<p>Hi everyone. First of all Im a girl from tunisia. In the commonapp I have the option to write about a topic central to my identity.
I have this really important topic that I want to write about. I wanted to talk about how my culture and dad wanting to remarry a second wife to have a boy because girls are not enough, has driven me to be a feminist and and be a strong woman and how I managed to stand up to his desire.
Anyhow, its extremely personal to me and when writing it I felt like I was revealing a huge part of my life to the point where I wanted to back out and find another topic.
Should I avoid being this personal or is it a good thing?</p>
<p>It is not too personal, at least in US terms. However, do you have a guidance counselor or a mentor, someone you could talk to about it and not be worried about your father finding out your feelings, and try to work through your anxiety?</p>
<p>I do think it would be a rare case in the US, your situation, and it would give some insight into your upbringing, and how you have to stand up for yourself.</p>
<p>The essay is not meant to make you have a nervous breakdown though, and hopefully if you do start it and work through it, you will be even prouder of yourself that you have stood strong in such a situation.</p>
<p>@rhandco Oh I definitely did not have a nervous breakdown, if anything I think I have become much stronger. But that happened years ago anyways. The only issue I have is making adcoms uncomfortable for revealing too much about myself. And nope I have no counselors. </p>
<p>Just for reference - there are people who write in their college essays about being sexually assaulted, growing up with drugs and alcohol in the family, one or both parents in prison, losing a parent or sibling, and on and on. Adcoms see all sorts of very very personal topics, some which don’t even give any insight into the applicant’s character or growth.</p>
<p>Point being, I think your essay topic is great and the adcoms will not have a problem with it at all.</p>
<p>They don’t want plain essays about school and learning and activities, they want insight into you as a person. And it sounds like that topic, and linking it to becoming a stronger person, who happens to be female, would be a perfect one for you.</p>
<p>Good luck!</p>
<p>Given the political state of most college campuses right now, I would guess that your story would be very compelling. Nothing that you’ve written here so far sounds unusually personal.</p>
<p>@rhandco @WasatchWriter Thank you for your advice :). You guys made me much more relieved. </p>
<p>I agree with the advice above. Just be careful to make sure that the essay is about you, not your dad.</p>
<p>It’s a great topic and a compelling story. Write it. But remember–it has to be about <em>who you are</em> not just <em>how you changed</em> or <em>what you did</em>.</p>
<p>It’s an interesting topic! Apart from students from Utah, I doubt admissions readers see a lot of polygamy impacted essays.</p>
<p>@CHD2013 Thank you! I will keep that in mind.
@marvin100 By talking about who I am, here’s what I want to do. I want to mention for the past 20 years in my family not one female has continued her school years because of pressures to drop out(to get married/girls shouldn’t leave the house too often etc…). I will be the first to successfully graduate school and want to use my education so that more girls in my family would go to school, and to bring attention to issues facing women in my country and hopefully pursue a career involving women rights.
@GMTplus7 Wow, there’s polygamy in a US state?That is very surprising. </p>
<p>I don’t think this is a good topic the way it is presented right now.</p>
<p>It’s best if you are the main star or participant in your essay. How much influence or actions are you taking? </p>
<p>You really need actions or deeds to sell yourself in the personal essay.</p>
<p>This info might be better in the additional comments section. </p>
<p>@bomerr Im really interested in your point of view. Can you elaborate on what you mean by actions or deeds?</p>
<p>@Nariman</p>
<p>A lot of people give well intention advice such as ‘the personal statement is about letting the admissions people get to know you.’ And while that is true, the adcons are looking for certain key qualities in their students. It’s kinda like keywords in a resume or cover letter. The biggest factor I have seen–by far the number 1 quality–is students that are making a difference in their community. Students that are helping other people and just in general benefiting society. </p>
<p>Your issue of a society that does not value women is certainly a problem. With that said what are YOU DOING to solve this issue? That is what I mean by deeds or actions. The trap of this type of writing is that you may focus too much on your dad or the problem without really focusing on you. Without these key element your writing will be another sob story. </p>
<p>@bomerr But I have done many things already mentioned in my extracurriculars, so its simply not a sob story. I have carried out campaigns against sexual harrassment and domestic violence, I volunteer to teach karate to women to combat domestic violence, I do online blogging about feminism, been on a women empowerment conference in the US with a scholarship, made an awareness campaign on dangers of FGM. About 7 out of 10 of my EC’s are as such. To me mentioning these in an essay is just repeating information. I want to give a background of what made me start all of this in the beginning. </p>
<p>I disagree with @bomerr. I think this is a compelling topic. But… make sure you use specific anecdotes and actions on your part, not just sweeping statements.</p>
<p>Remove some of those things from your ECs and put them into the essay instead.</p>
<p>With the ECs your goal should be to appear well-rounded. Having 7/10 ECs on a similar subject actually works against you in that regard.</p>
<p>On the flip-side, putting some of that stuff into your essay would strengthen it. Also given that additional info i would advise against even writing about your dad or remarrying. It’s not classy to bad mouth people. Plus with those actives you can focus more directly on how you are affecting society in general. </p>
<p>@bomerr There is no way bad mouthing will be included because my father is not the focus of the essay, in some way I am using his decision as a symptom of a much larger issue in society, and it is the society that is my issue. Not my father.
Not mentioning such a topic in my opinion makes the essay much less personal, and more general.
But I will be using your advice and will see if it works out. Thank you :)</p>
<p>Okay, more bad advice. Do NOT take anything out of your ECs. You can still talk about your ECs in your essay even if they are listed elsewhere in your app. AND, this essay loses its punch if all reference to her dad is taken out. The point is that she grew up with a parent who thinks she is less worthwhile because she is female. That is a strong motivator for her, and one she should mention (although the remarrying part may not fit in). His advice is poor, do not take it.</p>
<p>@intparent “although the remarrying part may not fit in”. So your advice would be not mention it at all, or to just mention it briefly?</p>
<p>Well… you do want to talk about your dad trying to have more children to have a boy, and his comments/attitude oon this. I just think that he remarried is extraneous, maybe? I know it can be hard to fit a story like this into the word count, and to make sure you focus enough on your own thoughts at certain junctures and actions you have taken, stripping out is something to consider.</p>