<p>My parents’ involvement was also minimal. They valued education, but had little experience to offer. My mom was not allowed by her parents to go to college. My dad was the first to go in his family and he went to a commuter school. I used a five year old Barron’s (bought for my oldest sister) to choose my schools. The only visit I made was to take an exam for a merit scholarship at Case Western, but it certainly was not what we consider a college visit here. That drive across Ohio is the only thing I can remember that my parents did in the process. I remember it being a big stink to get my dad to fill out the FA forms because he thought it was an invasion of privacy for them to ask about his finances. They had promised to pay the full cost wherever I got in, so they thought this was unnecessary (but it was necessary even for merit scholarships). I went to a HS that sent maybe half their graduates on to college, but almost all of them ended up at one of the state universities or the local community college. We didn’t know or care what schools were in the ivy league even when I got mail from them (and there was no way I was ever going to consider Cornell because they misspelled my name). It was certainly a simpler time and process.</p>
<p>I knew I wanted to go to UT-Austin, although my friends encouraged me to aim higher. But UT had (and has!) one of the highest-ranked civil engineering schools in the country, so it didn’t make sense to me to apply anywhere else. I filled out the application, they confirmed that I had a scholarship for tuition the first year since I was valedictorian, and that was that. My parents paid for everything by selling a lot we owned. Tuition was $4 a credit hour. My bill from school each semester, including fees, after my freshman year was around $250.</p>
<p>My younger sister wanted to go to any school but UT. My dad said fine, but asked that she research where she wanted to go. I remember driving to a few schools with her. After she saw them, she decided that UT wasn’t so bad after all.</p>
<p>Life was simpler then!</p>
<p>I was in boarding school, my parents were in Africa. My Mom took me to see a few colleges my junior year before they left - as I recall I saw Barnard, Tufts and Harvard with her. My Dad certainly expected me to apply to Harvard (he went there), but otherwise I don’t think I got any opinions from them. I didn’t apply to Yale because I couldn’t reuse my Harvard essay. It was stupid of me, since actually they had a better major for me than Harvard did.</p>
<p>Minimal help. The first conversation went as follows. (Spring of '81; my parents were divorced and we kids lived with Dad.) </p>
<p>Me: Dad, can I have a check for this SAT registration?
Dad: SAT?! Why are you taking the SAT?
Me: I’ll need a score for my college applications next year.
Dad: College?! Why do you want to go to college?
Me: Umm. To get a good job???
Dad: (mumbles something) Well, OK. I guess as good a place any to find a husband. </p>
<p>:rolleyes:</p>
<p>Back in the mid-70s, I was set to go to Carleton, sight unseen. Found it on my own with minimal help from parents. Then I went to a senior day with HS friends at a school 40 miles away and came back to tell my parents I had changed my mind and would now go to a different LAC because of the new science building. I applied and I was in. I brought home the paper work for FAA only to hear that my parents had enough money to pay for all 4 years. Of course, it cost $4K per year then, and my dad was a physician. I had no idea they had money.</p>
<p>I guess they did the financial aid forms because I don’t remember doing it. My mom took me to visit one college–the LAC I ended up attending. That was the extent of parental involvement.</p>
<p>I was advised by the adults in my life that college was a waste of time…get a good union job. This was the late 70s. Glad I didn’t listen.</p>
<p>I was the 3rd sister of three. My parents were pretty burned out but had a rule you couldnt apply to the same school as a sibling or maybe that my sisters demand to them because I just remember liking her school and not being “allowed” to. I too was a boarding school kid so the actual applications were done under the school. We had advisory where you basically checked off your progress like homework. List of schools, etc. the only thing I did was sign a form my dad handed me that gave me 2500 a year student loan, which I paid off myself. He had 3 in private college for two Years and paid tuition for 15 years straight if you count younger brother. But tuition was about 7500 a year for the schools we looked out. Talk about it being a simpler time!!</p>
<p>Zero, nothing. Well, they did give me a check paying me back for the first quarter of community college, as a high school graduation gift. They were quite surprised when the next year I magically ended up with a full ROTC scholarship (gee, how did that happen). But that was a different generation, college was cheaper and easier to get into, most parents were far less involved. Expectations were set, I suppose, so they probably figured that took care of the parental involvement part. You go to community college as long as possible, and then to the local university. Thank God I was used to taking care of things myself, and I still never expect anyone to take care of me.</p>
<p>Of course, now I attempt to micromanage as many of the details for my kids as they will allow. Nothing but the best for my guys.</p>
<p>Dougbetsy, that conversation with your dad was just a classic. I’ll bet that is burned into your memory. I’m sure our parents would like to forget some of the cringe worthy things they said to us. I will never forget when I told my dad I wanted to go into the Air Force to be a pilot, and he told me that I wasn’t coordinated enough (never was very handy catching a ball).</p>
<p>I pray that some of the ridiculous things I have said to my children have long been forgotten…</p>
<p>I went through the application cycle in early seventies. My parents were fairly involved. They took me to visit colleges and I remember clearly driving to Madison as my mom had gone there (it was too big) and read my essay. Both parents and grandparents were college educated. They rejected one school because they felt it was too far away and too expensive but were solidly behind the college I ultimately attended although they argued about me turning down University of Michigan Res college for awhile. I applied to 4 colleges. There wasn’t any finaid so they weren’t involved in that type of thing. They paid the bills and gave me $50 a month to cover the phone and walking around money. They dropped me off and picked me up and did alot of supporting and helping when I did an internship on the east coast and a junior year foreign study.</p>
<p>On one hand, my folks did absolutely nothing - no idea what my apps looked like, no research, no college tours. They didn’t want me to go away to school - none of my sibs did but we lived in NYC and the pickings were great! Columbia, NYU, Fordham, City University before open admissions. (Strange because both mom and dad went away to college.)
