how much are we pushing ourselves?

<p>So I have a friend. And I truly care about her, and am amazed at her.</p>

<p>She's crazy about school. She does so many things, like a lot of you do, but she's seriously just insane. She's pushing herself so hard, and it just gets me worried. She's always been a bit on the downside health wise as it is, and I just feel like doing all of this school work is just making it worse. Yet she's so ambitious, I don't know how to tell her to take it easy sometimes.</p>

<p>She took AP US History last year as a sophomore, and for the first time, she got a B in one of the trimesters. She nearly fainted. She cried. Horrendously. I tried comforting her and trying to make her understand a B is fine, but I couldn't convince her. And she still hasn't even opened her AP score up yet from the US History test. Nor has she opened up her ACT score or SAT/SAT Subjects score this year, or so I'm told. It's truly just driving me insane.</p>

<p>How can you be so ambitious to do well in school, learn, and attend a highly selective college, yet you can't even open or easily tell someone a score of a standardized test? I understand about privacy, but honestly, we won't care if you get a 2 or 3 or 4 or 5 on the AP exam. She's told grades about tests in class and grades at the end of the year or GPA, yet she can't tell a simple number? It's ridiculous, and I really find it absurd.</p>

<p>How can you go through high school with this kind of craziness and stress and ridiculousness, and expect to make it to college? </p>

<p>Sorry. I don't really know what my question was. I guess it's just a bit of a statement.</p>

<p>It's her right not to tell you, chill. And eventually (hopefully) she'll figure out that she's gone insane own her own and calm down a bit before high school's over.</p>

<p>Sounds like your friend isn't trying hard enough. A B in AP US... shame; that's what happens when you go see a movie instead of memorizing the textbook. </p>

<p>LOL. Realistically, some people are just concentrated on schoolwork that way. Nothing wrong with working hard and stressing over grades. Obviously, not opening scores is a little odd, but whatever works to help cope. I didn't like sharing my bad grades with my friends either at first; it made me think I was inferior to them and I wasn't living up to my image of being smart (something I was rather proud of). Then all my friends started failing (or doing as poorly as I was), so I didn't really care. But again, there's wrong with not wanting to share grades. Maybe you just aren't that close a friend...</p>

<p>-The Close Coot66</p>

<p>I personally think you should tell her that you're concerned and that she's going to far. At the end of the day it's up to her to change, but you should be there for her and comfort her is she feels down. Or if it's really getting out of hand maybe you should refer her to counseling. Don't just sit around while she drives herself insane like others are suggesting. Help her as much as you can.</p>

<p>Lol, after AP exams are over you should take her to do her favorite hobby. Something she can't resist. Even a weekend off makes you feel better =].</p>

<p>Amazing what a little pressure does to some people.</p>

<p>Eh, once summer comes she'll calm down.</p>

<p>
[quote]
And she still hasn't even opened her AP score up yet from the US History test. Nor has she opened up her ACT score or SAT/SAT Subjects score this year, or so I'm told. It's truly just driving me insane.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Does this mean she hasn't told you yet, or that she doesn't even know her own scores?</p>

<p>I think what you should do is get her parents, maybe you and a couple of other friends, and talk to her about this, and let her know that even if her SAT or AP scores aren't that great, it's still OK. And that nothing bad will happen, and she'll have more chances to retake the SAT, and get better scores. And then maybe if she's calm enough, open the scores with her.</p>

<p>If that doesn't work, then she might need to get professional help.</p>

<p>Jesus Christ, enough with the professional help crap. Your friend is, for lack of better words, scared of failure and she needs to get the hell over it. There's people with so much bigger problems, and she just needs to grow up.</p>

<p>Um, your friend probably DID open and doesn't want to tell you. Why do I know this? It sounds like something I would do (I still haven't opened up my report cards, guys, I don't know...) because it's a lose-lose situation to share grades, even with best friends, because:
a) she got a great score, and the person doesn't want to brag
b) she got a horrific score, and the person doesn't want everyone to know. </p>

<p>I know, I know, you would accept her either way. But just try to think from her perspective.</p>

<p>Another option is that her parents have put her under a lot of pressure. I go to a really expensive prep (think total tuition over 4 years around 40,000) and her parents basically told her: get into college on a full scholarship or else you'll be out on your own working at Kohl's/McD's. The difference between an honors class might not sound like a lot/big deal, but it could be her whole life. STudying for the SAT could be her whole life.</p>

<p>Her parents are so not like the parents who constantly pressure you though. I'm a close friend of hers and I talk to her parents a lot when I come to her house, and they're incredibly welcoming and sincere. They aren't the type of parents to grind down hours of homework and say you have to get a full scholarship or else you're a failure.</p>

<p>It's not even about feeling like a failure compared to other people even. She knows I'm not as naturally intelligent as her, and I know it, so I just don't understand. She KNOWS I wouldn't care if she got a better score than me or if I got a better score than her. She KNOWS that she is one of the most intelligent people in her class. Yeah, she has a right to not tell me, and I respect it, but really, it's kind of ridiculous. She says she hasn't opened it, and I don't think she has. It's nearly been a year since the test. It's as of she's setting herself up for failure by hyping up a mere test. Honestly. She has kakorrhaphiophobia, a phobia of failure (don't ask me how I know that), and I try and ALL of us try, including her friends and family, to allow her to understand that a B isn't a failure. But she just doesn't get it. When she got a B, my teacher had to call her parents beforehand to let them know she would be a little crazy when she got home.</p>

<p>She's so consumed in school and activities, I just don't get it sometimes. Kudos to her, but really, do you have to do all this stuff, complain about it too, and then not face up to it when you do something like get a B? Or not make president of a club?</p>

<p>This thread is really just a complaint thread. Sorry.</p>

<p>Just like I said, she's scared of failure.</p>