<p>I was responding to post # 152</p>
<p>I HATE the term lesser schools, its very snooty and arrogant when a person says that about others CHOICES in life for college</p>
<p>Lesser my.....</p>
<p>So was I, cgm.</p>
<p>dg5052- I am with you all the way- I KNOW that to succeed in life and not struggle or whatever, you can go to a "lesser school"</p>
<p>to the "top" in life...what in the WORLD does that mean? My H does very well, is happy happy happy, is his own boss, is respected and went to a trade school</p>
<p>Dad II, you are lucky you are spared from getting a beating(at least this time) by posting the right PC thing. Kudos to you. I think you've learned your lesson well.</p>
<p>Sincerely,
Loose cannon, oops 99cents</p>
<p>Obsessed mom, you said
[quote]
You just don't give up all that you have worked for, put it aside because now it is time for applications. Get Real!
[/quote]
</p>
<p>But what are you giving up if you say the biographical part of the Common App takes only "a matter of minutes" (post 157)? Is it unrealistic to commit time to both extracurriculars and to filling out that part of the Common App?</p>
<p>I concede that there may be no advantage to parents filling out that part, except more free time for the kids. But why can't these kids fill out that part if it takes only minutes? They'd be doing this for their future. </p>
<p>Do you help them fill out apps when applying for jobs as well? A lot of the apps require a lot of biographical info and actually take more time.</p>
<p>You know, somehow, S has managed to fill out I-don't-know-how-many internship applications this year in spite of the fact that he's under much more intense time pressures than he was Sr. year in HS.</p>
<p>The difference? He is on his own. He has 2 more years of life under his belt. He does not have 7 applications due the same day. None of the apps require 4 essays. I could go on......</p>
<p>I do not regret helping in this minor way back when I could. It did no harm to him or anyone else. It was simply a natural result of the way our family operates. And if another family feels differently, fine.****</p>
<p>My D did most of her 6 apps on her own. She's had such a feeling of accomplishment and she learned more about the schools that way. Each kid is different - when my son gets to this point - he'll want everything done for him (which I won't do).</p>
<p>Owens,</p>
<p>To me, the operative term in your post is "most."</p>
<p>Same here.</p>
<p>The issue here that seems to be exciting people is the notion of any help at all.</p>
<p>Re post #152:
[quote]
Anybody can apply to college, however the people who are most competitive will always put more time into the process. No kid ever became valedictorian by not exerting tremendous time studying. ... Whether we like it or not, kids coming out of the more selective schools have greater opportunities in certain fields. ..So I don't see my involvement as stifling my child's growth. On the contrary, it is my last opportunity to help jumpstart a succesful future.
[/quote]
The people who end up ahead of the pack with "greater opportunities" from the get go are the ones who are the most proactive, generally seizing opportunities when they see them and managing whatever needs to be done without parental prodding or administrative support. </p>
<p>As a parent I feel flattered when my kids ask me to read over an essay, but I know from my own life and from observing my kids that too many cooks can spoil the broth-- and in competitive situations, initiative and self-reliance are among the most important qualities that distinguish the people who seem to always come out on top. Basically, by the time one kid has had their parents proofread and help fill out the forms, some other kid has already submitted their application and moved on; maybe for college apps it doesn't make much of a difference, but for jobs and internships it can be a different story -- sometimes the position has been filled long before the application deadline. </p>
<p>So I don't buy the "jumpstart" argument. Too much parental "help" is, in the end, a reflection of the parent's belief that that the kid isn't quite capable of doing it all on his own, coupled with parental fears of failure. (i.e., that it won't get done unless the parent does it). I've got one kid who was more ambitious and an earlier bloomer than the other, and I know that I spent my life trying to hold back the ambitious one -- she's more likely to take over my share of work out of impatience with me than the other way around.</p>