How nurturing are top BS? Any material difference?

Prep School Admissions
1

<p>Hi There -</p>

<p>Of these 8 boarding schools, would some be considered more or less nurturing than the rest or is this something that there would be little difference among these fine schools? Which are most vested in the success of the individual student, particularly freshman year? I've heard, for example, that the advisor to advisee ratio varies tremendously between schools from a maximum of 5 advisees at one school to schools allowing greater 12 advisees. Perhaps there are other ways schools might vary on the level of nurturing.</p>

<p>Andover
St. Paul's
Exeter
Groton
Deerfield
Lawrenceville
Milton
Hotchkiss</p>

<p>Best,
Jon</p>

2

<p>I’ve heard great things about Groton nurturing-wise. Can’t say much though; I’m going to Exeter in the fall. I may be wrong, but I don’t think it’s particularly “nurturing”… I’d say that smaller schools are intrinsically more nurturing than larger ones. Could you maybe be more specific in what you’re looking for?</p>

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<p>I had heard such about Groton as well as St. Paul’s. Wondering if anyone can say whether their experience with any of these eight was nurturing or neutral.</p>

<p>D is smart – smart enough to get by in a fairly competitive college prep day school (#4 day school in one of ten largest US cities) working well below her potential but still achieving okay. I’ve talked to the school and they basically said in a nice way they have bigger fish to fry than an exceptionally smart kid who is getting low to medium A’s when she should be getting high As. For example, she lost her math book halfway through the year but never informed anyone as she thought it was trivial, never took notes, and still pulled out a sufficient grade. This in the highest level math class.</p>

<p>Thanks,
Jon</p>

4

<p>I think a good metric to look at would be graduation rates… How many kids start and graduate the school. I would venture to guess that any school outside the norm would not be particularly neuturing. This is not a statistic that is readily accessable but I have seen people post it on this site for various schools. For example, I believe a saw a rent post that said only around 74 percent of kids graduate from one of the schools you listed.</p>

5

<p>I can only speak to one school on your list - Deerfield. Our research showed Deerfield to have an excellent advising system and a good peer culture. DS was accepted there, but ultimately chose to attend Thacher. Its small size (around 250 students), focus on the Honor Code (Honor, Kindness, Fairness, Truth), incredibly positive peer culture, and an environment that encourages strong relationships between students and faculty/staff make it (IMO) the most academically rigorous yet nurturing school out there.</p>

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<p>Anecdotal evidence I recall on these threads suggests that large schools are like “small colleges” wherein kids can “opt out” of close relationships with adults/teachers. The smaller schools put the two together more intentionally. But can you “make a large school small”? I was intrigued last cycle by L’ville’s House system, when we applied. How well does it actually work? I do not really know, but you might solicit more on that. The book “Privilege” by Khan is about SPS; he’s writing from the inside out. Some vignettes give a definite sense of how “nurturing” (or not), which further investigation could follow up on. (And some things change over just a few years, so be chronologically mindful of what you hear.) Observations/discussions on campus and perusal of student publications are counterweights to comments on CC, and to statistical metrics like grad rates. Some on CC will tell you much more in the way of specifics through PMs. We will begin at St. Andrew’s in DE this fall, and one of the chief selling points, especially via current parents, which we are optimistic about, is the appropriate nurturing for a 14-15 year old.</p>

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<p>Among the New England schools, I think it’s safe to say that the smaller the school, the more “nurturing” it’s going to be. </p>

<p>And, to be honest, if that’s what you’re looking for, I’d suggest broadening your search to include some of the not quite so competitive schools. Depending on your child’s interests, you may find one that’s a perfect fit and provides the level of support you’re looking for. Governor’s, Loomis and Brooks would definitely fit into this category, as would St. Andrew’s (in Delaware), Taft, Berkshire, and Tabor - a few of my personal favorites.</p>

<p>As noted, among the schools you’ve named, Groton would probably be the most supportive, with Milton perhaps a distant second. (Groton admits 8th graders, so it’s particularly adapted to providing the support necessary for its younger students.)</p>

<p>Both Exeter and Andover are like mini-college campuses. If your child isn’t ready to take full responsibility for his or her life there, it won’t turn out well. Exeter, in particular, has a well-earned reputation for “sink or swim” - for the kids who want that, and are ready for it, it’s an amazing environment . . . but kids who aren’t ready really don’t belong there.</p>

<p>Lawrenceville is different - and probably somewhat more supportive than one would expect to find at a New England school of comparable size . . . but it’s still a large school with all of the challenges that come with a large school.</p>

<p>And, by the way - it’s not the ratio of advisors to advisees that’s significant . . . it’s what the advisor’s expected role is. Is he or she expected to be “hands on” and meet with the student regularly, or is he/she there for emergencies only? It makes a difference . . . and if you’re really serious about finding a school with an advisor who’s willing to act as part-time parent to your child, you need to come up with a different list.</p>

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<p>Forgot to mention the “BS Parent Resource List” thread on the Parents forum – switch over to that side and contact those who have volunteered to help/pm, especially if you have specific questions for an individual school.</p>

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<p>

</p>

<p>That is utter and complete nonsense. None of the schools listed have a 26% attrition rate. Nor do any of the other well-known schools.</p>

<p>These are high schools, for goodness sakes, not colleges. The schools accept the kids they expect will perform well there and, in most cases, the kids do.</p>

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<p>Alas, I have nothing to contribute other than saying “it depends”…there was a rather spirited discussion over the past year or two over the “smaller schools are intrinsically more nurturing than larger ones” point — in which many people argued that this is not necessarily true (despite how intuitive that seems to me).</p>

