<p>Hello everyone. This is my first post, and I'm very happy to find such a helpful forum.</p>
<p>I'm worrying about college for our three D's a little early -- oldest D is 12 and in 7th grade gifted classes. She is part of Duke TIP and just took the ACT (26 composite, 27 English, 24 Math, 23 Science, 30 Reading). She's got a 4.0 in her classes and is very passionate about dance and writing poetry. She won 3rd place for her grade in a statewide writing contest, and plans to submit more poetry and short stories to teen magazines.</p>
<p>I'm very proud of her, but am also worried about her chances to get into a good college in the future. After reading some of the posts about what's required to get in to a good college, I'm worried that what we're doing isn't enough. My first inclination is to push her hard -- more studying, more accellerated programs, more ECs, more contests, etc. My DH thinks I should back off and not push her too hard, or she may burn out and lose interest in everything. </p>
<p>I want what's best for her and her twin sisters, but I don't want to put more pressure on her than she can handle at this young age.</p>
<p>She's only in 7th grade and is doing very well so I see no need to push. However, starting around now there'll be some choices as to courses to take in math, sometimes English and some other courses. As long as she can handle it and do well, and it appears she can since she's doing well in the gifted program, you should make sure she's enrolled in the more academically challenging courses. Around HS there'll usually be far more choices and she should strive for the higher level courses (AP, honors, etc.). If she can do well in these AP courses she can end up with a high weighted GPA and a high class rank and be more attractive to a number of colleges. </p>
<p>I think you should also encourage her to be involved in some sport/dance in HS if she's interested if for no other reason than the physical benefits. It looks like your D is already interested in dance so this won't be a problem as long as her HS offers programs she can take advantage of.</p>
<p>It's also helpful to be involved in meaningful community service efforts from HS onwards. There are many ways to achieve this.</p>
<p>On top of all this her life needs to be balanced and she needs to enjoy her life while also doing well in academics and other areas. When striving for the top it's important to keep this life balance in mind. </p>
<p>In short, relax, she's already on the correct track - just keep her on it. One of the best things you can do is to do some detective work to find out what's offered at the HS she'll head to and make sure it compares well with other area HS offerings. You may need to get involved with HS counselors a few times to convince them your D can handle the accelerated course load so don't hesitate to push them if necessary. Of course, don't do it if you see your kid struggling. If she ends up a large public HS, don't assume the counselors have any idea who she is even if she's one of the top students since they have a very high student to counselor ratio and tend to spend their time in the problem areas.</p>
<p>I am not a parent, and I don't have specific advice for you either, but I just want to say that the fact that your daughter got a 26 composite on the ACT as a 12 year old (!!!) is unbelievably impressive, and I do not think you need to worry about her ability to make it into a top school with that much talent (at this point). Her passion for writing and dance just further shows that she has a good, balanced head on her shoulders.</p>
<p>I think just that you questioned how much you should push her shows that you know what you are doing. Encourage her to do her best, but let her be a kid. That is my advice as a kid and student. My mom always said, as long as I brought home my best grades, it was good enough for her, and I never felt pressured, but rather encouraged.</p>
<p>Welcome to the forum!! I hope the CC community can help you in the coming years.</p>
<p>No pushing needed. It sounds like she pushes herself plenty. You will do her a favor if you do not increase her stress and create new worries.</p>
<p>Encourage her to continue to take the rigorous courses for which she is suited. Make sure there is time in her life for friends and activities she enjoys. Talk to other parents who already have academically talented students in your high school to get the lay of the land. Learn how to help her negotiate the system there.</p>
<p>I agree with everyone else and would like to add this: Take what you see on College Confidential with a grain of salt. Some (not many, not most, not all, just SOME) of the posts on here are neurotic exaggerations from kids and parents who are obsessed with rankings, elitism, and perfection. Figure out to spot them, read them, and you'll be well on your way to learning what NOT to do.</p>
<p>I would say...relax. These kiddos are 12 years old. They have at least a few years before they seriously will be thinking about colleges. In those years, you may find that THEIR interests and passions change and evolve. That is the way it should be. I would suggest you be supportive. How much should you push? I would say...don't push at all. Provide the opportunities but if you are doing all the pushing it may be because those are things important to you but not your kiddos.</p>
<p>The interests and passions kids have should be allowed to develop from within the KIDS....not because of pushing and prodding from others. It will happen. You may find that their interests and what YOU think their interests should be don't always agree, but hey...that is what being teenagers is all about. </p>
<p>We looked for interesting opportunities and discussed them with our kids. It was very easy to see which ones they loved...because THEY were the ones doing the pushing.</p>
<p>I agree no need to push. My kid pulled me. Listen to them - if they tell you they are bored in school - push the school system. For my older son that meant getting more than the standard smart kid acceleration in math. For my younger son that meant getting a better violin teacher. It really varies. But it sounds like your kids are already on the right track.</p>
<p>Absolutely agree with previous answers. One worry though: how/why did you find this site when your D is only 12? This site provokes anxiety in those of us with high school juniors/seniors. I can't image the head trips it induces for the mother of a seventh grader. </p>
<p>My two cents is be her supporter without keeping the "what if" of college as the first consideration. She wants to quit soccer in 8th grade? No problem--don't push her and tell her that colleges look for ECs.</p>
<p>The only tiny bit of forward looking advice is math placement. Now is when you put her on the track to have the OPTION of taking calculus in high school. She might choose not to take it but you don't want the option to be taken away b/c she was on the wrong math track.</p>
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My DH thinks I should back off and not push her too hard, or she may burn out and lose interest in everything.
