<p>Corneliasusie,
My experience with Math 54 was I took it my first semester as a transfer student and ended up with a D. I retook it in summer and got an A. The summer sessions are taught by GSIs. The key is being lucky to get a good one.</p>
<p>Good luck to your son.</p>
<p>As someone who knows the town and the university very well, I must say the original post is one of the saddest I have seen.
It is a cry for help, the way I read it. Quite a bit of magical thinking right there from the start- “the rain seems to follow” Berkeley Survivor, girlfriend (who is blamed for neediness and more) leaves him, no cute girls in Berkeley, professors who are gosh-darn vindictively sadistic (that’s the way I read it) and food vendors who have it in for poor BerkeleySurvivor. Oh, the halcyon Days of SoCal and his happy childhood…</p>
<p>I am not being facetious here- we hear too many stories of young men who “lost it” mentally and took it out on others or, more often, themselves. I was very moved by the post, and I really truly hope you get some help from a good mental health professional. I hope your family offers the right kind of support. How you view this dorm or that one, this course or the other, this fast food court and that one- these are choices you have made and although you find it hard to see right now, they are far from reality.
The constant mention of John Nash in his room in the fetal position is the clearest indication of where you actually saw and diagnosed your condition, even as you didn’t connect all the dots and opted to sling the arrow in a different direction.</p>
<p>I love that you called yourself in your handle “survivor.” Now go show that you really are. Please get some help.</p>
<p>First, I am astounded at the lack of sincerity in some of these replies and the raw hate this breeds. Many don’t even care for your health, which is frankly aggravating. I read all of it. Digested it. It interests me and Im glad you told your story. I am a senior who is deciding whether to go to Cal or not. After the story, I considered that you may be a Stanford student just hating on Cal, but that idea was tossed away. I believe you wholeheartedly and truly wish you best. Your ECT step is drastic, so I only wish you to have a happy life after. Your description of Cal is informative and has braced me for my “dream school.” I’ll be visiting the campus for an overnight stay but I’ll be on my guard. Once again, best of luck man. I am curious as to see how you fare after ECT or how you’re doing so I wouldn’t mind a PM for those links and whatnot. Just ignore all the guys who disregard your story.</p>
<p>On further reading (should have done that before replying to first post. I Apologize) I see that you did seek help, and you do understand your diagnosis even if you continue to dart UCB.
Berkeley caused none of this. It can be a high pressure school (especially in the discipline you chose) but it isn’t necessarily so. Mental illness is a real chemical imbalance that does in fact run in families. There is much we don’t understand, but I do sense (despite extreme over-verbosity) an intelligent person and one who desperately want to connect and help others.
Make your priority to help yourself, BerkeleySurvivor. Understand first how unreliable your perceptions are. Sadly, despite the treatment (unsuccessful so far) the illness continues. Put this tremendous energy you have exhibited here to looking for a solution to what befell you. remember that any “answer” that smacks of blaming a “boogey-this or that” is a false one.
Good luck and best wishes.</p>
<p>I read that entire post even though I have absolutely no interest in Berkeley. OP, I feel for you. What you’ve been through really sucks, and I hope you can continue to rebuild your life.</p>
<p>BerkeleySurvivor, I wish you only the best and trust you are on a path to a happier life.</p>
<p>As a mom, my mantra this week has been to go to the school where you feel you have the best fit. Similar to you, D1 was deeply unhappy at her first college and ended up having to take a medical leave before she transferred to another campus where she is happy and healthy again. (I say this lightheartedly, but we’re talking multiple ER visits, endless texting and hours of sobbing over the phone, constant self-doubt, physical pain, etc.)</p>
<p>D2 is stressing about selecting a school, Cal among them, and I’m hoping that reading both good/bad reviews and visiting the campuses will provide her enough data points to make this decision. Everyone at her HS is telling her she’d be stupid not to attend Cal. Frankly, I think her gut is telling her it’s not the right fit (she finds Berkeley pretty gritty, she considers herself liberal but not uber-political, and she’s turned off by some of the arrogant ‘my stats are better than yours’/‘we’re the best’ attitude). All that said, she’s honored to have been accepted and will give it a really good look before she decides.</p>
<p>Thank you for sharing your story. People clearly will choose which lessons to take from it, but I appreciate the courage it took for you to lay yourself so bare. Be well.</p>
<p>I have read every word of this thread. </p>
<p>I wish Survivor the best recovery possible. Get the best help you can; then live the best life you can. </p>
<p>But I would like to pursue the OP’s original intent, which was to voice an admonition, an warning I endorse.</p>
<p>Selecting a college based upon brand or prestige works for a certain gifted minority of admits; the rest of the admit pool should go elsewhere — but the situation varies among the two types of ‘top’ schools.</p>
