<p>Hi--I'm new to CC and have a question about the different degrees of freedom at various BS. My D is applying in the fall for the 9th grade and while we're not incredibly sheltering parents, some of the lack of oversight at the bigger preps is somewhat concerning. I just spoke to a neighbor's daughter who goes to Exeter who said that students can be within a 15-mile radius of the school without signing out. That as long as you check in at 11:00 pm, you're free to go wherever without anyone at school knowing your whereabouts. While that doesn't worry me for an 18-year-old, it does for 14. Alternately, Groton seems very protective. I'd be interested to hear opinions about a happy medium and from current students/parents who are happy with their school's approach to freedom/oversight.
Thanks</p>
<p>nice question. i’d like to hear the answers myself as I will be a student at a prep school next year.</p>
<p>Freedoms vary by school, but I think all of them will allow the students to go off campus in the surrounding area. If this concerns you, make sure you like the surrounding area, or pick a school in a remote area like Hotchkiss or Groton. </p>
<p>Blair is the only school I know. Every year I sign a form allowing my son to go or not go in a car with Blair parents, Blair students and one other option which I forget. If I check yes, he can do these things without my permission. Otherwise, permission has to be arranged. The students are allowed to walk around the surrounding area which includes some shops and restaurants, but it is rural so I don’t worry. BTW, in general boarders are not allowed to keep cars on campus.</p>
<p>Freedom varies by age at many schools. Younger kids have study hours, have to be in their rooms at a certain time, etc. Seniors generally have more freedom than freshman, so check how the rules progress.</p>
<p>I liked the freedom. Towards the end of the year, especially senior year, kids tend to get cabin fever. It was nice to be able to sit in Starbucks in the middle of the day to get off campus and relax. We are monitored all the time, and the moments you aren’t are a welcome break.</p>
<p>Parents at Andover have the same forms to fill out about car permission. They can also give permission to house counselors to allow kids to go out of town bounds or they can say that the parent must be called first. If permission is given, the kids must ask the house counselor if they can go and then sign out when they leave and when they get back. I’ve found most schools are pretty similar in these regards.</p>
<p>Wow, everything sounds pretty regulated. I’m guessing there’s not much ‘maturing and burning’ - or learning through experience.</p>
<p>I’m pretty sure this car rule thing, only gets followed for over night stays. There are no faculty around the dorm during the day, so if one of your friends parents are in town, and they invite you out to dinner, nobody follows this I have to go ask my advisor rule. </p>
<p>Its really only followed for over night visits. When you do need permission from parents.</p>
<p>And to parents with concerns, about freedom. You are giving your child enough freedom to live on their own, are you really considering whether you will let him go to town by themselves? You guys have to be real, the school is not going to have faculty hold their hand when they cross the street in town. These are mature grown up kids. And none of these schools are built around the slums of anywhere. just instill on your kids good habits. Always go with a friend. Never stay past dark. Regular rules you would follow at home.</p>
<p>Uh, at my D’s school, you cannot get in any non-staff driven car (day student, parent of another student, etc.) without a written note or email from your parents on file, spelling out the specific conditions. It is a MAJOR liability issue for the school if you are injured in an auto accident in someone else’s car while under their supervision. It will get you in some big trouble at her school, if caught. And with most rule violations, tongues wag and eventually someone gets busted.</p>
<p>That being said, most small town schools will allow you to walk/bicycle within a certain range of school (usually defined by certain landmarks) without getting permission during any free time. This accommodates most students needs to eat out, do some shopping, etc.</p>
<p>I was fine with my school’s approach - as long as you had the right permissions and signed out correctly, you could go where you wanted how you wanted. Before school started parents filled out a form about what their child could/could not do (driving with someone under 18, driving with an adult, riding a motorcycle, walking into town, taking the school shuttle, etc.). Then when you wanted to go someplace (as long as it was before you had to be back) everybody had a card where you filled out where you were going/how you were getting there/when you were leaving/when you were getting back and you took it to the administrator on duty who took the card and then you could leave and when you got back you had to find/call the aod again and put your card back in the in box. I thought this worked fine and made sense…you could go where you wanted with permission from your parents and you signed out so the school knew where you were, basically what would happen if I was at home except I wouldn’t be filling out a card, just asking my parents if I could go someplace.</p>
<p>At my son’s school, going in a car with a day student if you are a boarder is dismissable. </p>
<p>My son has friends that are attending a school about 8 miles from his and they are figuring out if they can bike half way to meet for pizza or something. One current parent at the other school said they thought the kids were not allowed that far off campus unsupervised. So I think it varies from school to school. It is likely explained in the student and/or parent/family handbook and many of them are online. We found those to be very helpful when we were doing the searches for schools. They were a wealth of information about rules and structure and other pieces of information that were important to us, but not always covered in the view books and tours.</p>
<p>Be careful here- There is the STATED standard of care and there is the actual practice of the school. S attended a boarding school for 9th and part of 10th grade several years back that was negligent, in my opinion. Kids were running all over (liberal central Texas city), bringing alcohol back to campus from day students’ houses, having big parties at the homes of kids who lived close to campus…There was almost no supervision. When enough parents got wind of what was going on and raised concerns, the ax fell on a few.<br>
So- check with some current parents and students to find out what REALLY goes on.</p>
<p>Honestly, Exeter isn’t a town you should have any worries about. Its New Hampshire, there’s no crime here. haha</p>
<p>Ok..these responses sound reasonable. I was a day student at a BS and know how much trouble I got into…I want to make sure that my D doesn’t have quite the ease to make the same mistakes!! Not that I don’t trust her!
Linda S–Thanks for the suggestion about student/parent handbooks.</p>