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<p>I agree with your DH. Support your D by pointing out items of interest, borrowing books from the library, and so on, but do not push her into taking harder classes. Let her take the lead.
I also agree with posters who suggest that she should cultivate some ECs. Her writing is a very good one, but she may want to take up some sport, club activity, community service. Offer options, but, again, let her take the lead.</p>
<p>I'm going to be a little stronger in telling you to back off. It's fine to encourage your daughter and provide opportunities to try different things and explore her interests, but do NOT focus on the "C" work (college) now. This can really backfire. These kids have SO much academic pressure and junior high is not the time to be thinking about college. So much can change. My own daughter- who is very level-headed- decided at age 17 that she wanted to focus on her classical singing and went off to an arts boarding academy. We did NOT see that coming in junior high, I assure you. I won't even go into the many changes our son went through since middle school. Just enjoy your daughter and be patient. In two years she might be Goth and never go to class! :)</p>
<p>I worried for a little while about geek_son's emphasis on a passion of his (performing arts) that had little to do with the academic subjects he was interested in (math/science). He wasn't much into the usual ECs that draw math/science students (robotics club, science club, math competitions). As it turned out, that was one of the things that made him stand out. His devotion to those EC interests rounded out his application, gave him leadership opportunities, and made him more of a person to the admissions folks he interfaced with. He's headed for his first-choice college with a merit scholarship.</p>
<p>I'm a firm believer in the notion that kids contain their own blueprints for their futures and their hearts will lead them where they belong. Let your children become who they were meant to be, and they'll find the right college and career.</p>
<p>So at this stage, just seek out fun, interesting opportunities that match your kiddos' interests. Put those opportunities in front of your kids, but let them decide what to jump into. Keep learning fun for them, and encourage them to work hard and play hard and do their best. They'll turn out just fine.</p>
<p>As to standardized tests... unless a kid needs test scores to qualify for an exciting summer program or a fascinating community college course, there's plenty of time for those when your kids are in high school... just be sure to spread them out over the first three years. And as to grades... be a positive presence at their school. Volunteer when you can, and get to know their teachers in a spirit of three-way partnership. That will show the kids you care about their education and it will help smooth the way for any necessary communications.</p>
<p>Oh, and one more thing... As I sit here in the living room with geek_son, I'm keenly aware that he'll be living hours away in just half a year. The first half of his senior year flew by like nothing. Enjoy your kids while they're kids; this time is so fleeting.</p>
<p>My younger one watched her older sister's painful college process. Last year in eighth grade she was coasting getting mostly As but with a few A-. I asked her what's up with that. She said to me, "Not to worry, I am just getting rested up for high school."</p>
<p>why dont you just let them grow up and choose for themselves. They will be either fail in life or be succesful whether you push them or not. Its all up to them. Push them to hard they will grow up and possibly have some problems. don't push them at all the same is possible. Just let them grow up and have fun and don't push.</p>
<p>Welcome to CC. You will find that you have come to the right place for these type of questions. Listen to all of the fine advise given by knowledgeable parents above. So now what you need to do is RELAX. Your D will do great when the time comes 5 YEARS FROM NOW to apply to colleges. There is no reason to push a gifted child, speaking from personal experience. They push themselves in their never ending desire to learn. They are best served with plenty of support, guidance, and wisdom.</p>
<p>I kinda freaked at one point because DS was not doing the things that a few of the schools indicated they wanted -- but he was having such fun! He went on to get some awards in HIS chosen activities and now is in a college that he loves.<br>
I'd encourage DS to follow her passions. It doesn't matter if she loves chicken farming and all the how-to-get-into Ivy League books are telling you she should be in student government (or whatever). Encourage her. Send her to chicken farming camp. Buy chicken farming books. Go to chicken farming fair. She will love that you love her for herself and there will be a college that thinks she is tremendous.</p>
<p>Don't worry so much about her future and let her enjoy her present. She's smart and will not have a problem gaining admission into a good college. For now, let her enjoy being a kid. Allow her the gift of childhood. Continue with parental guidance but try hard not to give her the impression that anything less than perfection is unacceptable. </p>
<p>The fact that you're even asking this question tells me that you're a great parent.</p>
<p>I'm with your husband. For our kids we gave three pieces of advice that indirectly were pointed at college. 1) When you do something do it well. 2) Keep your options open so please take a full range of college prep courses and at the highest level you can do well (get a B) (this was not discussed so college centric but about keeping options open and broadening horizons. 3) Keep busy outside of school work ... we don't care what it is ... but find something you're drawn to ... sports, music, work, volunteering, etc ... don't care just don;t be a slug. It's worked well so far ... hopefully all 3 kids will turn out to be solid adults and do fine with college and careers.</p>