<p>Type I — the top privates. The grading is highly inflated (at virtually all but Princeton) for two reasons. First, many parents won’t continue to pay inflated tuition if their students don’t get a GPA greater than 3.5 . Second, these colleges feel they admit a monolithically high-performing freshman class and that weeder courses are not needed. These colleges are literally under the assumption that all of their graduates will go on to amazing success. The result is that students work moderately hard, and 80% of grads go on to professional schools, funded grad programs, or the top-paying jobs in management, finance, etc. at the best regional and national companies. Any admit who can handle the financing should go to any of these colleges.</p>
<p>Type II — the top publics. This would include UCB, UCLA, UM, UVA and a few others. These colleges admit a much more academically-diverse group of students for a variety of socio-political reasons, and this has great ramifications. These colleges feel that they have to cull the herd, so to speak — via weeder courses. Almost all students work almost insanely-hard, yet only the top 20% get the kind of GPA needed to go on to professional schools, funded grad programs, or the top-paying jobs in management, finance, etc. at the best regional and national companies. </p>
<p>If you don’t believe this, go through the career center grad data for UCB. I find it disheartening to see how the vast majority either don’t report or have gone on to somewhat menial pickings. Contrast this with career center data for, say, Williams, Amherst, Columbia, etc.</p>
<p>In my opinion, before going to a type II school such as Berkeley, ask yourself if you are in the top 20% of admits. Do you have >2200 SAT, >4.4 high school GPA with tons of AP’s (scores of 5’s) or IB’s (highest scores too)? If you’re doing anything Math/Science/Engineering/Comp Sci intensive, you should have close to 800 on SAT Math, Math SAT Subject Test 2 and Chem or Physics SAT Subject. If you do, you are positioned to be one of the 20% who go to Berkeley, work very hard, earn a high GPA, and go on to something very good. If you do not have these kinds of stats, you will work insanely hard, fighting for the lefover B’s and C’s. You may not believe it, but you will get a couple of D’s and F’s, destroying many or your dreams. You may not believe it, the very grading infrastructure is stacked against you.</p>
<p>If you are one of the 80% of students who don’t have these stats, take your acceptance email from ANY Type II college and run in the opposite direction like Forest Gump. Better yet, don’t apply to these schools in the first place. Don’t get sucked into the BRAND. The BRAND is for the grad students and the top 20%. You won’t get the BRAND, you’ll get the shaft.</p>
<p>Unless you’re sure you’re in the top 2% of the college population who go on to Harvard Grad School, Wall Street, Google, or Apple — why not go to UCSC, UCD, UOP, Arizona State, or a whole bunch of other top-100 colleges? Be with plenty of bright people. Work insanely-hard for your love of knowledge — or don’t. Your choice. Have a lot more fun and free time. Get a high GPA and get to your dreams.</p>
<p>Want to rate colleges? Don’t play the usual ratings games. Rate colleges on reported student happiness, quality of UNDERGRADUATE instruction, average grad earnings after 10 years, and admission data to grad and professional schools. The data is easy to find on the internet. You’ll be amazed at which colleges score high and which don’t.</p>
<p>beebthe1, you should make a separate topic for that post. Everyone should read it.</p>
<p>excellent advice!</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Would you like the give links to the career surveys of Williams, Amherst, Columbia, etc.? Nothing obvious shows up when searching for “career survey” on their web sites (except that Williams may have something behind a student login wall).</p>
<p>I have looked in making up this list: <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/internships-careers-employment/1121619-university-graduate-career-surveys-4.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/internships-careers-employment/1121619-university-graduate-career-surveys-4.html</a> . Many of the usual elite schools do not have publicly readable career surveys, or not very detailed ones.</p>
<p>beebthe1, well said! Even while going to Cal, many people would always talk about how they felt that at other schools, the school would take care of you and treat you as their own, while at many government-instituted schools, you are treated more like a number. It’s sort of like the difference between Soviet Russia and the United States.</p>
<p>In my story, I am not exaggerating when I said that the rain seemed to follow me whenever I came back home to SoCal. I flew back home many times, and, every single time without fail, it would just begin to rain in SoCal. It was always like the exact day that I got back! A weird coincidence I guess? </p>
<p>In my thread on depression forums, I talk more about the possible underpinnings of anhedonia/emotional numbness. Many, many years ago, it was often assumed that anhedonia/emotional numbness was a result of emotions just getting “stuck,” getting older, or because the sufferer was repressing his/her emotions to avoid pain. As we learn more in the fields of neurobiology, we are beginning to form more accurate and complex models. </p>