On the other hand, they paid full-fare minus a few scholarships for my undergrad education. (My employer picked picked up 100% of grad school at Columbia. Mom and Dad certainly knew nothing about my plans for grad school.</p>
<p>Oh one other thing…the very first time I saw the college was on move in day…no visits before that day.</p>
<p>Not that this is true for everyone, BUT!</p>
<p>It’s probably a little like the science fair project. Once upon a time, some kids, being completely age appropriate, were putting out some good stuff. Then some parent got involved and that kid’s project was stellar. Then, more parents help out and the caliber of projects goes way up across the board, and of course, parents are suddenly chalk full of knowledgeable about the effects of oil spills etc. Next thing you know there’s an uptick in independent science competitions that no kid could ever do that without their parents contributions, even if it’s just to get there! The ante is constantly being raised insisting that parents involve themselves. Kids don’t just make this stuff up on their own. Not saying that parents do all the work for these kids at all, just pointing out that one of the reasons we now “help” more than our parents did is because somewhere along the line overachieving parents started overly helping in the first place (and probably as a way to make up for their regrets or missed opportunities). Just saying… </p>
<p>My brother told me about a Wharton grad his company was just about to hire. That is until his mother got involved in his contract negotiations because she was more knowledgeable about contracts. Why would that mother ever think that her involvement would be seen as a good thing? Probably it was because her involvement for the previous 24 years had paid off so well!</p>
<p>Although my parents had both attended the UW, I wasn’t on track to attend. ( hadn’t taken the required language, in fact I didn’t even know about that requirement.)</p>
<p>They also both suffered from mental illness & my father died from depression on fathers day my jr year.</p>
<p>EK-- so sad. So sorry. How young you were.</p>
<p>Modadunn-- Right? also, the good old fashioned pick up game in the park, all of that has gone the way of the EC’s within biking distance. :(</p>
<p>My father was a dyslexic, and back then, they just told dyslexic’s they were stupid. (Unlike now, when they told my D she was brilliant)… hyperbole in both cases, I think.</p>
<p>So, he’d dropped out of high school. Also, not being stupid, he was very, very succesful. His opinion on my going to college was, “I don’t know why you want to waste your time with that, but it’s on your dime.”</p>
<p>Of course, compared to now, a dime actually paid for it, and I graduated without debt. Nobody was prouder than Dad, by the end. He still sends them money and wears their sweatshirt. Go figure.</p>
<p>I came from a low income single parent household. There was no such thing as a college fund. I applied (no help/advice)to one college, a state u. an hour away from my hometown. After acceptance my Mom filled out the FA forms and we made a trip to the univ. FA office to plead our case for more grant money…anyone remember the BEOG?
After the meeting we went home. Never really saw the campus until I drove myself to orientation a few weeks before the fall sem. started.</p>
<p>Not only did my parents NOT help me with my college search process, they actually asked me “Who do you think you are?” when I told them I wanted to go to college. Getting them to provide the essential information required to fill out the FAF was like pulling teeth… “I’m not giving them my personal information.”</p>
<p>Thankfully, it all worked out, and I was able to attend a fantastic university with (nearly full) financial aid. As you can imagine, my son’s college application process has been a lot easier. :)</p>
<p>Edited to Add: My parents never visited campus (in our home city) until the day of my graduation.</p>
<p>Nada. Neither of my parents went to college, and I was engaged to be married out of high school. When that didn’t work as planned, I went off to state flagship U to lick wounds and room with a friend. Had no idea what I’d find in college. Had enough money for one semester, but new boyfriend found a scholarship for me to apply for. It paid the rest of my time there. Parents showed up for graduation, proud, but completely uninvolved.</p>
<p>My Dad took me to visit various colleges near and far - fun road trips. The one I ended up at I visited alone, 6 hours by bus. (Actually, it’s 6 hours by car. 10 hours by bus). My mom handled all the FAFSA details.</p>
<p>I don’t remember much discussion about fit and such. But I was not a tippy-top stats kid. I applied only to schools where I expected acceptance in order to ensure scholarships. We had no clue that we’d qualify for gobs of FA anywhere due to my mom’s low salary - my parents were separated, and I lived with her.</p>