<p>I'm working on my application essays, and am having a hard time deciding what I should write about. I have good stats (3.97/4.55; 2260; 790 lit, 780 US; 8 APs, etc.) and a fair amount of community service/extracurriculars/awards I could write about, but I also have some personal/life experience that is more meaningful to me and might make a more powerful essay if its not just too much information...
For example, there was some pretty bad abuse in my family which made me spend a year removed from my home and thus in a different school... Do I need to explain the reason why I did my tenth grade year at a different school from 9, 11, and 12... Is there a delicate way of saying it? Is it appropriate to write a personal statement about overcoming abuse and depression? Or will the admissions staff just think I'm too damaged? Or is it too disrespectful to my family who have done a lot of work to get better? I really need some outside perspective on this. Also, my father has Parkinson's disease, and I've done a lot to take care of him. Is that something I should put in the "any additional circumstances we should consider" or should it be an essay? Should all that stuff go in additional circumstaces? Or not at all? I'm generally a good writer when my thoughts aren't this jumbled.
So, again, I have other stuff I could write about, but I'm afraid it would be a little cookie-cutter, community service changed me, cliche, rather than genuine... But the cons are obvious too. So I'll stop rambling now and hope for some insightful replies.
By the way, my first choice by far is Pomona, and I'm applying ED. If you care to chance me while you're at it, I would not object... Unless of course you tell me I have no chance, in which case keep your opinions to yourself!! :)</p>
<p>I don't think writing about your family situation is a bad idea at all. You clearly are not "too damaged" based on the fact that you have done well in school and sound adjusted. I wrote my essay about being wrongly diagnosed with/treated for cancer and the fact that i spent my entire jr year of high school sick and missed a lot of school. If done well, you can express difficult situations without making it a sob story and without coming off unbalanced. You definitely don't want to make it into "feel sorry for me..." but rather, just express an incredibly important part of your development. Essays like these can make you a "real person" to the admission officer, which is really important.</p>
<p>(I was accepted to my ED school, so I assume this essay wasn't a terrible idea...)</p>
<p>I suggest that you have your GC include in their statement the info about your being removed from your home and why.</p>
<p>Your taking care of your father with Parkinson's disease could be an excellent essay topic. Similarly, your experiences with abuse could be a good essay topic if you focus on how you have grown due to that challenge, and how that has affected your life in terms of community service that you choose to do, career and major choices that you're considering, and how you choose to live your life. If you write about this, go light on the exact details of abuse so it doesn't seem like you're writing a "please pity me" essay, and express compassion, not lots of anger toward the abuser (if it's possible for you to do this by now. If not, just don't express a lot of anger because you don't want the essay to be a catharsis, You want it to show what you have to offer the college.)</p>
<p>Details about the abuse, however, would be very appropriate in your GC statement. In your personal statement, however, it would be good if you focus more on how you rose to the challenge, what you learned, and how that experience has affected how you live your life and plan to live your life.</p>
<p>I notice you are applying ED. If finances are any kind of concern for you, I strongly suggest that you not apply ED because while colleges will let students back out of ED for financial reasons, that can be hard. Colleges, not the student's family, determine what the student's financial need is, and colleges can choose to meet that need through a very loan-heavy package. ED also doesn't allow one to compare financial aid offers or to negotiate if one's favored school provides less financial aid than does another college.</p>
<p>Thank you for taking the time to answer... I can't imagine being wrongly diagnosed with cancer, especially so young, but I guess it's better than being accurately diagnosed with canceer :).</p>
<p>Oh, and I know very little about Pomona, so take this for what you will, but I think you have more than a very good chance.</p>
<p>I'd say you are in.</p>
<p>So kind of you.. I know it doesn't mean anything, but that stuff is just so soothing to hear, you know? I'm going to be frazzled until Thurdsay (ED deadline), so anything calming really helps.</p>
<p>I shamefully admit that I'm inpatient and just bumping myself with this reply. But at least I'm honest!</p>
<p>Bump again</p>