<p>D is about 1 hour away. The first year I gave her her "space" and encouraged her to not come home on weekends to help establish herself. She is a junior now, she spent the summer studying in Italy, so saw her very little in the summer. I decided this year that in less than 2 years, she will be off creating her own life soooo....I visit every opportunity I get... games, performances, dinner, shop...whatever! We are best friends and enjoy each others company!</p>
<p>Son is several hours away by plane, so our only visits have been taking him to school in August or picking him up in May. Now that he has his own car and drives out, we don't visit at all. He comes home for winter, spring, and summer break, although that is likely to change, as he has spring break plans and may just visit for a couple of weeks next summer and live in his college town the rest of the summer, when not gone to music programs. </p>
<p>We do plan to go next year for his senior recital. (This year he did a preview of his junior recital at our church during winter break, so that family and friends could hear him play trumpet.) I wish we could be there for some of his performances, but it just isn't possible.</p>
<p>school is about a 2.5-3 hour car trip for me, and my parents usually visit a couple times a semester, generally for my Wind Symphony concerts. They usually stay for the weekend, and we have a couple meals together.</p>
<p>Twice in four years; once first year, once senior year. College on opposite coast, junior year spent DC/abroad.</p>
<p>We visited DS about 5 times last year as a freshman and once so far this year. Its about a 6 hour drive so its a full weekend trip. Like paying3tuitions DS is very involved in theater so all the trips involved performances. We would take him out to dinner away from campus. Sometimes we would be the only parents at a performance so we would ask our son whether his friends thought it was strange that we would drive so far to see him. The response was interesting. His friends were jealous! One senior told him ruefully that he'd been there 4 years and his parents (who live much closer than us) had never once visited to see him perform.</p>
<p>P3T I was glad to hear you have stayed in the dorm. I could care less where I sleep, but care very much about saving money, so may take an offspring up on that offer at some point! </p>
<p>Was very frustrated the few times I visited Pittsburgh that hotels were so pricey in the university area. Aside from drop off and pick up, I only went there once while classes were in session. Now that my S has graduated, I'm sad I didn't get there more, esp when he was rowing crew. They are busy, but a little glimpse of their lives, a meal out and interest in their activities is worthwhile for all. I did enjoy getting to know Pittsburgh a bit, as the area is not familiar. </p>
<p>I've considered this more this fall, as my D is in a school an hour away, and between tennis and orchestra/chamber music concerts, I've been at the school quite frequently. Knowing her roommates, and having a feel for the dynamics in her dorm has been quite heartwarming. The December concerts seemed a bit sad..nice music, barely an audience. I was sad for all the parents not in attendence. </p>
<p>Sad too when I think of my S, as that time is never to be regained. But we did have a great time when I visited him on a semester abroad in Ecuador!</p>
<p>Son (only child) is about an hour drive away, sophomore at college in Boston. We visit every three weeks or so, check to make sure he's still in one piece, pickup/deliver laundry (wife can't let go) and incidentals, take he and girl friend to dinner occasionally. We never drop in unannounced, try not to intrude, and he seems not to mind when we're there.</p>
<p>Not to change the thread, but perhaps a better question would be "how often do you phone or e-mail your child at college, and do they answer/respond?" I'd love to know what the norm is here.</p>
<p>We've seen our son every month so far, though he's 1,000 miles away. It helps that my aging parents are nearby (okay--a 4 hour drive) so we visit them too. We have a Sunday afternoon phone call and usually daily e-mail contact. This is his first year and he's our only child. He's thanked us for not calling excessively. Some parents do.</p>
<p>My mother, sister, and I exchange a daily email in which H, S, and father are on the same distribution (by their request). The men tend to write two to three times per week versus every day. S seems to enjoy keeping in touch this way and writes a combination of long, interesting emails and brief touch base comments, depending on his mood. I sometimes cringe at his honesty with his grandmother and aunt on the distribution, but we have an unwritten rule to practice unconditional tolerance for all email content. (No judgment about activities.) We do any chastising in person when we see him. While we seem to get a fairly uncensored view of college life, he has gotten a good taste for adult ups and downs he might otherwise not hear about. Like all families, we are all a little nutty.</p>
<p>We are none of us phone people. Before I got married, I actually kept the phone unplugged unless I needed to make an outgoing call. My cell phone averages less than 30 minutes a month and that is 100% work related. I don't even carry it unless traveling on business. H carries his but forgets to turn it on most of the time.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Not to change the thread, but perhaps a better question would be "how often do you phone or e-mail your child at college, and do they answer/respond?" I'd love to know what the norm is here.
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I don't call them very often, but all 3 of mine (both in school and out) tend to call every day. Most often it is short calls while walking to class, driving to work, etc. If I do call them with a question, they usually call back within an hour or two. D. and I use IM a good bit also.</p>
<p>TheAnalyst, I am somewhat envious. I feel like the cell phone is a permanent appendage! But I do like the easy availability most times.</p>
<p>D is about 1 hour drive in school in Boston. I see her about once every two weeks....usually go down (at her request) for lunch or dinner and a little shopping.</p>
<p>We are about a 6 hour drive away from daughter's university. During her freshman and sophomore years we visited often, maybe about one a month. She was performing with the university orchestra so we tried to time visits with the concert schedule. During junior and senior years (she's currenty a senior), we visit less often -- partly because we now have a high schooler at home whose schedule is making things very hectic. D is also not playing in the orchestra any more during these last two years, as the engineering curriculum does not leave room for it anymore (makes me sad!).</p>