<p>Funny thing, is, I did not fill out my children's apps, but I am not all superior about it.
They just did not need me to do it. </p>
<p>But my view is that its okay for parents to do some parts of the app. Really. And I did not feel the need to call any of those people pathetic, or any of the other names in previous pages. And that its okay to have different views without one thinking that theirs is the right view. </p>
<p>Actually, I filled out several apps. for a friend's child. The woman is divorced and simply incapable, the son works in a grocery store after he gets out of his school sport every evening, and on the weekends. I guess I am pathetic..</p>
<p>Since the SATs require that the kids not only fill out the information but bubble the information, in way more complex ways than any college app, surely any kid on CC has demonstrated his basic form-filling-out skills and need not re-prove them to colleges?</p>
<p>Most of those kids who "fail to choose the right thing to do" in CGMs words would have filled the apps just fine after coming from their clubs/sports/meetings. They'd go to sleep at 3am, get up tired, go on to get their As in all the classes and do all their activities. They would have had it all done on time, and done well. </p>
<p>The point is, their parents WANT to help. The parents can ONLY help with filling out the forms - they can't replace the kids at any other activity.The result -- he parents feel involved and helpful, and kids are a little less stressed, and a little less tired. What's the big deal? They turn out just as successful in college as they would if they filled out the paperwork "all by themselves".</p>
<p>*ust a thought, but guess some parents don't thing their offspring should ever have to sacraifice a meeting, or miss a class to do something that is paramount in their own lives
*</p>
<p>What I see is kids ARE ALREADY making choices and sacrifices.
They DO know how to arrange priorities to juggle the many facets of their lives.
They get themselves to school, to work, to sports, to extracurriculars AND they volunteer AND they write essays not just for homework but for college apps.</p>
<p>I have the viewpoint that the kids who are already having to make tough choices- shouldn't ALWAYS have to give up ALL sleep or down time.</p>
<p>If they are able to ask for help- recognizing that they need a break just to maybe get 6 hours of sleep one night, or spend time with their siblings, and to facilitate that a parent is able to take over some paperwork- then I think that is very healthy & good way to keep perspective on the process</p>
<p>I just can't believe some of the comments on this thread! Any parent who has been involved in raising a child doesn't just stop at the most important juncture--college admissions! If you have been at all involved, then I assume you have helped with visiting schools, discussing options, finances, etc. Getting out the applications is the last step. Simply assisting a tightly scheduled teen, who has proven themselves for the past 17 years, to get out the applications, is helping to lighten the stress from a very stressful process.
Secondly, for those who just don't get it, not all college applications are the same nor are the colleges and the expectations. Many schools have numerous supplemental essays and questions. The most selective schools require more in their applications as they do of their applicants. Hence, the long committed hours to clubs, teams, etc. Anybody who thinks that a kid who is president of numerous clubs, etc. can simply not go when they are in charge is kidding themselves. You just can't stop attending if you are Editor-in-Chief of the school newspaper or the star athlete who the team depends on. You just don't give up all that you have worked for, put it aside because now it is time for applications. Get Real!</p>
<p>Of course I helped with the grunt work. That's what I could contribute, so I did. She'll be on her own soon enough, and she's got enough on her plate to deal with. I don't see this whole paperwork nightmare as some kind of rite of passage or test. It's a pain in the neck and very time consuming. I had the time and she didn't. I didn't mess with her essays at all.</p>
<p>"The choices that I make or my child makes do not threaten or invalidate the choices that you and your family make."</p>
<p>This is incorrect. It does hurt the chances of those who didn't have help. If it didn't make a difference, why would you do it for your children?</p>
<p>Like most others who were involved, I helped with checking to see that there were no typos, reviewed the essays for any errors, mailed supplemental materials at the post office since school hours did not coincide, etc. There was a lot of time and money spent researching and visiting schools as there was time spent editing and reediting essays. I never counted the hours.
Anybody can apply to college, however the people who are most competitive will always put more time into the process. No kid ever became valedictorian by not exerting tremendous time studying. They got there due to smarts and effort. The same goes for getting into more selective schools. For some, college is just the next step expected; for others it involves a dream they work towards, take seriously and hope that it will take them to the top in life. Whether we like it or not, kids coming out of the more selective schools have greater opportunities in certain fields. That's not to say that a hard working student from a lesser school can't get ahead, but it will take them longer. It has been documented in studies.
So I don't see my involvement as stifling my child's growth. On the contrary, it is my last opportunity to help jumpstart a succesful future.</p>
<p>All I have done are three things: 1) asking the question: have you completed this ....... yet? it is due one week from today. 2) giving her my educational bio (I did not get a college eductaion in this country), and 3) handing over my credit card. </p>
<p>Honest, I did not even read over one application nor one essay.</p>
<p>Obsessed mom, I meant to ask only about filling out the biographical/factual data on the application. How much time did that take you per application?</p>
<p>To respond about an unfair advantage, as expressed in post 149 and others:</p>
<p>I disagree that a student whose parent is willing and able to help with administrative tasks has an undue advantage over anyone. Probably, what it means it that the student was able to get 30 min. more sleep on a few nights. If you drive your student to school and another student has to get up 30 minutes earlier to catch a ride or a bus, does your student have "an unfair advantage?" Many of your daughters woke up at least 30 minutes earlier than my son did so that they could do their hair. Is that unfair? </p>
<p>With all due respect, I think we are making mountains out of molehills here.</p>
<p>Dad II... I want to compliment you because I know from your other posts that you are definitely a very involved parent -- but if you have the ability to stay engaged intellectually & emotionally without taking over the process for your daughter -- more power to you! (Though I'll bet that you asked that #1 question more often than necessary -- if your d. responded by rolling her eyes and saying "yeeessss, daaaaaad" in an exasperated tone, then she probably already knew about the deadline).</p>
<p>In response to how much time did it take to fill out "biographical data", the answer is--a matter of minutes. Once the common app was completed, it was in for most schools. Those schools not using the common app, I then checked.</p>
<p>By the way, our college guidance office recommended that parents check everything over thoroughly as a second set of eyes and that kids copy the application before submitting it to then again check it. You be surprised how many mistakes are made. Better to be safe before pressing that submit button.</p>
<p>too bad my D only got into a "Lesser Schooll" all on her own - </p>
<p>poor baby, doesn't have that same dream to "go to the top" in life, she just doesn't have the ambition I guess - too bad all she did was find the perfect school for her in the right location, with the right major, the right chance to intern, met some wonderful kids- she is doomed to a life of having to work harder and always be behind those kids who go accepted an strived for the TOP, most selective schools, boy, can't wait to share that with her and the MILLIONS of kids who go to "lesser schools"- yes, she has no ambition- just is going to intern, work, get a great GPA, darn it....</p>
<p>cgm, I'm with you--the reference to "lesser schools"--by whose criteria? I HOPE obsessed mom was not referring to those of our kids whose passion for life and learning doesn't necessarily translate into top grades--those kids who have a unique view of life and their place in it--those kids who are all about the learning and not so much about the grades--because thank goodness there are wonderful schools for those kids, too. As far as kids attending the "more selective schools" having a better chance in life--the question is, what KIND of life? Not the kind of life everyone wants. As we say in the south, them was fightin' words.</p>