<p>As you may see on my thread, on the first page I theorized that the illness was a result of a depletion the monoamine neurotransmitters dopamine and norepinephrine (not serotonin, I theorized, since elevating serotonin is often known to blunt emotions and flatted out/even moods and libido). There were many problems with this hypothesis that I will not discuss here, but, essentially, it was becoming increasingly more obvious that this was false. After much discussion and research - after reading through many scientific articles, looking at imaging studies, contacting leaders in the field, watching lectures, trying many different drugs, and relating experiences, the best guess at what is going on in simplistic terms is this:</p>
<p>Dysfunctional feedback mechanisms in the brain keep a certain part of the brain over-active. This part of the brain regulates pleasure, and, when turned “on,” inhibits reward circuits. If reward circuits are “turned-down,” there may be less of a release of neurotransmitters because the signals are suppressed, but this does not equate to a “depletion of neurotransmitters.” The chemical imbalance is a result of something else going on.</p>
<p>Serotonin is an inhibitory neurotransmitter, so is usually used to “turn down” these overactive circuits, however, elevating serotonin levels may also blunt pleasure and raise the threshold on reward. In the brain, the reward circuitry and emotional circuitry are closely linked in the limbic system.</p>
<p>It has been recently theorized that dopamine is not actually a neurotransmitter of pleasure, but mediates “wanting” rather than “liking,” while natural opioids (endorphins, endalkins, etc.) mediate the actual “liking” response. Sometimes the dopamine circuit may potentiate or trigger the opioid circuits.</p>
<p>Norepinepherine is involved in alertness and arousal, but is not as powerful on motivation/reward as dopamine.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, you cannot simply just artificially raise dopamine, norepinepherine, and opioids in the brain with pharmaceuticals to solve the problem. The reward circuits are especially vulnerable to tolerance. Addiction/dependence on the substances that do this is very likely. Other issues also exist such as a “crash” after the effect wears off and the need for frequent dosing.</p>
<p>I live in the Bay Area and think Berkeley is highly-overrated as a place to get an undergraduate degree, but a lot of the issues described here area ones you would find at any big state university - not just Berkeley. Cramped dorms, lousy roommates, sitting in lecture halls with hundreds of other students not understanding what the professors are talking about, being taught by graduate students of varying quality…</p>
<p>I had the same experience going to Ohio State (50,000 students) my freshman year. I transferred to a school with 3000 students, and it made all the difference in the world.</p>
<p>The right fit is everything, in choice of school as well as in job, choice of marriage partner, buying (or not buying) the right house, etc.
The assessment of UCB on this thread is colored by the sad mental illness of BerkeleySurvivor and the jaundice of others who jumped in to contribute. But most everyone made some good points, if they can be seen soberly and in the context of their personalities and the choices they made.
Case in point: (just another anecdote, I know- but it makes my point) DD of a friend who transferred from an uber-selective tiny LAC after a bout of terrible depression the first two years there- the school felt claustrophobic, snooty, class choices seems paltry to her, the community was “vanilla toast,” the weather was dismal… you get the gist of it. All subjective.
She’ll graduate from UC Berkeley this June. She was so happy there. The town is “hopping,” the people are “so interesting,” the class choices are “amazing,” most teachers and even the graduate students who assist them were “fascinating people,” and the weather- “best in the world- perennial spring.” Granted, she never lived in the dorms, neither the nice ones nor the crammed ones. I know her experience because I was asked by her parent to be of assistance because of where we live. She is a renter sharing a house not far from campus with a few others. Money was not an issue for this family, so her living conditions are very nice. She is best friends with two of her house mates.
Different fit, different perception, different take.</p>
<p>I add this because this thread began as one person’s wrenching saga, and has now morphed into a lot of generalization.</p>
<p>And the OP’s latest post here, #71, shows that keen mind that did at least correctly diagnose part of what went down here. BerkeleySurvivor- I hope you go back to school (another school) and put your excellent abilities to doing serious research on mental illness. The world needs you.</p>
<p>To everyone:</p>
<p>In my previous post, I ran with the “admonition” part of Survivor’s original post. From responses here and PM I have received, there’s quite a bit of interest in the issues I’ve described.</p>
<p>I do not wish to hijack OP’s original, important post. Therefore, in a few days, after finding the best forum elsewhere on CC, I will start a new thread starting with my original post. </p>
<p>BTW, my post was not meant to bash UCB; it was a comparison of what I called Type I schools vs. Type II schools, citing merely that Survivor’s experience was an example of what sometimes happens to very bright (but not genius/brilliant) students at Type II flagship publics. Therefore, I won’t necessarily be starting the thread in the “Berkeley” CC section. </p>
<p>Please, let’s leave it at that for now. This is Survivor’s thread.</p>
<p>Was anyone else PMed a link to this?
I find that very sad.
I had actually already read this on another site.</p>
<p>Why does someone have to try to scare us admitted students? </p>
<p>I feel for you, OP, and I understand you’re original intent, but…</p>
<p>MAYBE, Cal will be the perfect fit for many!
MAYBE not.
