<p>brendan1 - </p>
<p>Even if the anecdotal “report” you cite were true, how exactly do you make the leap from 14 kids not graduating to an attrition rate of 26%??? Look at the total enrollment at Andover and do some simple math! Please think before you post.</p>
<p>A bit more about Exeter: two of my very close friends decided to ultimately not attend Exeter because of the highly competitive atmosphere. This was their idea of “lack of nurturing”. They have a great advisee/support system, but it’s the atmosphere that can greatly discourage a student. For me, that’s not really a problem, but unless you’re absolutely sure that you want to go, I’d say you shouldn’t even apply. Just an opinion; I may be wrong, but Exeter seems pretty extreme in all respects.</p>
<p>@gapoc459
I would not say it is a highly competitive atmosphere. If you mean that the people are neck and neck, that’s more percieved, not really true for the majority of the population. Yes, many people are smart, and motivated, and want to do their best. But that lends to a intellectual atmosphere in some groups, but not a competitive one. The support system is great, and in general you need to want it. You need to want to go to boarding school, to want the most for yourself. I would say that’s a necessity no matter what when you’re going away from home at 14 for considerable expense.</p>
<p>I agree with gapoc… Or at least I was in a similar situation. I chose not to attend Exeter because of its intense, highly competitive atmosphere. My mother thought it came off as being “too cold and impersonal for a 14 year old.”
I was also admitted to lawrenceville, and I found it to be a nurturing, close knit community. The house system really seems to forge powerful friendships and increase school spirit. Though the school has roughly 800 students, almost ALL of the freshman(around 150) seemed to know each other.
I’ll be attending Andover this fall;it is by no means a school for the faint of heart, but it is definitely not a “sink or swim” environment, at least in my opinion. They transition freshmen into the school through exclusively 9th grade dorms, pass/fail classes in the fall, and a somewhat generic freshman schedule(history 100 for all, English 100 for all, a math, a language, bio 100 for most, and art/PE/music as a 6th course). In addition, the current students I talked to raved about their advisors and the resources available to them when beginning to “sink.”</p>
<p>IMO all the schools you have mentioned will claim to have very proficient Advisory Programs with no chance of falling through a crack. Being somewhat the off season right now, proponents (and opponents) of the schools you mentioned may not be currently present here on CC. You or your child’s vision of nurturing may differ from the school or Advisor. We can all have a bad day(s) and the one day of need may not be present. You have to somehow come to your own conclusion with the nurturing aspect which also correlates with FIT. The more academically challenging school with a large school body can find a student more reluctant to reach out due to peer pressure or what would appear to be the norm. I’m positive the door is almost always open at all the schools but it’s actually going through it that will be the issue. The same can be said with smaller schools but then the teacher or Advisor is more able to literally, for lack of better words, corner the individual. During our tour at Taft years ago, we ran into our guide’s Advisor (HeadMaster’s wife). As soon as the niceties concluded she was all over him and what free time he had left just vanished.</p>
<p>A good prep school will nurture its students in accordance with the multiple meanings of that word. It will “protect” students by giving them help. It will “encourage” students to mature by providing them the breathing room to develop their independence. And it will “educate” students to educate themselves. </p>
<p>Tension sometimes exists between these three elements of nurturing. So, it’s important to balance them when making your prep school choices depending upon the relative importance you assign to each of these three criteria. </p>
<p>Keep in mind, however, that these three elements also importantly interrelate with one another. For example, one of the best lessons a student can learn at a nurturing prep school is when he should exercise the maturity to seek help from others so that he can help himself.</p>
<p>I really think students and parents have to spend some time on campus vetting the “climate” and talking to existing students in person to get a real bead on things. I know of some families who find Exeter (or any other school) “nurturing” and other who don’t. You’d be surprised how much you can pick up on vibes by sitting in on a class, or eating in the cafeteria and observing the interactions.</p>
<p>“Fit” may be a big determinant in whether one finds the campus culture to be sufficiently supportive or not. For the most part, some faculty are nurturing, others are not. And that is true of ANY school on or off the original poster’s list. Some students get a lot of support and the adults assigned to them stay on top of things, and others do not. Certainly I remember mid semester as a proctor having a dorm faculty member ask me the identity of a student walking up a nearby stairwell and I looked at her incredulously and said “she’s one of your advisees.” And recently talked to a parent whose child withdrew because of the lack of proactive support and even made the comment that had the child been assigned to a different person, the outcome might have been more positive. So armed with that information, I took it upon myself to interact with various faculty during my reunion. The parent was right - the “teacher” in question saw me in the hallway, engaged me in conversation, invited me to observe a class project, and then let me help the students develop a design solution. The other teacher (the student’s adviser) ignored me as I observed the class, didn’t stimulate the students, seemed to go through the motions and looked bored. I ran into teachers who exuded joy and made the content interesting, and others who didn’t.</p>
<p>So the operative word is - IT DEPENDS - on you, your advisor, and a lot of other variables on whether a school is nurturing. There is no definitive answer to the question. One person’s paradise may be another person’s (you know where down below). Caveat Emptor.</p>
<p>blueisbest makes a good point:
</p>
<p>No matter the multitude of nuturing resources a school may offer, it’s moot if the student will not avail himself/herself of them. </p>
<p>*You can lead a horse to water, but… *</p>