<p>My D will be a high school freshman in the fall. She's always been a good student and I've told her that the better her grades, the more choices she will have when it comes time to choosing colleges. But when she starts high school, how much (if at all) do I remind her of that? I want her to work hard, but I don't want her to give up if/when she gets a B on something, feeling as if "Well, it's all over now." How did you find a comfortable middle ground?</p>
<p>My question to my kids was always the same (elementary school, middle school, high school, college). “Does this represent your best effort?” If yes…then the grade was fine. If no, then they had to think about how to make it better. We didn’t focus on the grades…we focused on whether our kids had done the best they could do. Sometimes that wasn’t an A.</p>
<p>Thank you. I have always focused on effort, and I do think that is the most important thing. I will try and keep that in mind during the next four years!</p>
<p>I never “connected” my HS freshman kids’ outcomes to college, it just wasn’t a concept they understood. By mid-late Sophomore year they were able to hear that message and grasp the connection. You are far better off helping your freshman adjust to high school, ingrain good study habits, plan an appropriate course schedule and those sorts of things.</p>
<p>Both my kids’ grades dropped in their first semester of high school, as they adjusted to the higher workload and expectations. They normally get mostly As, but that semester they got mostly Bs. I could see they were trying their best to cope, and parental piling on certainly wasn’t going to help matters. Their grades started to come up in the second semester, and got back to normal sophomore year.</p>
<p>The biggest change from middle to high school is the level of activity that occurs after the school bell rings at the end of the day. In high school, kids have more ECs that go into the afternoon and night and more homework that needs to be done. Homework will need to be done on the weekends to help relieve pressure on the next week’s schedule.</p>
<p>The best thing that you can do for your high school freshman is to help them learn time management skills. When my kids were fall sophomores, they looked back on their fall freshman experience and couldn’t believe how stressed out they were. The kids catch on quick on how to manage their time.</p>
<p>I second the comments above about time management. I’ll add that it’s good to meet and keep in touch with your child’s high school teachers (if the school doesn’t have an open house, introduce yourself via email) and that if your school puts class information online, check it. I used our school’s system to make sure that assignments were being done and to watch for very low scores on homework before the quarter and semester grades came out.</p>
<p>OP, I’ll give you the secret sauce (no charge):</p>
<ol>
<li> Show this thread to your child, so that it is a true team effort.</li>
<li> In every class, stay one chapter ahead in the books.</li>
<li> Understand for yourself, and then teach your child, how to take “Cornell Notes”.</li>
<li> Do all assignments when given, not when due.</li>
</ol>
<p>If you do these things, attending class, is just “review” for your child. The content, and maybe more importantly the “context”, is already known and will become the opportunity for your child to be very active in the class: asking “good questions” and answering the difficult questions in support of the class; this creates automatic academic leadership. Learning academic time management skills must be taught at home because it will not taught in school.</p>
<p>If you do the above as a team, your child will have all the time in the world for all the ECs that interest him/her, friends, chores, and even some non-academic family time (LOL).</p>
<p>No need to “push” at all, ever. It is time to teach and to lead.</p>
<p>Good luck!</p>
<p>I agree that you should focus on process (“are you doing your best work?”) rather than outcome (“oh no!, an 89!”).</p>
<p>Some kids catch on quickly about managing their time. Others need a little more guidance on balancing academics, EC, and social life. </p>
<p>In particular, watch out for online distractions. It’s amazing how a quick pop onto Facebook to ask a friend a question about a HW problem can turn into a lost hour.</p>
<p>Also, come join the rest of us on the thread for <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1086324-parents-hs-class-2015-college-class-2019-a.html#post12255452[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1086324-parents-hs-class-2015-college-class-2019-a.html#post12255452</a></p>
<p>I think you need to be indirect in the approach toward the high school student. Ask first some questions:</p>
<ol>
<li>What’s the student area of interests?</li>
<li>What’s the student colleges of interests?</li>
</ol>
<p>Sit with the student in front of the naviance or any other means by which you can provide student with an average GPA and SAT score of students from the high school matriculating at those colleges.</p>
<p>I think the attitude should be towards maintaing a GPA above that point. Individual grades might not break the case unless it’s in a subject related to intended major.</p>