<p>Of course we’d love to have our son call daily with exciting updates of his days at Alabama.
Realistically, how often do most kids phone home? or should I say text or skype, or whatever.</p>
<p>it varies with each kid. i let mine take the lead about how much she wants to talk. i do email her info and stuff but let her do the calling.</p>
<p>often she will call regularly on certain days when she has a long walk to or from a class.</p>
<p>sometimes she will call a few times a week, and sometimes once or none at all. kind of depends on her workload. when she is swamped or has to study, she calls way less.</p>
<p>but every kid is different.</p>
<p>When our D was a freshman we asked her to check in at least once a day by text, call or email for safety reasons UNTIL she established a group of friends/support system. This was mainly because she really didn’t know anyone at Bama when she went. It didn’t take long for her to find that support system, but I seemed to continue to get those excited phone calls/texts frequently.</p>
<p>However, with my son who is going next year and will have an older sister there, I will hope to hear from him once a week!</p>
<p>Boys are often the worst. lol</p>
<p>Both of my boys followed the same pattern. At first, they would occasionally call, but they would get annoyed if I called. So, if I needed to talk to them, I would text or email…and they’d get back to me later. </p>
<p>As time went on, my older son began regularly calling while walking to and from class…usually to tell me about a grade he’d gotten or something like that. My younger son would go a week without calling, but that’s ok…he’s the more independent type.</p>
<p>When kids go off to college, they’re spreading their wings and cutting the apron strings. Frankly, this really isn’t that odd. When I went to college, I rarely called my folks because long distance charges were too expensive.</p>
<p>Like Mike says, it depends. Girls seem to contact home more than boys. I’d say you already have a sense of how much they’ll contact you based on how often they call/text when they’re at home or when they’ve been at summer programs.</p>
<p>One of the best pieces of CC advice I ever took was about talking with your student about communication expectations before they left for Freshman year. Most family communication issues at the beginning of freshman year occur because the parents assume that the kiddo will call/text every day or so, while the kiddo figures they’ll contact if they need something. As you’ll see in a few weeks, there will be threads from parents saying “I haven’t heard from my S since move in and he won’t return my calls!” and threads from students saying “holy cow, my mom won’t stop texting me!” </p>
<p>We asked D how often she thought she’d call home. She asked us what we wanted her to do. We said, um no, you’re an adult now, what do you think will work for YOU? She pondered then decided that calling home 2x/week should work. And it usually does. What we’ve found over time is that it’s easier if she calls us individually as the chats that I have are different from the ones she has with DH or D2. And we can each have a good conversation rather than play pass the phone. </p>
<p>Add in texts, emails and FB chat and she’s probably in touch with one of us every day or so.</p>
<p>When my older son went away, he’d call every time he needed money or if he was walking to class and had no one in the world to talk to for those few minutes. It will interesting to see how often #2 son calls home. He is not a phone person!</p>
<p>My husband had set up with his parents, call on Wed and Sun, when he went to college. He continued that until his first parent past away. After that, he called every day, just to check on his widowed father.</p>
<p>We set up the same system with son, call Wed and Sun, but we do tell him, if you have lots of tests, papers, etc, due on a Thursday, you can call another day. We won’t stress.</p>
<p>He and H text each other back and forth a lot during the day, especially with son reporting grades. Mom gets to say hello at the end of the Wed, Sun talks, although if an important email comes in about housing or a bill or even registration, Mom gets a call.</p>
<p>My son likes to call while walking to and from classes a couple of times a week. Sometimes, we’ll set a time for me to call him while I’m sitting in the car waiting for his younger brother to complete cross country or track and field practice. </p>
<p>We trade e-mails, and my husband will exchange texts with him.</p>
<p>My D calls one of us (Dad, Mom, or one of her siblings) every day. It’s easier to text her from our end and let her do the calling since I’m not always aware of her schedule. Don’t worry, they’ll always call if they need something. :)</p>
<p>I would usually talk to my parents about once every two weeks, but sometimes less often depending how busy I was. My dad joked that he only knew I was alive because of my credit card bills. I know some people who talked to their parents every day though.</p>
<p>Okay, from the other end of the spectrum. </p>
<p>My DS has allowed me to continue to access his school e-mail (I keep my reading the actual messages to general school stuff and I never open anything until he has). Why? he’s not much of a talker, he knows that if I can see that he’s accessed his e-mail that day he’s alive and well and I won’t bombard him with messages. For @ the first month at UA calls were 2x/week, then an actual call once a week; year 2 - not unusual to be every other week, even 3rd week (do get short texts). Like I said he’s not much of a talker, heaven forbid he only talks to DH (another non-talker) all I get is “he’s fine” so DS knows that doesn’t count. You’ll find that if at home he tells every detail, he’ll do so from UA; if not, you have to lead those conversations as well.</p>
<p>If you haven’t set up skype accounts you will probably want to do so. My son and I skype most Sunday nights. He is good about sending pictures and texts intermittently throughout the week and I do the same. I have access to his accounts, etc… and he has access to mine (I’m widowed and he’s an only.) I love it when he uses his Ipad and walks around the dorm or somewhere on campus and narrates. He gets that the calls/texts aren’t about checking up on him but about sharing. He isn’t really communicative either, so the pictures are worth a lot. Keep in mind that the UA community works hard to keep our kids safe and try not to worry!</p>