a filing cabinet so that all the college stuff would be super organized and easy to find. Knowing my D I could forsee an absolute chaos of paperwork if things weren't efficiently done.
This worked out really well.</p>
<p>I have no problem with parents filling out factual stuff but in our case, D did do the apps on her own. I gave her the info she didn't know, and I proofread everything prior to final submission. As to her essays and short answers, I only pointed out minor errors or suggested rewriting for better flow or in a more natural style that sounded more like her real voice. </p>
<p>As to topics, she asked advice on whether this one or that one would better show her personality or passions, but I had no part in the actual expression or writing, or her final choices. She wrote several essays (13 in total, including the short ones), edited many times, some discarded, others that she ultimately chose to refine. </p>
<p>I have a real problem with essay "consultants" and parents getting involved in the actual writing, and according to what I hear around here, many families do retain these consultants. </p>
<p>D applied to 9 schools that she selected: 3 safeties, 3 matches, and 3 reaches. It's a good list, 7 of which are a good fit for my D and where she would be happy. 2 of the safeties are included "just in case" and are guaranteed through the UC's ELC.</p>
<p>I also have a problem with kids applying to schools for ego's sake or where they have no intention of attending...it's not fair to others. One kid at D's school is absurdly applying to 22 colleges!</p>
<p>DD applied to 6/7 schools. I feel that if she apply to anymore schools she would burst. All the schools are that are on her list are schools that she would be glad going. Her preference is to stay in California. She also felt that it's not right to apply to other schools just for the sake of applying.</p>
<p>Some of the things that high schools do actually contribute to the vanity applications. Our graduation program included a list of acceptances by each senior's name, including whether or not he got into the honors program, and what scholarships he received. On one hand, it was nice to recognize the seniors for their accomplishments; on the other hand, it encouraged many to overapply because they didn't want to have "less" acceptances than the rest of the kids.</p>
<p>We looked over her apps after she was finished. She just wanted us to make sure that nothing was left out or wrong. We did not add to or make content changes to her essays. </p>
<p>Now that she has been accepted to her 1st choice we have told her to show us everything that comes in the mail from them so we do not miss any dollar deadlines!</p>
<p>doubleplay, good point. That sounds kind of obnoxious. Our program lists the school you're going to, if decided, and your major, if declared. If there's nothing under the kid's name I don't assume he/she isn't going to college; I assume they didn't feel like filling out the paper work for the program!</p>
<p>The only problem I see with this topic are the finite answers. To think that parents shouldn't help AT ALL with the application process is wrong. Those opinions are based on limited information. Just because "Some" parents are too busy to help their kids doesn't mean that the parents who take an active role in their kid's future are wrong for helping. Just because "Some" kids are lazy and don't do anything with their lives except go to school, and don't deserve help, doesn't mean all kids have that much free time. </p>
<p>My son takes 9 classes. Starts at 7am and gets out at 3:30pm. Until recently, he immediately went to the weight room and/or football practice. Gets home at 6pm. Eats dinner. 7pm-10pm does home work. 10-11pm takes shower, contacts, gets clothes ready for tomorrow, etc... Goes to bed at 11pm-12am depending on how the homework went. Wakes up at 5am and starts all over again. Nothing needs to be "Cut Out", nor should anything be. </p>
<p>Granted, this time of the year it's better. Football is over and there are some more free hours. Unfortunately, if you want to be agressive with college applications, you need to be starting them in September. If you want to wait until after Christmas, then that's your problem.</p>
<p>Also, I and the Mrs has been involved with our kid's schools, grades, homework, athletics, choir, PTA, School board, etc... since the 1st grade. We're not going to stop because it's now time for college. This doesn't imply that we ever "Did" anything for them that was their direct responsibility. They did the studying. They did the tests. They did the essays. They dealt with the counselors and admin for transcripts and paperwork. And the list goes on.</p>
<p>Again; this isn't to say that a parent SHOULD or SHOULDN'T help their kid's with their application. This is about finite answers using words such as ALWAYS, NEVER, etc... There are times when a parent's help in the college application process is welcomed and warranted. There are also times when applying to 16 colleges is warranted. It doesn't hurt anyone else if they apply to 16 schools. All it does is give the kid MORE options. There are no bad lessons here to the kid that others will do their work for them. Unless of course the kid has all the time in the world. Doesn't live up to their responsibilities. Is lazy. etc... I've already said that in that scenario that I would tell my kid to do it themselves. That isn't the case with my kids. I'm sorry that there are some lazy and undeserving kids. I'm also sorry that there are parents who feel that they are "Too Busy" to help their kids. (That is one area I would say deserves a "Finite" description). NEVER is a parent too busy to help their kids. But anyway; there are plenty of times that a parent's assistance in the application process is warranted.</p>
<p>There are quite a few questions on all of the applications that require parental input, particularly financial questions and where and when H & I graduated from college, names of employers and titles. While I have no opposition to parents reading their childs essays, if and only if requested by their child, and commenting, they should not write any of the essays, long or short answer. </p>
<p>I have done some of the scholarship research for D, because like many of the parents above we are in the financial aid no-mans-land. Merit only money. She is taking 7 AP classes plus debate. NHS, Class Officer and other ECs that eat up 20 hours a week. Like ChristCorps S she is up at 5:30 getting ready for school, she either has meetings, AP study sessions before and after school (mandatory - school started late and can not cover all of the AP coursework in class time), preping freshmen for tournaments, tutoring Srs who may not pass year end matriculation...the list goes on. She gets home from ECs between 6-7pm, eats dinner and does HW until 12-1.</p>
<p>I helped with non-essay, non-creative parts of the applications. My son was attending school full time and had night college classes. As a result, he was spending 60+ hours a work week doing nothing but school. I was unemployed and then working part time. My son's school had no GC's to speak of, either, and expects parents to do a lot of the work helping the school with things like that (required parent volunteer hours, things like that.) Since I had more time than he did, I was sort of his on-call full time GC. </p>
<p>He applied to 9 schools, largely because financial aid was such an important issue. Only half of them used the Common App, and all of those had at least one supplement and additional essays. He had attended 2 high schools and 2 colleges, so it was a tangle of 20+ essays, forms, recommendation forms, transcript requests, etc. I organized all of that into a task list on backpackit.com, so we could check off things when they got done. I filled in the basic factual information on forms, and kept track of the online application account information. I set up email accounts in my domain for college emails, so they went to one place and we could easily filter them. </p>
<p>Son's job was all the essays, achievement lists, short answer questions, requesting recommendations and transcripts. His job was <em>also</em> to get good test scores and keep very high grades, to have the credentials to be considered at the schools he wanted to attend. I tracked progress and pestered him about deadlines. </p>
<p>I don't consider this something that every parent should do; I had the time to devote to it, so I did. I think someone else mentioned something similar -- I couldn't afford any money for his education, but I could give him time.</p>
<p>My son was only applying to two schools, but had left it to the very last minute, because he was working on a few big projects at his school and then had finals to deal with. So he came home from boarding school two days before we were leaving for two weeks in Australia--and had one day to do the applications.</p>
<p>So, while he wrote the essays, my D (whose apps were all in weeks early), my DH, and I did all the scut work on the apps--making them look good, typing in lists of ECs, all that kind of stuff. We were his servants while he did all the thinking. We dropped the envelope at the post office on the way to the airport.... and "we" got a wait-list (CalTech) and an acceptance (MIT).</p>