It depends on a variety of factors.</p>
<p>I’m sorry your experience was not what you hoped it to be and I hope you get your life back on track, but you have to realize that there are happy, healthy students who come out of Cal. </p>
<p>People, you just can’t force your things down other’s throats. That is not okay.
Shame on all of you who keep forwarding us admitted Cal students links to this!
If we want the information, we will find it on our own.</p>
<p>I did say in an earlier post that many people enjoy Cal and to take everything with a grain of salt.</p>
<p>Also, just because you enjoy something; say, science and tinkering, does not mean that you will enjoy pursuing engineering as a career - just keep that in mind. I’m the type of kid to always have side-projects. Here are some examples:</p>
<p>GEIGER COUNTER BUILT FROM HOUSEHOLD MATERIALS</p>
<p>MUSICAL TESLA COIL</p>
<p>TRANSCRANIAL MAGNETIC STIMULATION DEVICE FROM HOUSEHOLD MATERIALS</p>
<p>RAY GUN FROM HOUSEHOLD MATERIALS</p>
<p>QUANTUM LASER MICROMETER</p>
<p>HACKING VARIOUS GAMES</p>
<p>FUSION JR. HOME ENERGY REACTOR</p>
<p>(No, I don’t dress like that or wear glasses in real life and am not grumpy or anything, that is just for the videos, lol). These projects are a great outlet for my own personal creativity and ingenuity. At UC Berkeley, I rarely had time!</p>
<p>[This post was edited for privacy.]</p>
<p>I read the entire post. Wow. First off, thank you so much for sharing your experience and I cannot imagine how hard it was the write all of that. </p>
<p>I can further support what you say about Berkeley. My dad is this brilliant guy, perfect SAT scores (back when it was on a 1600 scale), Math II/Physics/Chem SAT II scores, Toefl scores and got into MIT on a full ride as an international student. War hit and he couldn’t obtain a passport.</p>
<p>Later, he came to America, went to community college and transferred to UC Berkeley as an EECS major on regents. As I’m now choosing colleges, he told me to STAY AWAY FROM BERKELEY NO MATTER WHAT. He said everything you said, the profs are unforgiving, humanities courses are ridiculously subjective, etc. My dad graduated with a 3.7 GPA from Cal, but he said he’d go 3-4 days without sleep and weeks where he only slept 1-2 hours. Words cannot describe how soul breaking it is. This is coming from a genius international student who had no intention of having a social life/clubs/girls because he was also raising a family at the time he was there.</p>
<p>I sort of thought he was exaggerating, but from what you wrote, I can see that it’s true. I truly thank you again for writing all of this. I sincerely hope you get better and best wishes for the future.</p>
<p>BerkeleySurvivor, you do NOT need to defend yourself. When posting anything like this, there are ALWAYS going to be people who will pick it to death looking for some way to criticize you, and if they can’t find anything, will literally make **** completely up. True story. You owe nothing to these people.</p>
<p>Everybody else, let’s see - he’s REPEATEDLY said that “your mileage may vary” and someone else might have a great time at Berkeley, that this is simply his own personal experience, that he’s impressivley objective about it based on the many positive experiences he had here in isolation, discussed his mental illness in detail…what else are you looking for? This is CLEARLY not the rant of someone trying to bash the school; it’s the story of someone who suffered a serious mental breakdown and wants to prevent the same thing from happening to others by letting them know that many people with similar constitutions and issues in their lives totally broke down under the very real stress at Berkeley. For all the *****ing about EECS that happens on this forum, you’d think people would take it a bit more seriously when someone warns “this could happen to you” if you’re a certain type of person and unprepared for it.</p>
<p>To put it simply: Berkeley EECS is like one of those drugs with a long list of side effects, “Warning: do not take if you are pregnant, nursing, blah blah blah…” Now, for some people that drug may be GREAT, the best thing they’ve ever taken that solves all their issues, perfect for them…other people may experience horrible side effects. A rare few may even end up in the hospital. The drug, though highly effective for some people, is not for them. But it would be HUGELY irresponsible not to warn people of the potential risk if they are susceptible to such side effects. So while Berkeley might be one person’s dream school, another might go crazy from the stress.</p>
<p>Regardless of how you feel about this school, there is NO REASON to personally attack him, and his motives have been questioned more than enough. BerkeleySurvivor I applaud you for having the courage to come on here and tell your story - you’re being responsible by telling people the truth about what could happen to someone if Berkeley isn’t a good fit for them.</p>
<p>I remember that while in EECS many of the EECS students would always make jokes about the major.</p>
<p>The joke was that there was “social life,” “sleep,” and “academics/course work.” In EECS, pick one.</p>
<p>Anyone have similar experiences at other big-name schools like Berkeley?</p>
<p>WOW. your thread has over 6,000 views. we are interested in your experience. thanks for sharing. it’s been sobering and causing another look at the more pleasant UCSD, LaJolla scene…no clue what to think about UCLA…</p>