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<p>Good points all. It is not so much my daughter needs a parent as she would benefit from a mentor who cares about her success and gets invested. Supportive and mentoring are better word choices than nurturing. We’re wanting to segment these schools into a category where the advisors are more hands-on & mentoring versus the category of advisors responding to emergencies. So far we’ve got the following:
Andover - ???
St. Paul’s - supportive
Exeter - sink or swim on your own
Groton - supportive
Deerfield - supportive
Lawrenceville - supportive
Milton - supportive
Hotchkiss - ???</p>

<p>Any insights on Hotchkiss or Andover other than size correlation?</p>

<p>Thanks,
Jon</p>

12

<p>I disagree with the “sink or swim” comment at Exeter. Students, especially Preps and first year students, have a great amount of support. Parents do too, if they want it. Exeter doesn’t want their students to “sink” and have a great support network set up to ensure that kids have what they need to succeed. Obviously, if a student is given support and is still struggling, a serious decision would have to be made.</p>

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<p>Updated with additional Exeter feedback:</p>

<p>Andover - ???
St. Paul’s - supportive
Exeter - 1 sink or swim; 1 supportive
Groton - supportive
Deerfield - supportive
Lawrenceville - supportive
Milton - supportive
Hotchkiss - ???</p>

14

<p>Could we back up? Is the boarding school idea your idea, or your daughter’s? Why you aiming for those eight schools?</p>

<p>I don’t think any of the schools on your list will be “nurturing and supportive” in the manner you describe. They are all very competitive, academically and socially intense schools. All of them require students to be organized–ready to tackle an accelerated class load under significant time constraints. They aren’t schools for children who are currently performing beneath their potential.</p>

<p>There are boarding schools which are reputed to do very well with children who are smart, but not excelling. None of the schools you listed have that reputation.</p>

<p>If you can afford the fees, I’d recommend you engage a reputable educational consultant. [Independent</a> Educational Consultants Association | IECA](<a href=“http://www.iecaonline.com/]Independent”>http://www.iecaonline.com/) He or she would be able to help you ascertain which schools might best fit your daughter’s needs. </p>

<p>It is not the best idea to go into detail about your daughter’s characteristics on an open, anonymous internet board dedicated to prep school admissions. See: <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-admissions/427714-if-youre-new-cc-please-read-before-posting.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-admissions/427714-if-youre-new-cc-please-read-before-posting.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

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<p>jjs123,</p>

<p>Andover takes a balanced approach: it encourages students to become self-reliant while simultaneously providing an extensive safety net for those students who need it. </p>

<p>More particularly, each student at Andover has a support group that includes his or her dorm counselors, cluster dean, academic advisor, and teachers. </p>

<p>If one person in this support groups knows about a problem, everyone in the support group generally knows about that problem unless privacy concerns are involved. </p>

<p>When and if additional support is required, Andover provides it in myriad ways that include nurses, doctors, counselors, tutors, an Academic Support Office, etc. </p>

<p>Periwinkle is right: schools like Andover are rigorous academic environments geared to mature, high achievers. However, even high achieving and mature students need help. And when they do, Andover provides it.</p>

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<p>Dodgersmom: this is where I read the post. Whether this information is accurate or not, the metric is still a good one, if official school reps will provide. </p>

<p>Andover Class Size
06-08-2012 | 12:37 PM
swimdude006
The senior class was hit hard this year as to how many of the original actually graduated. Dorm councilor said in our final meeting that at this year’s senior dorm reunion, only 26 out of the original 40 were able to come, everyone else had gotten kicked out/left.</p>

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<p>We visited 5 of the schools you mentioned when we toured last year and there are definitely big differences among them in their overall tone and approach. I think it’s hard to categorize them as clearly more or less nurturing since each of them does individual things that might be considered one way or the other, adding up to an overall picture that’s hard to categorize. Plus, I think “nurturing” is a somewhat subjective term.</p>

<p>Here’s an example: my daughter will be attending St. Paul’s this fall. This was the only school we visited that didn’t have separate living arrangements by age -students in all 4 grades live together. This could be considered a “less” nurturing situation. On the other hand, the advisories are dorm based -every student has an advisor affiliated with their dorm and spends time with that sub-group of dorm mates. I would consider that a “nurturing” arrangement in that it closely connects a student’s academic life with their residential life. </p>

<p>I really think it’s these particulars and the overall feel of the school that matter. At any school you’re going to have more and less engaged advisors. I would figure out schools to visit and then decide which ones have the right “feeling” about them for your family. You don’t have to apply every place you visit - we visited 8 schools and my daughter ended up applying to 3. They were very different schools from one another and the only common thread was that she felt very comfortable at all of them.</p>

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<p>Mom of 2012 Andover grad, agree with Periwinkle and Blueisbest. DD is highly independent and didn’t want a lot of hand holding, but the one or two times that I contacted her advisor (who was <strong>superb</strong>) with a concern, she was right on it, getting in touch with DD and with me very quickly. DD forged close relationships with her house counselor and with several faculty members. Perhaps the difference is that these are relationships that DD sought out or developed from shared interests and compatibility, rather than had imposed on her. Finally, I can speak from personal experience that when a crisis occurs the entire school rallies, from the Head of School on down, in an outpouring of support and caring.</p>

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<p>Does your daughter really want to go to BS herself? She doesn’t sound like a particularly motivated individual, and those are the kinds of people that suffer, no matter how nurturing the school. If she can complete the application herself, and prepare for the SSAT, and be motivated enough to do it herself and get in, then she should go to boarding school. If not, maybe you should rethink. Just some thoughts from a sophomore at Exeter.</p>

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<p>Fairly rich portraits have been painted of Andover and St. Paul’s - Thank you. We now have a better sense what to look for among schools and to appreciate nuances of individual schools.</p>