<p>Parents -- have you ever done anything mildly dishonest to help your kid get into a specific college, or just improve their grades in high school in the hopes that it will help them get into college? Maybe you looked the other way while your child did something dishonest in order to improve their grade.</p>
<p>Of course I know all you CC parents are WONDERFUL people and have good morals, but I am wondering of the hyper-competitive nature of the whole college admissions process ever made you do things that you never dreamed you would have when your kids were younger.</p>
<p>If it wasn't YOU, maybe it was your friend's cousin's hairdresser's neighbor who did it. </p>
<p>Remember -- we don't know who you are ... are let's not be too judgemental.</p>
<p>No, and I haven't been tempted. If my D weren't qualified to go to a given school, I don't see that it would help her in the long run to manipulate things to make it happen. It never occurred to me either. I want her to live up to her potential, not somebody else's.</p>
<p>Nope. I far more preferred to have my kids get accepted to colleges on their own merits, not due to some subterfuge. If a college rejected them, my thoughts were that that meant that there were colleges better suited to them.</p>
<p>No, but I understand the temptation. I know someone whose son was accepted to the Ivies last year. She paid someone to help him with his essay which I believe is more common now.. at least in NY. But, I could not go there. It seems dishonest. I welcome anyone else's take on it.I am not trying to be judgemental.</p>
<p>^Marie51, I agree with you. It's become increasingly more common to have "tutors" get paid to "look over" applications and that in it of itself doesn't bother me - but it usually degenerates into tutors writing and rewriting the applicants' essays and apps for pay. And THAT disgusts me.</p>
<p>Help my children understand what it takes to succeed? Absolutely. Guide them over the rough spots? Sometimes. Suggest anything even mildly dishonest? No way. Why would I undo eighteen years of positive parenting by endorsing dishonesty in any form?</p>
<p>I would not tolerate any kind of dishonesty on my child's part in school or in the application process. I sincerely believe it would hurt him more in the long run if I did that. Better he has a lifetime to feel proud of what he achieved honestly than a lifetime of regret about doing something unethical for a shorterm gain. </p>
<p>As for me, I don't know how it would be possible for me to get in him to a college. I mean, really, as much as I am trying to help my kid make decisions, what power do I have over the process? None. </p>
<p>I got sent a link to a site where they say that ivy league grads "edit" kids essays for applications. The "before" and "after" essays were disturbing. It was not editing, it was rewriting. I feel like that is not ethical but obviously that is just my own opinion. If spending hundreds of dollars for a rewrite is what it would take to get my kid into a college, it's not the college for him.</p>
<p>No, I would have been very disappointed if my daughters would have done anything dishonest to get better grades. We also never pulled any strings to try to get our older daughter admitted anywhere, or try to game the system. She did it all on her own.</p>
<p>There are more important things than getting into good schools - integrity, self-respect, sense of right and wrong... It is also important that my kids know I have faith in them to do it on their own.</p>
<p>Faking something that is big or important enough to provide a good college admissions boost will probably be found out. Faking something that is so small and insignificant as to not be found out is unlikely to provide any college boost. So what is the point of faking anything?</p>
<p>I haven't and won't - no college is worth my integrity or that of my children. I have a friend who does her daughter's homework when the daughter has too much to get done in a night. She doesn't want her to go without sleep or get sick, nor does she want her GPA to suffer. She also has her older daughter do the younger one's Spanish homework at least once a week. I'm sure in the scheme of things this isn't the most dishonest thing going on, but I don't think she's doing her daughter any favors because the child will have to manage her time and do her work once she gets to college. Oh, and once the mother got a "C" on a homework assignment and the kid had a fit.</p>
<p>heck no! who has time for that! i am really busy trying to get my ninth grader engaged and passing all her classes!</p>
<p>thankfully, her older sister is taking care of business for herself. i don't think we would have time to monitor every little thing for TWO kids!</p>
<p>I live in NYC where it's not uncommon to find out someone applying to the same school as your kid just gave a major gift. It's not dishonest but.....</p>
<p>we are not as smart as The Kid. Our knowledge and help would downgrade his work. We offer encouragement, hope, and love, besides the bread and water and thin blanket.</p>
<p>Nope...never done it. But I know of a relative whose kid wouldn't fill out the college application (he had a sports scholarship to go there and just had to fill out the paperwork) and one of his parents did it. Same parents would write essays for kids in college if the kids got too busy. They were absolutely dumbfounded when we were SHOCKED at their actions when they told us!</p>
<p>like what? I had an English teacher friend proof D's essay. Is that dishonest? I don't think so. I can't imagine what else we as parents could do. It's not like we can alter SAT scores, transcripts or recs.</p>
<p>nope ... and we went the exact opposite way ... in HS we told our kids to enojy themselves and to find themselves ... and, when asked, advocated against approaches like prep courses and multiple sittings of tests. There are 3000 colleges ... I believe for each kid probably well over 100 would provide a terrific experience ... live your life and the college experience will take care of itself. </p>
<p>A saying I really like (and try to live by) ... "the true test of a person's character is what they do when no one is looking" ... throughout one's life there are hundreds of opportunities to take advantage of situations or to take the easy road ... these situations expose a person's true character IMO.</p>
<p>(BTW - the position about not cheating is not just a statement around taking the moral high ground ... it's also pragmatic ... if we need to cheat (or spend a ton of money and/or time) to get my kid into a school; if that is the difference in their admission ... then we may have pushed them too high up the food chain ... we're not hung up on prestige but on finding the right school for our kids ... if they can't get in being themselves then I can't imagine how it is the best place for them to spend the next four years of their lives ... pure pragmatic parenting).</p>
<p>Any parent spending time on a college discussion board obviously has an extremely active interest in their kid and college. </p>
<p>A lot of parents are absolutely obsessed with "college" and will do anything to make sure their kid gets in wherever they want. Just because you don't do something illegal or fraudulent doesn't mean you haven't had a massively unfair influence.</p>
<p>What would happen to your kid in middle or high school if you didn't assist at all?</p>
<p>I am talking about this for a reason. First off, there is nothing wrong with providing support for your kid. The problem I have is the denial I see here in this thread. All of you are attempting to put forth this false image of perfection, when it is completely unnecessary. Who are you trying to impress?</p>